Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Breakin' 2: electric booger-boo.
When little fluffy bunnies frolic amongst the tulips, and you can almost smell the love in the air.
When you feel as if a colony of breakdancing ants has taken up residence in your nasal cavity and they are choosing today to "throw it down old-skool style while getting their pop-n'-lock on".
I've had them as long as I can remember- from when I was a sniffly, red-nosed eight year-old using her mitten as a kleenex- to now, when I am a sniffly 36 year-old using only the finest tissues (or occasionally a sleeve, or toilet paper, or paper towels, or mittens, or dish towels) to blot the snot.
April and May are the worst for me- this morning my regimen consisted of prescription eye drops to help me NOT look like I suffer from the blinking portion of Tourette's and/or a 19 year-old stoner, prescription nose spray that reduces my sense of smell to such a level that the only things that even blip on the radar are the interiors of sewage treatment facilities and rotting corpses, and the now over-the-counter drug Zyrtec, which has caused me to develop a minor- yet annoying- case of narcolepsy.
I also supplement with the occasional dose of Visene to get the red out, and Benadryl, which occasionally induces what I like to call "minor comas".
Oh, and I'm on a strict regimen of the tried and true prescription called "vodka"- just for fun.
I've got red eyes, a red & flaky nose, and I occasionally launch into sneezing bouts that cause all animals within a mile radius to start howling.
Damn if I don't feel sexy.
On a related note:
My weekend was good. Busy, lots of eating out, lovely houseguests that clean up after themselves, quality cat time and, oh yeah, the Kids in the Hall- LIVE!!!
To prove I was there:
No, I totally agree. My picture-taking-at-a-live-show skills suck. I had a martini and a vodka tonic in me at this point, cut me some slack.
But the show was awesome, I ran into a ton of people I know, and I wish the KITH would just get back together and have another TV show already. Dammit.
Seeing them reminded me of one of their skits, which I constantly quote because I'm totally not a geek. And, it seems strangely appropriate given my condition today and how my eyes feel.
Take three minutes and enjoy:
Happy Tuesday, my crusty yet squishy little nuggets of eye boogers. Happy Tuesday.