Wednesday, January 2, 2008

The obligatory goal post.

I never, ever, ever, EVER make New Year's resolutions.

I mean, c'mon, aren't we just setting ourselves up for inevitable defeat, self-hatred, consolation cocktails and failure nachos by the very act of putting this stuff down on paper, thereby making it "real"?

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

But I did it this year anyways- fear of failure be damned.

I won't bore you with the details, but it is a looooong list.

31 things, to be exact.

I need to make some changes this year- I'm way overdue.

I'll spare you of the "lose a few pounds", "eat better", "save more money", "be nicer to people you hate for superficial reasons" entries (but they are there, trust me).

I thought "buy pretty shoes more often" should go on the list, but that kind of negated the "quit buying shit you don't necessarily need" entry.

I thought that "Look at the big picture instead of obsessing about the tiny bullshit" was a good one, as was "Quit constantly daydreaming about the impossible, try to focus on the here & now".
Reality is a really mean leather-bitch sometimes.

Also, I absolutely HATE having to think about money. I hate looking at a bank statement, I hate pay stubs, I hate thinking about bills. Such hatred sometimes puts me in a place where I just pretend money doesn't matter, that it just magically (meaning, the Mr. does all of our "accounting") ebbs and flows to the rhythm of of the tides. Magic elves (direct deposit) just wave a wand and, poof! there's the money. So...
"Quit treating money as if it wasn't real" made the cut.

And this is the "Me" section (other sections include personal, money and professional):

  • Write something, anything, other than your blog once a week.
  • Clean up the clutter, try harder to keep it that way (I have no less than 8 piles of crap laying around as we speak)
  • Quit focusing on the impossible, focus on the realistic (but I refuse to give up on my plans of winning the lottery. Sometimes you just gotta dream the dream, baby.)
  • Get a productive hobby (or two)(and no, electronic Yahtzee doesn't count)(Nor does closely inspecting and picking at things on your face for an hour a day)
  • Get a part-time job this summer that is non-food related (books? Gardening? Prostitution?)
  • Quit pissing away your free time so much (No more "Beach Patrol" on Court TV for you, little lady)
  • Choose to be happier
  • Take control of your life, rather than your life controlling you
  • Be more loving with your friends- let them know they matter every chance you get

  • Be the person you claim to be- be the person you wish you were- be the person you admire- be the person you respect- be the person who has too much fun- be the person who is really, truly special- be the person who makes a mark-


(Yeah, I know it's gross. But sometimes a girl just needs a solid kick in the behind to remind herself that she's an active participant in all of this life bullshit.)

I will be referencing the master list throughout the year to see where I'm at. I'll keep you posted. I'm hoping for a 90% success rate, but odds are it will be closer to 75%, if y'all are placing bets. You can look up my bookie, "Four-fingers Larry" if you're interested. He usually can be found hosting "squirrel fights" behind the grocery store on Baker St.
Just look for the guy with, well...four fingers.


LaLa said...

Excellent list. I may plagiarize - just a little. 'Choose to be happy' is a good one.

T said...

I love this list, esp. the boldface. Good luck, Ms. WM.

BTW, my word verification for this was "crzye." Hmmm.

Candy said...

Hey, if you can make prostitution a profitable part-time gig, let me know how. I have problems giving it away.

Gretta said...

Failure nachos don't even really taste that good. Kind of a coppery-aftertaste.

Good for you, and you KNOW I really just want you to add the pretty shoe-one back to the list.

CDP said...

Blogging--not a productive hobby?
Damn it.
I'm betting on you for 90% of these. And go ahead and add the "buy more cute shoes", too, since you're absolutely guaranteed to keep that one.
PS--you're already making a mark.

Christa said...

"failure nachos" is my favorite phrase i've read so far in 2008.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Making resolutions? I don't even know who you are anymore. What happened to my devil may care wistful Whiskeymarie?

Butrfly Garden said...

Everyone needs a mantra. Some people just don't realize it.

I wish mine was as good as yours.

I've never much liked resolutions. We should always be assesing our lives and trying to live better. I think the thing is that this is the only time of year anyone is going to ASK you what your plans are. That makes you think about it, even if you hate it.

dguzman said...

OMG, you totally nailed my whole attitude about money, WM. Only The Kat does the "accounting" for us. But you know what? It always works out, whether I stress about it or not, so I stopped stressing a long time ago. And The Kat (who normally stresses enough to need some serious fuckin' medication for it) has resolved to actually worry LESS about money too! It's kinda freakin' me out. Let's hope she keeps up that accounting wizardry, though, or life's gonna suck this year.

Moi said...

Love the new layout - you should have just made that your NY resolution!

Nocturnal said...

That is a healthy list, but you just may live up to it WM.


Stacy said...

So THAT'S what goes on behind that grocery store! I've always wondered . . .

(see you Sun? Can I buy you a drinkie or three?)

Whiskeymarie said...

Stac- I'll be there Sunday, I wouldn't miss it!

Landis said...

ok, first

i turn around for like, a day, and you have a thousand new posts.

SLOW DOWN. .. i'm old, it takes time for me to read.

lovely list. lovely inspiring bang on list.

ok, that's all for now.

L Sass said...

Choose to be happier is perpetually on my list! Great resolutions, in my opinion.