Thursday, May 1, 2008

Damn squirrel is lodged in my brain again. Mabel! Call the exterminator!

  • For whatever reason, I've had the sentence "Oops, I crapped my pants" stuck in my head for a few days now. I'm wondering if this is some sort of warning I should be heeding, or if at some totally inappropriate moment I am just going to blurt this unfortunate sentence out for no good reason at all.
  • I have gotten up early and worked out almost every day for the last 2 weeks. Something is seriously wrong with me. Send help. And cookies. Lots of cookies.
  • I ate peanut butter and jelly on toast last night for dinner. In my apparent quest to eat like a twelve year-old, tonight I will be eating gummy bears and string cheese, washing it all down with 3 Red Bulls.
  • I've been listening to the Morphine album "Yes" over and over lately. The song "Whisper" makes me want to do very naughty things. Very.
  • I have 8 days of work left before I get a lovely 2+ week break. Yes, I'm gloating. Bask in the glory of my gloatacular gloat, non-gloaters.
  • On the aging front (and yet another moment where I tell you waaay more than you want to know)- last night I had that moment. I found a gray hair.
    Guess where:


I don't want to talk about it.

Getting old sucks smelly, hairy, droopy donkey balls.

24 comments:

Perfectly Shelly said...

I ate Trix cereal last week for dinner! And gin.

Gray hair? Where you say? Don't color it....who knows what may happen.

Work Out? What's that?

2 week vacation? What's That

Naughty things? Like prank call people? Like drinking milk right out of the carton? Like using candy cigaretts as if they were REAL? Have fun!

gorillabuns said...

$8.00 and a box of Clariol will fix up that problem in no time!

CDP said...

I loved that SNL commercial, now I'm going to be thinking about that line all day. I loved the part where the old lady says "wow, that's a lotta dung."

Christy said...

Getting old DOES suck! I haven't found any gray hairs you know where yet, but I have started to get aches & pains in places I thought only 80 year olds had. Since I am only 35, it is COMPLETELY uncalled for.

My sympathies on your...um...discovery.

T said...

Yeah, "Oops, I crapped my pants" is a classic. It NEVER gets old. I laugh myself silly EVERY TIME.

Ahhhh ...

I feel your getting-old pain. No hair going gray yet, but there is getting to be an alarming amount of it.

Gwen said...

Ooooh! Gray in the naughty bits. That does suck. Now I want to go check mine.

dguzman said...

Well, there's THAT question answered. I was wondering about that, now that I'm getting grays on my head at age 43. Perhaps I should check...

...or not. Um... can one use Grecian Formula down there?

L Sass said...

I love being blond. WAY harder to spot grey hairs on any part of your physique.

Sornie said...

I had never even thought of grays in the crotchal areas.

kirby said...

Grays in the crotchal region are shocking, but it could be worse. My husband had a gray hair hanging out of his nose this morning.

Stacey said...

Damn, my link won't work. Anyhoo, I did see by doing a simple Google search that you can buy dye specifically for the pubes. And in a neat fun kind of twist you can actually make it different colors. Now tell me , how much more fun could you have ?

Failcooks said...

Well, you know what they say about Pamela Anderson. . . Her natural color? Bald. Completely Bald.

And that song? Naughty. Really, really naughty.

Suze said...

My dear friend, WM, all I can say is "wait until you hit your 40s".

Ghost Dansing said...

numbers

John said...

You really are socially retarded aren't you. ; )

The "Whispers" chick isn't dressed in blue. And they look like they're discussing an insurance seminar. Although I DID manage to imagine YOU doing VERY nasty things Whiskey. Very.

Is this blog in another dimension?

Love from Virginia, Earth.

diatribes and dish said...

Unfortunately, exercise may keep parts of one's body looking younger, but I don't think it has any effect on the hairy nether regions.

Red said...

Evil Genius mentioned something called Auburn Betty to GkL when she was talking about getting a red dye job. Apparently it also comes in Brown Betty and Blonde Betty and is meant to take care of that little problem. Still, my sympathies on having it.

Nature Girl said...

I'm not sure how to console you, or if it's even appropriate to do so. On the other hand...you have a vacation coming up. Yay for vacations!
Stacie

McGone said...

I am just going to blurt this unfortunate sentence out for no good reason at all

If you keep up the diet like you discussed in this post, it's pretty easy to imagine a good reason.

lizgwiz said...

Sadly, I am way past shock over finding a gray hair anywhere. Sigh.

I had a whole day a few weeks ago where I ate like a kid. I can't even remember what I ate, though I think mac-and-cheese figured in there somewhere, and at the end of the day I thought "what am I, 6?"

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Note to self: Play song "Whisper" a lot if you ever get to meet WM in person and if her hubby is not with her.

Lara said...

Oh, how I love me some Morphine. I've always had a special place in my...heart...for Hanging on a Curtain and Swing It Low, both on Like Swimming.

Katrin said...

I've found a white hair in that area a long time ago. They'll disappear sooner or later. No worries!

domboy said...

I love that Morphine album. You gotta pluck that hair before anyone finds out.