Monday, July 16, 2007

Technical difficulties

Something's not right here.

Nope, things are just a bit "off", if you know what I mean.

Pants on? Check.

Mascara on BOTH eyes? Check.

Lunch money pinned to jacket? Check.





Then someone tell me what the hell is wrong, because I'm just not feeling "right" at the present moment.
It feels like I'm missing out on a party I never even heard of or would even want to go to.
Or, like I know I have an appointment somewhere for something- but I have no records of it and no one has sent me a postcard with a sad puppy on it that says "don't forget!" like the dentist's office does.

It's unsettling, really. I'm all fluttery- and not in a good, warm & fuzzy kind of way. More in an edgy, I may snap kind of way.

Sorry for the service interruption. We will resume our regularly scheduled programming as soon as we can figure out where the fuck the problem is.


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On a side note- has anyone else come across this ad lately in magazines? All I know is that man makes me unsettled in a very, very good way. And try all you want, there's no way to prove that I licked the picture in my Vanity Fair August issue. The paper is all wrinkly from the humidity, that's all.

15 comments:

Kara said...

Holy guacamole. He's hot! Also tres, tres gay, I'm afeared. Anyone that delicious is gay.

Are you teaching another kiddie class? Or worse--are you preg-naaaaant (as a Columbian NICU fellow used to ask all the women in my residency program)?

Whiskeymarie said...

kara:
Yes to #1.
Dear god, no to #2 (not last time I checked anyways- but at least then I'd have something to blame the bloating on.)

nancypearlwannabe said...

It's the weather. It's totally the weather. This heat and humidity is making everyone batty. Did the licking make you feel any better? 'Cause I will buy a Vanity Fair if licking that ad helps.

Butrfly Garden said...

That damned humidity is to blame for EVERYTHING!

Hope you find out where the fuck the problem is, funny girl.

Courtney said...

huminah... lick away, my friend.

Mair said...

There seems to be another problem: He lacks all semblance of an actual PACKAGE.

Otherwise, rawr.

feisty said...

get thee funk out.

feel better soon.

metalia said...

HAHAHA! I was reading a magazine the other day with the page opened to that very ad, and my friend, looking at it upside down from about 10 feet away, said "What the hell is that? A mountain range?"

In a manner of speaking, yes. Yes it is, indeed.

Lollie said...

I think that it's the perspective of the ad. It makes his cash and prizes look larger than his head. Nice ratio...

T said...

Hang in there, punkin.

Disco and Dexter - Friends at Best said...

they cut off the picture right when your eyes get to the good part!

Whiskeymarie said...

Nic- in the actual print ad the junk is RIGHT THERE. Splayed out.
It's hard not to just stare at it.
So I figure, "why not?"

Failcooks said...

Live "our" fat, ugly etcetera. . .

Failcooks said...

They shouldn't even MAKE people that good looking. Makes the rest of us wonder why we even bother to live or fat ugly lives. Jesus.

Winter said...

Mecca we need the ugly people to make us look all the more beautiful.