Monday, July 9, 2007

Blasphemers, champagne cocktails and moustache wax

Most of my weekend, organized with bullet points for your reading comfort.
  • I saw Sicko on Saturday. The 26-ish guy who sold us our tickets at the mega-stadium-forty-three-screen googolplex in Suburban St. Paul had an old-timey waxed curlicue 'stache and well manicured long fingernails. Hmmm. I am guessing he saves up vacation time at MegaMovieLand in order to train for weekends as "Sir Mustacheride" at the Renaissance Fair every year. I would bet serious cash this guy has a life-sized cut outs of Lord of the Rings characters at home. This guy never ever has had sex with anyone but himself. And, to top it off, the movie made me depressed beyond comprehension. I was fighting back tears of anger, and I looked at the 50-something guy next to me just as he happened to glance over- and he was crying. There is no way to not feel defeated and disheartened after this movie. I'm better now, but I want to riot in the streets. Join me?
  • After the movie, we went to a neighborhood joint for a beer (I was really unsettled from the movie- seriously. I thought alcohol was a good idea). This would have been a nice after-movie reprieve from the heat, except the loudmouth douche at the bar made relaxing entirely impossible. I couldn't enjoy my nachos or 22-oz. frothy brew one bit. Dear Sir Douche- no one gives a shit about your opinion on the "liberal media", your denial of global warming, your views on talk radio, or what a talented but under appreciated athlete you were in high school in 1978. Give it up. This is why your friend sitting next to you would rather watch t.v. with no volume or subtitles than participate in this retarded conversation. This is why that bitch of a wife left you. You. Are. A. DOUCHE.
  • Tonight it rained for a while. Good thing. The heat is turning me into Jack Nicholson a la The Shining. All heat and no cool makes Whiskeymarie a dull girl, all heat and no cool makes Whiskeymarie a dull girl, all heat...I think the Mr. started to worry when I asked him to dance (by himself so I could watch) in the kitchen. Just to entertain me. Tomorrow it is supposed to go back to Spring Break in Dante'ville. I'm starting to lose track of what circle I'm in- I think I'm at the inner ring of the seventh. I'll have to consult my map. Let's see...River STYX (come sail away...) to the left, Harpies to the right...yup, seventh.
  • Today, breakfast at the new Luce' in St. Paul. ONE DOLLAR mimosas. Amen. Does this bargain of a lifetime exist in Duluth? Dear Jeebus, I have found thy blessed diner of the 'morn.
  • My new bangs, while possibly the most perfectly cut forehead fringes of my life, are cursed. I forgot what heat and a sweaty forehead does to them. I look like I washed my hair with K-Y. This is going to be a LOT of maintenance. At least before I had the shorties I could just sweep the greasy front hair back into the perpetual ponytail. Sheesh.
  • Season four of Reno 911. I think I peed a little.
  • This was for dinner Sunday- not the most adventurous thing I've made, but really good nonetheless. Spicy ginger-orange salmon salad:


I thought this might balance out the nachos, Sunday-night cheese plate, beers, wine, baked Doritos (let's stop kidding ourselves, shall we? "Baked" does not absolve this sin, my sweets. It merely refers to the state of mind of the inventor), and other miscellaneous crap consumed this weekend.

All of it, I might add...

Totally worth it.

C'mon, life is too short to eat celery. Seriously.






Hope you all had a good weekend.
(me, kissing you on the cheek hello.)

13 comments:

Mair said...

Those tiny clippy barrettes work wonders for bangs that need to be punished. Like mine, daily.

Nocturnal said...

Damn, you got the full tour on that one. And yes, I agree with you and the fucking heat.

Cheers

Rebecca said...

another movie I haven't even heard of.... I'll have to use my advanced googling skills on this one!

mmm - washing your hair in personal lubricant!! (gosh I hope ky is the same thing in the states as it is here in OZ) nice greasy greasy look!

H said...

I love it when it's hot and finally decided not to care what my hair looks like when temperatures are what they have been. People can look at me and say, "Oh, her hair is awful" but they probably follow it with "Wait, so's mine, it's 900 degrees!" So I just don't worry about it.

Kara said...

Quite the weekend. I have Sicko on my list of things to see this summer. After Bowling for Columbine, I was angry for a week. I haven't been able to work my way to Fahrenheit 9/11 yet because I am already so worked up about that mess that if I see the movie, I might spontaneously combust.

That douche at the bar must have a twin brother in our town. Can't these people move outside their stereotype and do something original?

Stacey said...

All I wanna know is when can I come for dinner ?

Disco and Dexter - Friends at Best said...

note to self: Don't watch sicko when you're depressed.

Nate and I saw a man the other day with a curly mustache twisted toward the sky! I wanted to ask him, "Are you French?" Because really its only okay if you're French. If you're not, or even if you are and you don't have an accent, shave it off!

What.A.Douche.

It rained here today. About time. this 90 degree weather bit isn't cool for us midwesterners.

I wet myself when I read Reno 911. Join the depends club.

Winter said...

Can't believe I paid 10 bucks to sit and watch my Husband weep like a baby during sicko.

I didn't tear up once.

LittlePea said...

Sorry you hate the heat so much. Salad looks delicious. I haven't seen Sicko, but as a cancer patient though, I sort of 'lived' it so I know what you mean. I'm so with you for a health system reform riot-just say when and where, hun. I plan on seeing it soon.

Lollie said...

1) Sicko, also on my list to see. Question: was there a point about 3/4 of the way through just like in the other brilliant Michael Moore movies where he tips the scale and you start to sort of go, now hang on a sec Mikey - that was a little too far/too ridiculous/too self serving?
2) I had Moustachioed Guy on my plane last week! Was there a competition in Vegas we didn't know about?
3) The "talented but under appreciated athlete you were in high school in 1978" said it all. Perfect...seriously, I already know this guy's entire story from your one quote.
4) You have me beat on the 1 dollar Mimosas, however - had the most lovely drink ever (wish I had had it while floating in a pool). Van Gogh coconut vodka, pineapple and mango vodka and mango nectar with a whole orchid floating in the middle of the heavenly cold concoction. Mmmm.
5) My mom and I had a conversation (only slightly uncomfortable) about KY right before I read your bangs bit. I giggled like a 4-year-old!

Stefanie said...

Pizza Luce serves breakfast?? How did I not know this? And $1 mimosas?? Must check this out some weekend soon.

Butrfly Garden said...

Sorry I'm late. Swamped at work and getting up EARLY to catch up on blogs!

I lean a little to the right (not like the douche - I hate the talk radio people - and other stuff) and I HATE Michael Moore, but I've heard so much about the movie that I may see it still. Is he in it a lot?

The whole medical industry (the big shots, anyway) is disgusting. Prescription drugs, frivolous lawsuits - they all suck.

Amaya said...

I can't do bangs for that very reason. I try and try again but every time I "cut bangs" I regret it.