So in a further effort to bring you all one step closer to coming to the doctor with me for my yearly, I thought I 'd go ahead and let you do what you know you'd do anyways if I invited you over for vodka, cake and competitive Yahtzee:
Go ahead, take a peek into my medicine cabinet.
You know you want to. I'd totally look in yours, given the opportunity.
C'mon- just take a quick peek- I didn't add anything, take anything out or even hide the drugs.
The cabinet itself is old, old, old. It is rusty, small and obviously not big enough. There is room for about 1/8 of my products, which makes me 7/8 more frustrated every damn day. If you look closely, there is a slot in the back that is labeled as a place to dispose of your old razor blades. But when we looked closer, we realized that basically the blades would get deposited into the wall itself. How odd. We are gutting the bathroom this summer, so I am fully prepared to find hundreds of rusty razor blades tucked into the wall. Again- how odd.
Top to bottom, a rundown of what's in there:
Top shelf, (l to r): old refillable perfume atomizer, behind that- a bottle of "Elvis" cologne I bought the Mr. as a joke a bajillion years ago. It smells like sweaty Elvis after a whole mess of peanut butter & banana sammies. Next, Allergy eye drops, Monkey band-aids, anti-gas pills (you laugh, but let me tell you- there is nothing you are more grateful to have after Mexican food and a few beers. Nothing.), Aveda lip gloss, Muscle relaxers (bet you thought I was always joking about those, huh?), Aveda makeup remover, Ativan (kind of like Valium lite) for when I fly, blister relief pads (these work wonders), two boxes of band-aids and a mini first aid kit for travel.
Middle row: Tinted moisturizer (Cover Girl) and a really old bottle of CoCo. Behind that, a bottle of perfume from Agnes B. that looks like those Russian nesting dolls and smells delicious and girly, Stick makeup for concealing flaws (as if I have any!), some Revlon makeup I hate and should toss, Victoria's Secret lip balm (not great, not bad), some crappy Revlon lip stain that I hate but haven't tossed, prescription eye drops, Agnes B. apricot complexion enhancer (Agnes B. no longer sells cosmetics in the U.S. so I am clinging to every last bit of this miracle cream), Too Faced lip gloss that looks amazing and tastes like cinnamon, miscellaneous eye shadows (Bibo, Clinique), Aveda toner, Cover Girl loose powder, Neosporin, and Nude colored Revlon Cream blush that I adore.
Bottom: three kinds of floss, Prescription nose spray, Crest toothpaste, anti-baby medication and some lemon-flavored toothpaste that I like but only use once in a while because it seems weird to not have your toothpaste be minty, but it's great to use if you're going to be eating right away as it doesn't interfere with the taste of food as much.
Close-up of my monkey band-aids:
I save them for "special occasion" cuts and burns.
I tiny peek at the horror that is my bathroom. I'll show you "before", "during" and "after" shots when the demolition starts, but here you can see the lovely color scheme: rust and vomity "flesh" color.
Tomorrow I'll let you peek into my sock drawer, and if you're good I'll show you my pantry, baby. Uh-huh. Oh yeah.
Happy Friday, my primped, preened and coiffed little monkeys. Happy Friday.