Saturday, April 19, 2008

Does this count as a hand job?


Last night we drove over an hour north to go here to see Martin Short's one-man show.

Holy balls, he is even funnier live than I thought possible. He sang, there were many costume changes, he danced, he got a little political and every time he said the word "Hinckley" I giggled a little.

My favorite song he sang was "Springtime makes me want to cheat on my wife."

After the show, we were super hungry, so we went to dinner at a "steakhouse" in the casino. We are nothing if not kultured and klassy. Everyone that worked there appeared to be under the age of 15. It was odd.

As we were waiting for our table, I noticed the piano player from the show, who had just walked in with a very petite man. They were told their table would be a minute or two, so they both turned to sit in the bar.

Martin Freaking short- hello!

He was very friendly to everyone and stopped at a few tables in the bar to chat with people who had been at the show. We were sitting at the bar, so I missed out on this. I decided I needed a real "brush with fame" story, so I decided to just walk up to him and be the gross fan and gush a bit. Unfortunately, I neglected to notice that he was on his cell phone as I approached the table. His friend just looked at me like I was a circus freak and Mr. Short was probably thinking "Why can't these podunk hee-haws just LEAVE ME ALONE?"
I didn't want to bug him, so I just mimed/asked if I could shake his hand, and he reluctantly obliged.
So, to sum up:
I SHOOK MARTIN SHORT'S HAND LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

(he has very tiny hands and I could have crushed his with my brawny man-paws if I wished to do so. He made me feel like a giant.)


I am so very, very lame. Nerd alert!

Someone get me a life, stat.

I love you, Mr. Short.
XO

18 comments:

H said...

That is AWESOME. You should have one of those "This is my Grand Casino story" commercials, with a reenactment.

EmBee said...

I once chickened out on a chance to paw Donny Osmond on the streets of NYC... *shaking head* I'll always regret it... Dude, he was walking RIGHT beside me!!!

Good for you for livin' the dream... Um, however embarrassing it might've been.

kirby said...

He'll probably invent a new character based on you.

Fran said...

Total hand job- a veritable happy fucking ending sister. And while he was on the cell phone, makes it even hottah!

As for EmBee's comment- it reminds me that I did meet Donny Osmond- in 2002. He was without a doubt one of the very nicest people that I have ever met.

One day I may blog about it, but it is part of a crazily long story about a man with the surname of Woodcock, and said man's propensity for shouting out his last name like this "Wood-pause-COCK, Wood-pause-COCK!"

Jenny said...

Hinckley! I giggled that you giggled. I'm a former Minnesotan. You are a riot.

Gunfighter said...

Remind me to tell you, WM, about the time I was almost killed by Tip O'Neil.

Distributorcap said...

did you wash your hands yet?

Lollie said...

A Short hand-job, but a hand-job nonetheless.

I really wanted to say somethng to Sharon Stone when I saw her on Rodeo Drive, but to be honest with you, she scared me too much.

John said...

He was just here in my town a few weeks ago. He's a little too over the top for me (kinda like Robin Williams) but I'm glad you had a good time. I do remember well and LOVE his Ed Grimley character from SNL - what a hoot! Did he do Ed? That Pat Sajak IS a handsome man, I mus' say! - Ha!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Too cool for words. And by that I mean your 'brawny man paws," not your getting to meet Martin Short.

Utah Savage said...

I with the brawny man-paws. Great piece. I too have an Osmond story living in Utah as I do. I used to be Marie's personal shopper. Good can that woman buy clothes! Expensive, flashy, tacky clothes by the boatload.

As I was an actor for awhile met many actor celebs. Mostly nice, hardworking folk. But while working on Touched by an Angel (which we in Utah of the acting ilk called Touched by an Angle) had many occasions to spend a moment at craft services with Roma Downey, or however the fuck she spells her name, and found her to be a most boring, nose in the air, snob. To give her a little latitude, she was stuck in Utah for fucking ever. Della Reese, however, was a gas. She spent her down time shopping in thrift stores.

CDP said...

I love Martin Short, I'm glad I got to shake his hand vicariously and virtually through you.

Mnmom said...

Great story! I once grinned at Gallagher in the lobby of a Madison WI hotel - that's my brush with fame.

3carnations said...

I find the fact that you annoyed a celebrity at least as cool as the fact that you shook his hand. Does that make me strange? :)

dguzman said...

Is Brawny Man-Paws going to be Dr. Monkey's porn name?

Landis said...

um. creep. i. o.

Freida Bee, MD said...

I knew your miming skills would come in handy one day.

I rang up Jonathan Demme's groceries and gave KD Lange and her girlfrind directions to a liquor store.

Tori said...

Lol, we all love teh Short. He is small? Fun fun! I'm so jealous of you. *envy envy envy*