Thursday, January 24, 2008

Dating, mating and Whiskey: the 80's.

Once upon a time- somewheres around 1988, to the best of my recollection- I managed to get to second (or third? Shit, I don't know what the rules are concerning this anymore) (O.k, I just checked- I guess it was third on one count, third+ on the other) with two brothers in the same year.
I was even going to use their real names, but I just checked and realized that one of them is currently serving as a city council member for one of the larger Twin Cities suburbs, so I guess I'll play nice and change them.

I was 16 or 17 when this all started at a little place called "Faces". I have briefly mentioned Faces before, but for the sake of argument I'll recap:
Faces was an all-ages "nightclub" in the lovely city of Duluth, MN in the late 80's and, I think, very early 90's. They had different theme nights, with "New Wave Night" being the favorite among me & my friends. New Wave Night was AWESOME. All of the kids we thought were so very cool at the time went to it, and it was a most excellent chance to show off new clothing ensembles and ridiculously uncomfortable recently purchased shoes from London that we had to special order with money saved from babysitting or mowing lawns.
Unfortunately for us, New Wave Night fell on a weeknight, so getting permission to go & getting someone to drive us the 20-25 minutes it took to get there was very often equal to, or slightly harder than, getting our parents to grant us the ability to wear a thong and pasties to church.

So when we did go, we made the most of the situation.

Many a New Wave Night launched off with us smuggling cans of warm beer or flasks of whatever into the club- initially in our bags, but once they started checking bags & patting people down for contraband we brilliantly thought to stash the offenders in our unders.
No one EVER checked there. We thought we were criminal masterminds. One caveat: try walking normally with a beer or small flask stuffed in your unders, nudged against your bits.
Not so easy.

There were two brothers that hung out, to varying degrees, with many of the same people we knew. Tom, the intellectual older brother, was a couple of years older than we were, and he and his younger skateboarder brother Tim went to the local catholic high school up on the hill.
I had been dating a classmate of theirs at this point that we'll call Crew Cut. Crew Cut and I had been dating for a while (maybe 6-8 months) and I was the lucky woman who could lay claim to being the dragonslayer that had won the virginity of Sir Crew Cut.
Thus- Crew Cut had convinced himself that I was indeed the sole inventor of fornication and his clinginess grew exponentially each time we made the unfortunate beast with two backs.
(From this relationship on, I vowed to never again be "that girl". No more virgins for me- the pressure is just too much.)

Crew cut had recently graduated, and he made the unfortunate decision to go to college in Wisconsin, 2+ hours away from where we lived.
That fall- well, pretty much the same instant Crew Cut got in the car with all of his dorm gear and mutterings of "I love you baby, we'll be together forever. This long-distance thing won't matter a bit"- I decided to start making up for lost time.

One New Wave Night very soon after my "boyfriend" left town, Tom (the older brother) and I started getting very cozy in a corner of the club. We decided we needed privacy, and our drunken (very drunken) teenage behinds decided to go across the street to Leif Erickson Park to frolic and such. Right there- in the middle of the park- we shamelessly got to third++ that night.
Unfortunately for Tom, I was really more interested in his younger (and in my opinion), slightly cuter brother, Tim. (Tim was a year or so younger than me, but I figure since we were all under 18 no crimes were committed.)

I pretty much lost any interest I had in Tom and moved on to Tim like only a 17 year-old cougar can. I mercilessly hit on him, called him, and tried to wear skater-girly things I thought he'd like. I instantly hated any girls that spoke to him and mentally clawed their heavily rimmed in black eyeliner eyes out.

Eventually, Tim gave in. I think I just wore him down, truth be told.

We met up downtown one Saturday afternoon, as that was the routine: Thursday night was New Wave Night, Saturday afternoon was hanging out downtown Duluth, rummaging through The Last Place on Earth (no Electric fetus yet)and Global Village, stopping occasionally for a burger at McDonald's. Saturday afternoons you were guaranteed that most of the area's punkers/new wavers/skaters/etc... would be hanging out- smoking, being angsty and committing minor acts of civil disorder and such.
After an afternoon of "wanna get a coke?" and "um, yeah" we decided to have a proper date.

We agreed upon a movie (maybe this one?) of some sort and arranged a double-date with my girl Waffle and (I think, can't really remember) her boyfriend Scooter.

A movie was seen, and a post-movie "get together" was arranged at Scooters now-razed kind of dingy apartment on 2nd Street.

Stilted conversation was had, schnapps and Mickey's was consumed, and before you could say "Rock Lobster" Tim and I were making out hot and heavy in the coat closet.

A few days later, I got a call from Tim.

He seemed concerned that I was still technically "dating" Crew Cut. I technically still had a "boyfriend".
My "boyfriend" was technically kind of a lug and could possibly pound Tim into a bloody, whimpering mass of goo.

He was unashamedly scared shitless for his safety should we continue dating.

