Several relatively minor things:
1) When did I become "in control" of the "space-time continuum" I am associated with?
2) When did Saturn get so interesting?
3) Who trimmed my nether regions in such a haphazard and obviously drunken manner?
4) Is 4 glasses of wine too much?
5) Should I be as impressed with my shoes as I am right now?
6) Why do cat farts smell like cat food, but most people farts smell like garlic and onions?
7) Why does Ryan Seacrest have a viable career???
Help me, Obi-wan, you're my only hope.
Happy whatever the hell day this is..., my sweets.