When I win the lottery (and you know I will), I will have nothing but free time to post about how my butler had the nerve to polish the gold-plated walls with bargain gold polish, or I will tell you about how myself and the Countess DePoontaner shared a larf over poor people actually filling their own gas tanks when the rest of us have Oompa Loompas to do such things.
But until then, I will be toiling away at work like a jackass, and having a busy busy busy week that leaves me with little to no time to spend with y'all.
You will have to wait a few days for more exciting posts.
Some of the possible topics I will be covering then:
"Does this smell funny to you?
"Whiskeymarie's all pork diet. Eat your way to a swarthier complexion!"
"Did I ever tell you about that time at the butt doctor?"
"How to make dinner using only an onion, gummy bears, Cap'n Crunch and vienna sausages."
"Easy & fun surgical procedures to try at home!"
"Losin' it: the WM virginity chronicles"
"Watch me stick inanimate objects in my nose!"
"The Whiskeymarie summer olympics! Saint Paul '08!"
The anticipation is killing me too...
Happy Wednesday, my little honey-coated chubby and adorable bumblebees. Happy Wednesday.
Oh, and p.s- Thank you ALL for the lovely b-day messages & e-mails. Man, I love you guys.
I am pretty sure we've seen the inanimate objects in the nose thing here before, I seem to remember a wine cork up there at one point. You should maybe start a series! Or a dedicated blog to just that!
Could you do the "Easy & fun surgical procedures to try at home!" first, because I'm hoping you can help me with a couple.. projects I have at the moment. WebMD and Wikipedia have been just no help at all.
Maybe you could combine a few of these into one post for thrice the entertainment
Here I'll help you out since you're pressed for time:
- Did I ever tell you about that time at the butt doctor where he asked "does this smell funny ?" To which I answered " It's my all pork diet...sure my ass may not smell good but damn doesn't my swarthy complexion look fine "
Heh, you didn't know I had that kind of talent, didja ?
Next time someone asks me what I'd do if I won the lottery, I am totally going to say "Hire myself some Oompa Loompas."
All those topics are winners. I demand post about each.
I think you and I are following the same published all pork diet.
Speaking of funny smells . . . I just checked into my hotel room here in San Fran and I can't decide if the room smells or if it's my feet. I guess I could bend over and check.
It's my feet. Dammit.
I can't wait to hear about the butt doctor!
Oooh, I want to go on the all pork diet. Specifically, BACON.
"virginity chronicles"? How many times do we get to lose it? Does this have something to do with the home surgeries? Can you restore my dignity too?
Oh sweet jeezus. I'm just catching up on past posts and you mean to tell me that I dogged you on YOUR BIRTHDAY??? CRAP. I suk as a friend.
I? Am totally fired.
hehheh. I so love your retardedness.
P.S. - your G****mn word verification is making me type in "antxzcww" #@@#%###!!! Stupid Blogger has not implemented my program yet!
I've been a really lame blogfriend the last week or so WM, but i wnated to say Happy Birthday. A bit belated. Sorry about that. Here's something to make you feel better about turning 37. You're younger than me. By almost 2 years! Yay for younger than me!
I want to see the WM Special Olympics!
Errr, I mean Summer Olympics. :)
Shit! Your bad posts are better than my good ones. Now you've made me go all competitive and jealous.
how can you follow
"losin' it: the WM virginity chronicles"
"watch me stick inanimate objects in my nose"
J from "J and D"
I keep saying an excellent "Iron Chef" spinoff would be to have chefs try to make a full meal out of the things in my kitchen. That fourth one sounds like you'd be an excellent candidate for the show!
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