Nothing of substance today, just a few pieces of the shrapnel lodged in my brain today:
1) If I were to start a band, here are a few names I like:
- Westward Ho (also a good hooker name, if you're in the market) (My all-girl group designed to help revive the careers of Courtney Love, Taylor Dayne and Rick Astley)
- Twat Monkey (ditto) (Me and my three Swedish Friends- Gunnar, Ilsa and Jurken- will do ABBA covers in Portuguese)
- Sasparilla Sunrise (this is my 70's style, soft rock group name. We wear knee-high moccasins, prairie skirts and braids and we sing songs with titles like "Natural lovin" or "bathe me in the golden rain of your love")
- Hammertoe (My gay construction-worker death metal group. Our big hit would be "Rivet my beams, weld my joists")
- Louisiana Bungburner (my blues band- our regular gig will be at the Famous Dave's BBQ on Route 5)
- Koolaidcindy von Happypants (for my solo R&B career, I need to tone down Whiskeymarie von Partypants so I can appeal to both the 'Tweens and their Parents. Although, once I am seen in the tabloids making out with various married Actors while wearing no unders, I will change my name back.)
2) I passed by a dead squirrel on the sidewalk for the second time in a week. Neither one was smooshed, bloody, or showing any visible signs of trauma (thank you, "Forensic Files!"). I can only assume, as they both were under trees, that they had committed suicide. I believe we've got an epidemic on our hands here, folks. I took the liberty of setting up a squirrel hotline- you know, someone for them to just talk to, tree rodent to tree rodent. The number is 1-888-IMSQURL. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
3) I've had this song stuck in my head all morning.
Nope, I can't explain it either. If it is still there in a few hours I may very well jump out of a tree myself.
4) I'm about to eat the other half of my dark chocolate-covered marshmallow from Godiva that I bought the other day. Then I'm taking my scary sugar buzz and going shopping.