Friday, April 4, 2008

Suck it, Rembrandt.

This morning, while out and about, I saw the most amazing thing. The kind of thing that never, ever just WALKS on by casually. The kind of thing that you see as stock footage on "Dateline". The kind of thing that makes you look twice and realize how happy you are to be alive and on a planet where these sorts of life-changing events take place.

The kind of events, that, if one were smart enough to put one's camera in one's damn purse then one could take a photo of the event for y'all.

But, OH FREAKING NO, I could not have the foresight to put my camera in my purse, so here is my best artistic re-creation of:

Two 60-70-something identical lady-twins with matching haircuts and outfits, matching bags, matching shoes and same exact body shape crossing the street today, walking in stride with one another:

I know, I'm wasting my time with this cooking thing- surely talent like this should be put on display!

I figured, why stop there? A talent like mine needs to be freed! Fly free my colored pencils! Go forth and create beauty for all!

Now (drumroll please), I give you-

The 2-liter of Mt. Dew wedged in the shrub in front of my neighbor's house:

And, what I consider one of my finest works-

Airborne Pooter playing with feathered thingy on a string attached to a stick that Whiskeymarie is wiggling back and forth over her head:

I've been moving in a bit of a different direction with my art these days. A little more minimalist, if you will. Years after I am dead and gone, art historians will refer to this as my "spirograph period".


A study of wiggly circle-y thingies in blue and black:

Signed copies are available in the museum gift shop.

And, just think- you'll be able to say, "I knew her when".

Happy Friday, my little stick figures drawn on candy wrappers & splattered with squirrel feces in a protest of "conventional" art.

Happy Friday.



Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Thanks for a glimpse of yet another side of Madam WhiskeyMarie.

Flenker said...

I'll hire you to illustrate my yet-to-be-written novel, as well as TPoL. I think we need some new life in there, and you have the talent to do it

Flenker said...

your first assignment: draw Flenker sporting the "Friendly Mutton Chop."


Fran said...

When I first got out of college in 1979 (yes, I am that old dammit!) and started to work in Manhattan, there were twins in the 60-ish age range that I would always see.

The people in my office and I would call them the "twinsies" - they were identical right down to nailpolish and jewelry.

It was kind of freaky but I wish I could see your rendering of them!

As for your art, I look no further. Why go to museums? Why buy art?

I can just click away here into eternity - such work of great beauty.

You put the ass in aesthetics. Oh wait. There is no ass there, is there?

dguzman said...

Thank goodness I can click to enlarge, then print out on recycled office paper (I like the recycled paper you used as well--is that from the hotel in NOLA, or perhaps your work?). Then straight to MJDesigns for custom framing!

Those twins are creepy.

Christa said...

i am legitimately, in a non ironic way, a fan of the mountain dew bottle in the bush photo.

abbersnail said...

I totally want a copy of the "you and Pooter" masterpiece.

McGone said...

You capture action very well. Pooter looks positively thrilled with the contraption she is playing with. And yet her eyes contain the lunatic dead stare of all felines.

I'm going to print this out and put it on my fridge.

CDP said...

You should have a contest to see who gets these works (signed of course, because I'm just thinking long-term investment value).

nancypearlwannabe said...

Yay, Spirograph! I need to retrieve my set from my parents' house.

Stacey said...

You know, I'm not sure you should take any more digital cam pictures.

Those just won't cut it anymore now that you've displayed your amazing artistic side.

H said...

I'm looking forward to your rendition of Flenker's friendly mutton chops, that's for damn sure.

Lisa said...

You crack me up!

Stefanie said...

Ha! Airborne Pooter is definitely my favorite.

Also, I have a photo of my grandma and her twin sister on their 90th birthday sitting beside each other wearing identical shirts. They didn't make a habit of dressing the same, but that picture is always a little eerie to me.

domboy said...

Wow, that Mountain Dew in the shrub, I feel like I was really there.

Iheartfashion said...

Masterpieces all! Love the twins!

Freida Bee, MD said...

You are quite the Pootler, I mean doodler.

-the froodler

pistols at dawn said...

Brilliantly executed. If only you could embrace the medium of watercolor.

Wide Lawns said...

You just captured it all so perfectly. First the older lady hairdo, then the exact shade of a mountain dew bottle and last the spazzedness of a kitty with the feathered thingy on a string.You should draw more often!

gorillabuns said...

I think you need to do a book of illustrations called, "pooter and me."

I think it would be a hit!

tobacco brunette said...

How much for "Mountain Dew Wedged"?

surviving myself said...

my favorite is the wiggly circle-y thingies. I'd like to buy this.

I am willing to offer you $1.47 and a pack of Newports.

Please let me know.

Landis said...

you know, this is JUST like
abstract expressionism.


without the expressionism.