We ended our brief, yet torrid, closet affair that day.


I wonder if they ever discussed "that slut Whiskeymarie" over the Christmas ham at the Tom and Tim family home.

Poor boys, they had no idea what they were getting into.


And, if you have a second- go over and say a big-assed CONGRATULATIONS to my favorite girl Lollie, who is officially knocked up, a.k.a preggers.

She's earned it.


wafelenbak said...

Man, I love that photo!! It's the classic 90's "I wish I was Robert Smith or in a cool grunge band" hairdo!

punchlinewalking said...

Oh god...this brings back way too many high school memories. I can't remember the name of our underage club- but I distinctly remember drinking six packs of Zima in the parking lot before going in to find someone to make out with. Great stuff!

nancypearlwannabe said...

Schnapps and a coat closet: sigh. Young love.

Landis said...

oh lord.

you had 99 problems, and bro wasn't one of em.

3carnations said...

Quite a story. Which one made City Council? I'm guessing Tom.

We had an all ages nightclub, too! The only luck I ever had there in meeting someone was also kind of tangled - I found a boyfriend there. I first met him with 2 of his friends. After he dumped me, I was involved very briefly with one of the friends and then the other pursued me to no avail. I wasn't going to get involved with all 3 of them consecutively, ha! Actually, friend number 3 was just annoying.

Kate said...

landis smithers, I don't know what you mean by that, but you leave my girl WM alone, ya hear? WORD.

Anyway, was Faces in the basement of the Plaza? Like, downstairs from Jubilee?

My old church held services in the summer at Leif Erickson park. :)

Whiskeymarie said...

wafelenbak- (great name, BTW) I have piles of these photos. Piles.

NPW- The schnapps/closet combo was maybe a touch less trashy than the beer/back seat combo.

PLW- Zima! Ha!! We consumed gallons of wine coolers from 2-liter bottles too. Classy.

Landis- Holy shit, you make me laugh. I knew you'd LOVE my grad pic. Even me, girl with no shame, even I knew it was a doozie.

Kate- Landis is only poking fun at my atrocious grad photo, as well he should. Glad you've got my back though.
Yes, Faces was that place in the basement of the Grocery store, sad as that is. And now I feel like I've desecrated hallowed Leif Erickson ground with my semi-nudity. Pray for my soul.

3carn- Oh, what tangled webs we wove in our youth...

CDP said...

I had a very similar haircut in my hs graduation picture. It looked better on you. "New Wave"...oh, the nostalgia! (Landis' comment cracked me up, too.)

LaLa said...

That photo... that photo! You were clearly one of those cool kids. I'm from the same era but my photo looks more like Rita Hayworth from the prairies.

dguzman said...

Holy shit, you were so freakin' hawt. I would totally have had a clueless-baby-dyke crush on you and would've wanted to be your best friend.

Suze said...

While you had a "cool and fashionable hair style", I had my hair permed out to rival Diana Ross. Sigh...I wish you were my mentor in high school instead of now.

Whiskeymarie said...

What Jon said.

Whiskeymarie said...

Funny- looking back, the words "cool" and "fashionable" do not come to mind when I look at my many, many odd hairstyles & haircolors.
Or my eyebrows.

Jon said...

Wow. With hair like that, who wouldn't want to take you to a public park under the cover of darkness.

Stacey said...

Oh WM...if only we would have known each other then.

And Tim looks remarkably like my freshman year homecoming date Sean whom I had the biggest crush on and at the time we only went as friends because he liked another friend of mine *sigh*

Oh the drama that is adolescence.

Ok, there is a part of me that misses the late 80's.

And yeah I did say it.

Oh and damn Landis Smithers for quoting Jay-Z lyrics. Now, I will have that song/rap in my head forever...and it wasn't even one of his finest.

NotSoccer Mom said...

heh! love that photo of you. i did something VERY similar with two brothers back in the 70s... seems the younger bro is often the cuter! :)

McGone said...

Nice Mickey's shout-out. I used to rock the Mickey's Big Mouths back in the day. I was convinced they gave you superhuman strength (read: Beer Muscles). But I was a long haired no-good punk, so what did I know?

I should share those pictures sometime. Maybe after a 12er of Mickey when my judgement is good and cloudy.

Melissavina said...

I love it! That haircut and the Mickeys and the angsty teens hanging out downtown. It's perfect. Great post. I am now depressed that I didn't have a "New Wave Night" to go to.

diatribes and dish said...

The photos .... wow. Just .... wow.

Christa said...

based on your hair and that cute lil skater boy, i'd say you were living my late 80s dream life.

Nature Girl said...

Boy oh boy did that post bring back some memories..Those hairstyles (yours rocked! LOL) and those clothes...the wine coolers, funny!

gorillabuns said...

man, i totally admire a girl going after what she wants and while i'm sure younger bro was hot, he was a wimp! he doesn't know what he was missing by freaking out.

and the picture? reminds me a little of molly ringwald in "pretty in pink." you know the jewels and the hair color but you had way more attitude!

