Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Stealing ideas from other people, instead of stealing prescription medication out of their medicine cabinets again.

Since Gwen (a.k.a "Mrs. Stinkaroo") just did a "random" post, and since she still needs to pay me back for that time I bailed her cats out of jail, I feel perfectly fine stealing the idea from her and doing my own so as to update y'all on what's been going on at Casa de VonPartypants (beyond me googling "dog pudding poo" and "mystery rash" over and over).
  • We finally got carpeting for our stairs, upstairs landing, and guest room. I called Empire (1-800-588-2300 Empire!), and for what seemed like the dowry for a young, blonde virgin from Utah, got carpeting I'm only marginally OK with two business days later. It's just kind of...fine. Oh well, one small step for "Operation Fix this Fucking House", one giant step for capitalism in America. Freedom fries!!
  • I'm on spring break, but I have yet to flash my boobies to college boys or imbibe in a "beer bong". Shameful? Yes. But, maybe for once my spring break won't culminate in a flurry of grainy videos on Youtube. (fingers crossed)
  • I threw a baby shower for my younger sister this past weekend, and my older sister was in town as well. Yes, that shiver that went down your spine about 1:45 Saturday afternoon (Central time) was the Universe trying to figure out what having all three VonPartypants girls in the same room at one time would do to the space-time continuum. Turns out- other than that whole "raining fish from the sky" thing, not much.
  • Today I found a brownie-ish thingy that I had bought for a friend in a pile of stuff on my desk. I think I bought it a month (or three) ago. All I can say is- I need to write whoever made it a letter, because it was still delicious. You can't get e-coli from brownies, right?
  • I recently discovered that it's better to hand-wash your cats, rather than just throwing them in the dishwasher (pisses them off less, anyways):

  • I'm attempting to be as gluten-free as possible. Yes, me. Bread baker, pastry girl, croissant-lover extrordinaire. I guess I'm tired of being bloated, farty, and tired. But you know what? Gluten is freaking delicious, kind of like how crack-topped pizza is delicious. I miss it so very, very much that I still sneak it once in a while. What do you mean, "What was that noise?" It totally wasn't me farting.
  • I think I'm going to take rowing classes on the Mississippi river this summer. I'm more excited about this than you can imagine. The sad thing is, I'm kind of bummed that the classes don't take place at the crack of dawn- whenever I imagine myself rowing on the river, I see it as happening when the sun is just coming up and hasn't heated the river up so you can smell the pig farms upstream. Any of you ever do this (rowing, not pig farming)? Thoughts?
  • If it doesn't rain tomorrow, I'm dragging my boyfriend Dirk (my bike) out and getting him intimately re-acquainted with my ass. Somewhere beneath his muffled screams, I know he still loves me.
  • I can't wait to tell you about that one thing that happened.
  • I don't know why I've been so m.i.a. here. Sorry? I'm guessing it was part writer's block, part winter depression, part not giving a shit, and part me being too busy watching the snow melt to bother. I tried a million times, but truth be told I totally lost interest in this blog thing for a while there. Don't worry- I'm way too narcissistic to quit you. (hugs herself)
I miss you. Once I get through the 391 (not kidding) posts in my reader, you and I should go and get a glass of wine to catch up.
It's been ages, darling. You look as good as I remember you looking. (See how I did that? If you looked like crap you'll still think it was a compliment! Ka-pow!)