Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Crazy eights

I was tagged by Maurey today to come up with eight interesting things about myself.
Honestly, I don't think there's much left that I haven't already slathered in buttercream frosting and laid out on a chocolate cake for all to consume at this point. I think the only things I haven't covered thus far are maybe the inner workings of my girly parts and maybe the schedule of my bathroom visits.

But really, I don't even find those interesting.

Let's see what I can come up with...

First, the formalities:

1. Post the rules, then list eight things about yourself.
2. At the end of the post, tag and link to eight other people.
3. Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they've been tagged, and asking them to come read the post so they know what to do.

#1) Whenever I run up and down stairs, if no one is looking (well, not directly at me anyways) I hold onto my boobies to keep them from bouncing too much. At a young age, I convinced myself that If I didn't take care of my future lovely lady parts by not aggressively jostling them, they would very quickly look like something out of National Geographic.
I probably, really shouldn't tell people this. But hey.

#2) I love gay dance music.

#3) I hate working, though I like (and, sometimes love) my job. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I would have my notice in by 6:00 a.m. the next day. Fuck work. Life should be about travel, spending time with the people you love and having time to soak it all in. I hate that work takes precious living time away from me. I feel it's supremely unfair that useless pieces of humanity like P. Hilton are handed everything and have no appreciation for it. But then again, life isn't fair and assholes succeed every day. Such is life.
Did I mention that I'm occasionally angry? Yes? Good.

#4) I'm pretty confident, and comfortable meeting new people, but for some reason I struggle with small talk. Sometimes I can't believe the strange things that will come out of my mouth when speaking with someone. I don't even always use complete sentences.
"Well, hello WM! Nice to meet you. I hear you are quite the cook!"
Me: "Nice to meet you too! Yes, um...cook yes real good. Um...oatmeal bread?"
Them: "Ah...well, yes, I see. Your job seems interesting. Do you enjoy it?"
Me: "Yeah, I enjoy it fine just so...good hours, cooking, kitchen monkey. Ha ha ha!"
Them: "I have to go...over there now. Nice to meet you."
Me: "Nice you too. Um...meeting!"

I've learned I can clear a room at a party in 10 minutes flat. Five, if I'm sober.

#5) I have been on only one blind date in my life.
I was at 1st Ave, dancing with a friend of mine next to a group of tall, cute boys. At the end of the night, this tall, dark figure pressed something into my hand and walked away. I didn't even get a look at his face. I didn't bother to look closely at what it was (a matchbook), but had the sense to stick it in my bra.
When I was getting undressed later at home, the matchbook fell out. I picked it up & inspected it a little closer. He had written: "Hi, my name is _______. I just moved back into town, so no phone yet. If you'd like to meet, drop me a note at ________." I was living with someone at the time, but wasn't happy. I waited and mulled it over for a week or so, then dropped him a note with my number. He called, we went out for coffee. It was easily in the top three first dates I've ever had. He was tall, cute and charming. I was smitten.
Long story short, I dumped the BF, made this guy the new BF and we dated for about 1 year before I walked in on him naked, post-coital with this super slutty girl I knew was trouble.
We Broke up, he begged for forgiveness, I took him back, then I cheated on him, then I met my now-husband & we broke up for good.
Started fairy-tale-ish, ended Jerry Springer-ish.

#6) I have never skied- downhill, cross-country or otherwise. I have, up until recently, considered myself more of an "indoor dog" in the winter months. I may consider doing one or both of these in the future. However, downhill may be a bad idea for someone like me, who is about as coordinated as a giraffe on roller skates.

#7) Almost all of my experimentations with illicit drugs have ended badly. While dancing in puddles in my underwear and a leather jacket was fun for like 10 minutes, the 24 hours of nausea and general craziness that went along with this one particular experiment was not worth it. Ditto the other substances. I don't even like the one everyone does- you know which one I'm referring to my little reefer monkeys. Not so much for me.
Know what I'm sayin'? Word.

#8) I worked briefly as a "model" in Minneapolis in the early 90's (no, not the naked kind you dirty little thinkers, you). This mostly consisted of "live modeling" gigs for boutiques and department stores. I am NOT proud of this part of my life. Nope.
I was really bad at it.
Really bad.
But damn, I was skinny.

I know I'm supposed to tag 8 people, but most of you have done this by now. If you want a tag, let me know and I will use my magic wand to bestow the tag on thou.


There you go.

Another installment in Whiskeymarie's adventures in narcissism.

Go forth and prosper, my apple dumplings.


Oh, and I'm making this for dinner tonight. I'll let you know how it is.

Addendum: The Coca (really, just a fancy name for a pizza) was amazing (yes, I caramelized the onions- they're always worth the time).
That crust makes me want to set up a shrine to the gods of pastry. I put goat cheeze on it.
I ate flour and it was worth every freaking bite. Also had a beet salad.
God I love food.


Butrfly Garden said...

hahaha...I hold my girls, too!!

Also, I tried downhill skiing once...while on an illicit drug. That *experiment* ended quite badly...I think they call them "Face Plants"? Maybe? I'm STILL an "indoor dog."

Lollie said...

Sweet Bajeez that looks yummy. No need to tag me, I am going to riff off your 8 things and tell you about my own version of your 8. Like tomorrow maybe.

lucy said...

first Flenker, now you are tempting me with delicious sounding things that i cannot obtain.


P.S. i had no idea "apple dumpling" was such a pleasing pet name...

Stefanie said...

1. I've done that, too. I don't think it helped.

3. Word.

As for your unnumbered, what's for dinner item, I just have to say, um, I had Special K for dinner. Go me.

Rebecca said...

wish I could have one of those bizzaro conversation with you. I could go home and tell my husband how I met a really weird chick who was worse at making small talk than me.

I love your Jerry Springer tale.

And I DON"T know which illicit drug you are referring to. The one everyone loves. sigh. why do I always miss out?

Kate said...

It may have been the bajillion vodka tonics I drank tonight, or it may be that you are SMASHINGLY witty, but I almost fell off my chair laughing tonight.

PS: I love gay dance music too. Exhibit A: "Just Like Jesse James" by Cher. UGH.

PPS: #. AMEN, sister.

Kate said...

That was supposed to be "AMEN #3".

LittlePea said...

I like gay dance music too. I don't have enough boobs to hold on to when running up and down stairs. I could buy some I suppose but I don't think 'those kind' bounce:o)

Whiskeymarie said...

I fear I have given the impression that I have boobs of monumental size.
36 high-B
If I lose any weight = 36 straight B

There y'all go.

Kara said...

I'm an A cup/training bra and still hold my girls. Those National Geographic magazines drive the point home. I just don't want that kind of hang-me-downies. Ever.

The coca looks too excellent. Nice to have another name for pizza since we have it all the time.

Disco and Dexter - Friends at Best said...

How did dinner turn out? ^_^

I was tagged by marybishop. I had to fill out the interesting facts as well. Although I'm not feeling too witty at the moment. Perhaps listening to gay dance music will inspire me.

Whiskeymarie said...

Nic- It was delicious. I skipped the anchovies, though, cause I forgot to get them (and yes, I like them in moderation).

Gay dance music makes everything better.