Saturday, November 24, 2007

I believe this is what we call "phoning it in"

I am now suffering through the "second wave" of a hangover that has me wishing I would suffer an unfortunate accident wherein I lose the ability to swallow.

If my hangover were a person:

They would steal your lunch then throw the sandwich in your face for having ham rather than turkey.

They would borrow your favorite sweater and throw up jell-o shots on it.

They would put itch powder in all of your unders.

They would change all the clocks in your house so you're late to your Uncle Bob's funeral.

They would cook rich & delicious food for you then buy you cute clothes two sizes too small.

They would poop in your toilet and not flush it while you are on a two week vacation in Quebec.

They would buy seventeen rounds of martinis and let you think it's a good idea to walk home naked & wearing 4-inch heels.

Their name would be Percival Hootenanny and he would win the lottery and not give you one red cent even though you're living in a refrigerator box under a freeway overpass and you donated a kidney to him that one time.

That Percival, he's a real asshole.

I may be hungover, but at least I'm home now. We just drove 2.5 hours and I'm pooped. Let's pick up where we left off tomorrow, o.k? Mommy needs her beauty sleep.



Nocturnal said...

Serious drydock there, hope your ready for battle soon WM.


Katrin said...

Gatorade on a hangover works like holy water on a demon. Try!

Lollie said...

What you really need is an old fashioned 222 from a Canadian pharmacy - a dash of codeine mixed in with a smidgen of aspirin and a pinch of caffeine. Yum! Fix you right up.

Nature Girl said...

Yikes...I had one of those a while back, and it was awful. I'm going to name all of my hangovers from here on "Percival"
Get well soon.

Anna said...

Percival Hootenanny - heh heh.

Fran said...

A warm coke does it for me. Feel better.

feisty said...

i hate your hangover. i think i've met him before.

take care. feel better soon.

domboy said...

Entering my fourth week of sobriety, and I have to say - that sounds like fun! Don't forget to drink a little more when you wake up, to settle yourself.

Gretta said...

Your hangover also refuses to wear a condom. He says it stifles his enthusiasm.

Amaya said...

ooh! Hootenanny is a horrible word! You know how some words just feel like a punch in the gut? Yeah, that's my word. Perfect way to describe a hangover. We hate him.