Anonymous said...

Another great post. I do love that necklace! I adore all rhinestone baubles! Used to wear mine every day to work.


Anonymous said...

PS Wonder what the council guy would think if you called to say hello?!


Nocturnal said...

Definitely new wave there WM, you had Depeche Mode and New Order written all over you.


LittlePea said...

He's cute. I so understand.

Butrfly Garden said...

Yeah. He's fricken hot. Awesome skater hair.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Holy crap I love stories like this. I love reading about the whole dating/sex thingy from the female point of view. And especially when it's written by a wit such as yourself. Holy shit, I was cackling so loud the neighbors must have heard me.

Shannon Erin said...

He was quite the adorable little skater-boy.

I LOVE your hair! And the jewelry! You were fantastic even then.

Inarticulate Fumblings said...

Sweet! Love this post. Love the picture. How many lawns did you have to mow for that necklace?

I'll see if I can get my mother to send out some photos I can scan. I'll give you a run for your money in the 'oh sweet mother of god' category.

Think afro, chubby, acne, stiff baseball cap perched on the back of my head (because I had too much hair for it to actually fit) and a Mondetta sweatshirt that I spent a years worth of allowance on.

"Hello ladieeeezzz!"

Angela said...

Re: The Hair. We had only one girl in my grade who did something this trendy and cool. At the time, we thought she was rather strange. (This was rural Iowa, 1980s, and I had only 50 kids in my grade.) It didn't take long after graduation to realize that she was pretty cool and daring to be willing to stand out like that in such an environment. Looking back, I can remember what she wore to prom: A cobalt blue sequin minidress. What do I remember about the other girls' dresses? Only that we all wore boring floor-length southern-belle-type dresses (which were the style at the time).

Kudos to you for being a little more daring than your counterparts.

I thought about inviting you to my (40th!) birthday party next Friday in South Minneapolis, but decided that my friends, who are hosting the party for me, might not appreciate my inviting a complete stranger off the 'net into their home. ;)

But if you're bored and have no plans and want to hang out with a very fun, mixed crowd (my softball team, some coworkers (guy engineers and their women), my cool geeky intellectual friends, my friends from Iowa from 20 years ago, and my boyfriend, just drop me an email and we can talk!

Otherwise, I love the blog (got it from "Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds")!


Ghost Dansing said...

Punk Rock Girls

Leather jackets, stupid boyfriends
poor report cards, life is just a ball
Hi-top chucks and bubblegum oh my gosh
I'd love to love em all
They're so cool,their styles never cramped
Too much of everything and everyone is amped
Well don't get hot and bothered
listen, I know I got my problems
I also know just what this goofy world needs
Yummy yummy punk rock girls

Distributorcap said...

isnt it amazing how "technicalities" get in the way of a good time

Lollie said...

This was way too close to anything I want to reveal here! Loved this post - I was giggling like an idiot reading this on the plane before takeoff. People were looking at me like I was about to bomb the jet.

BTW - thanks for the shout out. I have new friends!

Nature Girl said...

YOU Are Awsome! Thanks for the message! Your joke cracked me up too! I got back on the wagon today..and I'm back on track and doing good..thanks for the encouragement

Inarticulate Fumblings said...

I also like how your shirt is the same color as the background. It makes your head look like a prop for hair and makeup on the set of a biker, 80s movie.

Freida Bee, MD said...

I had my hair spiky in 8th grade and used to wear skinny ties and OP and Genera and then I went through this hideous big-banged sun-in phase (those are also the years I acquired my future skin cancer,) so my senior picture is beyond hideous, but I wised up fast and had Tim's hair a year later, and had boy haircuts for years. It's still all I can do to go get my hair cut and not say, "Give me an 80's boy-do."

And dguzman- I had to laugh at your comment becuase I so had a never-apart best frind who I did everything with and now I'm bi and she's been livin' with her wife for the last 15 years. If only I'd been a little wiser, I'd have been, well nevermind....

minijonb said...

i love all of those Flock of Seagulls hairdos. i had one back in 1988 as well.

New Wave nights in my town were at Top Of The Rock and Electric Avenue. this story has brought back some serious memories!

Beret said...

Holy Rosary did produce some pretty hot guys (better than anything I saw at East).

Once I made out in Leif Erickson park right on the stage and some random dog walker thought I was getting raped. He tried to rescue me, and yeah, it was pretty embarassing.

L Sass said...

Those all-ages clubs... they just bring BAD BAD things. My (really not at all rebellious) two best girlfriends actually got into a physical fight outside one in Mpls. I can't remember the name of it any more...

Courtney said...

You are one of my favorite people in the whole world.

Amaya said...

My thing was dating best friends. Never ended well. I wonder why?