Friday, July 13, 2007

Um...yes and no.

Successes this week:

  • Finished the class with the 5-8 year olds without accidentally killing any of them and without causing anyone to go home and tell Mom that "teacher said a bad word today." When I was done with the final class yesterday, my glee was such that had I been a happy little puppy, I would have been running in circles while simultaneously peeing and barking.
  • I successfully started a new workout program. No, I will not tell you the details as I don't want to jinx it. Suffice it to say that I fully expect to look like this within a few weeks, so I think my expectations are realistic. Wish me luck.
  • Realized that the $1 fat-free frozen yogurt cones at IKEA make me much happier than they really should. Currently working on raising my expectations for happiness.
  • Decided to forgive myself for ignoring the numerous piles of crap currently laying around the house. Also decided that the first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so I consider the fact that I can acknowledge this shortcoming to be a complete success.
  • Signed up to volunteer at the local Salvation Army soup kitchen. No, I'm not kidding. I am a mockery of myself.
  • Managed to look away as I started laughing at the little girl in class this week that boldly declared' "I can lick my toes! Wanna see?" Also, I managed to stop her before she could successfully remove her sandal to demonstrate.

Not so successful moments:

  • Managed to lose my debit card twice in one week. the first time I got it back (left it at a bar the night before whilst drunk with Maurey and the spouses), the second time not so much. I think it was more "stolen" than "lost" the second time. I didn't notice until the next day, but for some reason whoever had it only used it to the tune of about $140 at various gas stations around town. Why they stopped there, who knows? I say, if you're going to steal, don't be so half-assed about it. Dare to be more, my much-despised, thieving, asshole of a foe. Don't be such a quitter next time.
  • Gave myself two very ugly burns on the same arm this week. The little darlings kept tugging on me/screaming/running right when I'd have my arm in the oven, causing me to flinch. I would then spend the next hour gritting my teeth and trying to not emotionally scar the darlings for life. I have named the burns "Cat Girl" and "Joe".
  • Tried to sign up as a potential bone marrow donor at a drive that was being held by a Sorority located by the U. I tried for 35 minutes to find the place, then gave up. I realized when I got home that I had driven by it three times. Hey! Here's an idea- if you want people to participate in your Sororities annual "let's pat ourselves on the back for doing this" community activity, how's about making a sign next time? Bet you had a great turnout, didn't you? I'll try again at the next one somewhere else. I wouldn't trust you idiots with my blood anyways, so there. (Note to self: buy GPS system. Soon. You, Whiskeymarie, YOU could get lost in a round room. Seriously. Get one.)
  • Ended up spending $100 on printing vacation pictures because I lied to my gal Waffle and told her I had already done it. I promised everyone who went on the trip copies and I already have copies from all of them. I like putting things off- and off, and off, and off... She'll be in town tomorrow and the only way to get them in time and cover my lie was to spend the extra $$. No, she doesn't read this, either, in case you're wondering. She has already informed me that she thinks blogs are "gross", and I'm o.k. with that. So, I got away with a lie, which I feel is a success, but I know that to be morally correct I need to put it in this category. Fine, but I'm not happy about it.

Whiskeymarie - 6
Gods of life as a cruel joke- 4


And, I almost forgot to acknowledge that I was voted a "Rockin Girl Blogger" by both Butrfly Girl and Nancypearlwannabe. How very rude of me.
I guess I rock, which I've been told by the elders in the village is a good thing. I will try to live up to the title with every ounce of my being. Wait, no- that's too much pressure. I take it back. I think instead I will try to not screw this up somehow. That, I think I can manage.
Thanks for thinking of me, you sweet things.

On that note...

Rock on this weekend, my little monkey breads, rock on. (Me holding up my hand in the universal "rock lock" salute)


Domestically Disabled Girl said...

wow, we must be starting the same workout plan. if that's the case we'll be twins in a few weeks, as your end result expectation is identical to mine! ; )

hope you have a great weekend my dear!

Jon said...

Congrats on the Rockin Girl Blogger thing. Is that like the Special Olympics, where everybody is a winner? Or do you now have to fight other RGBs to the death, like in Highlander? (There can be only one...)

Butrfly Garden said...

If you look like my girlfriend (hehehe) in two weeks, you'd BETTER tell me what plan you're on!

I've never been to an Ikea. Weird, huh?

Kara said...

Congrats on not killing any children this week. Especially after they made you burn yourself.

Also, a soup kitchen? Wow! That deserves two points in the success column. I mean, it's something I have always thought was a worthy cause, etc. etc., but I can't imagine actually slipping on the hair net and picking up the ladle.

Amaya said...

I'm going to sound like such a geek - but when someone steals a credit card the first thing they do is check to see if it works by trying it at place where PIN numbers aren't used and where they won't have to be embarrassed if it doesn't. Sounds like the person who stole your card was really nervous. What a newbie!