So, I tried to post a prequel to this, but blogger hates me lately (or maybe you can see the post and I can't, it involves an awesome award and other gloriousness)- blogger likes to fuck with me like that.
I am partaking in an interesting idea proposed by -R-.
An anonymous blog share, of sorts. A large group of us signed up, and we are posting anonymously on other people's blogs for one day. It was entirely random, and in it's randomness, perfect.
So today's blog is not authored by me.
It is a fellow blogger that needs to get something off her chest (yes, it is a girl in this case). For whatever reason she can't post this on her own blog and I'm down with that. Who am I to judge? Lots of times there are things that even the most "put it all out there" of us can't put all out there. Such is life and having a job and family and responsibilities.
Ladies and gentlemen: A blogger's confession:
Know what I never want to admit to my blogging public?
I like to fight.
If I'm even the slightest bit cranky, I will pick a fight with my significant other before you can blink. In calmer moments, he and I have rationally discussed this strange proclivity of mine. He does his best, he really does, not to take my critical outbursts too seriously. Occasionally, he succeeds in making a joke as I'm slipping and sliding into the argue-y place, which jolts me out of my funk. Other times, his lighthearted jokes only make me angrier and only make me assert more vehemently that I am really angry and I am SERIOUS about this.
And, you know what? I have behaved this way in every relationship I have ever been in. This ain't new. My past loves ended for a variety of reasons, but my tendency to fight it out has always battered the relationship. So far, I don't think my significant other and I are in danger of failing. For the most part, our relationship seems solid and we're happy together. But I worry sometimes that he'll wake up in 20 years and think, "If I hear her criticize and pick a fight with me one. more. time. I'll explode."
I worry that by then, it will be too late.
If I didn't know better, I'd think my mother had written that.
Likes to argue? What woman doesn't? I wasn't the freshman debate team captain for nothin'...
I have intentionally started fights before. And so has my husband, although he denies it vehemently.
I found the intro - it's down below the rockabilly midget.
I've done that too, but it's usually when I'm tired...Then I feel like a moron in the morning when I realize I turned what started out as friendly banter into something closer to a fight.
Sometimes there's nothing more satisfying than knowing you can get a rise out of someone. Until it gets out of control (as it tends to do with me) and then I am actually angry and I am actually fighting. Then I feel pretty bad.
Thanks Katrin, got it!
This is why you're in academia and I work with my hands...
This is like that postcard secrets book. I like it!
Oooh ok I'm posting here today what I can't say on my own blog (or commenting anyway).
Everyone in my workplace is a big bunch of non reading, hold my hand for me, I think I'm too good for that because I have a PhD bunch of whiny ass babies!
There, thank you for the space, WM I very much appreciate it.
Boy, for a second I thought maybe I wrote this, too.
I have a bad habit of picking fights, though I don't do it too often. It's really not very nice, but I'm scarily good at it.
It does sound a little like me... but it is not!
Anonymous, Are you sure you're not my older sister? If you are, do you mind if I borrow your red cardigan for tomorrow night? No, seriously.
Anonymous, have you ever thought about taking up kickboxing or karate or something to get the agression out? I have a lot of agression like that and I'm seriously considering taking up kickboxing. Other than that, I'd say if you and your SO have a good enough relationship that you've been able to talk about this in calmer moments, then you're probably going to be good to go, he knows this about you and loves you anyway...Best of luck.
WM, this was a FABULOUS idea! I have something I need to get off my chest, I might need to draft some friends into doing this..
I like to fight, too. Holy shit, my hour drive home (and in) is mostly me SCREAMING horrible things at bad drivers and trying to make them mad.
That chick in the white pontiac who was waving her middle finger out her window, then slammed on her brakes in front of you...because you slowed down in front of her...that was me. I'm sorry. Whoever you are. It's not me, though, it's the rage.
I like your idea, Stacie. That seems very...logical. I really think I have to try that.
My baby has a similar penchant for sudden surges of fury that unexpectedly get channeled on to me. You’re exactly right – sometimes I can maneuver her to a happy place, but I need to emphasize otherwise I get hell for not caring. I try to be magnanimous but also think if I give her free reign it’ll just give her an open ticket to never check herself, so sometimes we battle it out to the ugly end. Usually I get so mad I’m fine to quit her, but then I get over it. I think I know her well enough to see her as a whole, and besides, I’m no angel. Our preacher at Graceland Chapel had good advise – he said to give your woman extra love, even if you think she’s had enough. Simple rule, but sounded profound at the time.
Sorry, I meant "empathize", not "emphasize"!
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