Here I was, wallowing in my existential mini-crisis.
Without going into details, I'll say that some of it came from a brush with the past that left me feeling a little unsettled and inexplicably shaken.
Some of it comes from the general sort of malaise that seems to hit me this time of year.
Damn summer.
Some of it comes from needing to give my life a little kick in the ass. Love my job (mostly), love the Mr. (even though he can't seem to find the faucet to refill the ice cube trays- ever), love my friends.
It just seems like everything is so predictable lately.
And when I say "everything", I mean "me".
That's all.
Nothing to worry about.
I'm still going to say inappropriate things, wear impractical footwear, drink too much wine and go on loving monkeys as much as I ever have.
Sigh.
Really, I don't know what the fuck the answer is. If I figure it out I'll let you know.
But for the most part, I'm over it and moving on.
I shall wallow no more.
The end.
8 comments:
well a bit of an existential crisis is necessary every so often just so that you can.....um...well....really I'm just talking crap.
Hope you feel better.
Oof. I was JUST thinking about this in my own life. For me, apathy is the first sign of the Big D approaching. And it takes a swift kick in the ass to get over it.
I'd suggest doing something completely out of the ordinary. That generally helps me. I mean, something wacky and weird, something you would NEVER do. My plan? Horseback riding.
Seriously.
Stop laughing. ;-)
I find it interesting that many of us go through this sort of "crisis" collectively. You, abbersnail, myself, and another good friend of mine-- in addition to a friend of a friend have all very recently expressed this kind of general 'discontent,' and maybe low self-esteem issues (for lack of a better way to explain). Maybe its an alignment of the planets sort of deal. Anyone know if Mercury is in retrograde?
Even during a crisis, you manage to stay thoughtful and funny.
You're so fucking cool.
What's the Big D? Divorce? Depression? Divine Intervention?
I was going to suggest that you maybe need something new in your life...like a baby, but then I slapped myself and snapped out of it, much like you said you had at the end of your post.
I tend to get like that before something big happens. It's like my psyche is aware of the impending alteration and prepares me by pointing out how ready I am for a change.
I had one of those mini-existential crises last year when an old boyfriend got back in touch. I started doing all this weird "where would I be now if we had gotten married?" crap. Then I realized, I would be divorced because the guy's an ass and not worth one tenth of my husband.
Now I'm better.
Love YOU.
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