Saturday, December 15, 2007

Nice socks, they really compliment your...whatever.

So I have to get up by 7:30 and I can't sleep for a couple of reasons:

1) I discovered a new energy drink that is the energy drink of my dreams: No sugar, no artificial sweeteners, and it tastes like a good bubbly water. Hi-ball energy water. God I love you, but I seriously underestimated your potential.

2) I had my first big-'ol cup of coffee today in probably 2 months. What the fuck was I thinking having an energy drink and REAL coffee in the same day??!?? Is this what crack feels like? I'm not totally sure I hate this feeling- check back with me after a few weeks on the street.

3) I have another extension "cookie" class to "teach" tomorrow. Since I did the first one with one of the biggest hangovers of my life, maybe I should try this one with 95 seconds of sleep and vivarin. Although, the last time I took vivarin was in high school where I took, oh...47 of them and ended up puking up black stuff for 2 days.
This could be fun?

4) I'm all worked up about a party we're invited to tomorrow night. I was invited about 3 weeks ago and I still haven't rsvp'd. Yes, I am an asshole. Here is why I hesitate to go:
  1. For whatever reason, every time I have run into this couple in the last 2 years I have been shitfaced. No, I am not always shitfaced (despite my cool facade), and I don't know why karma hates me.
  2. (And this is really the reason for my anxiety)...They have a "shoes off" policy at their home.
Yes, I know I should be respectful of their rules.
Yes, I know the majority of you out there are "shoes off" kind of people.
Yes, I know I'm going to piss you off right now.

Here it is: "Shoes off" for a party is really not exactly my cup of tea. (Me being very, very polite here)
There you go.
I run a "shoes on" kind of house. Have I caught ebola yet? Nope. Do we catch colds and the flu more often than healthy Olympic athletes? Nope. Is our house a dirty, rat-infested cesspool?
Again, Nope.
I get not wanting your carpet to get dirty in the NORMAL scheme of things. I get not wanting some careless cad dragging dog shit into your home. I get whatever germs you are seriously phobic of. I get it.

I'm just not getting why you need to enforce it during a party.

Sorry. I don't. Never, ever will.

I think it's kind of not cool to invite people to your home for a PARTY, where they would think hard about their outfit, considering your hip, cool friends, and then tell them to take off the most important part of the outfit.

Don't have a party then. (Am I being a jerk? Hmmm...)

Sorry, I can't and won't plan an outfit around socks.

I even brought a NEW-ish pair of shoes to your house once when you had a party and you said no! Even when I showed you how the shoes were practically brand new and perfectly clean.
But then I saw a girl who was a closer friend of yours in cute heels in your basement.
What the hell?

Do you think I have shit on my shoes? Cause I don't. Trust me, it only happened that one time in San Fran.

I don't function well without a "full" ensemble.
I just think it's not fair to invite people into your home and then expect them to be uncomfortable.

Get the damn rugs shampooed right after or don't have the damn party. (Again, me? Being a jerk here? Am I?)

Sorry, I know this won't sit well with many of you, but I grew up in a "shoes on" house. It was clean and we rarely got sick, so you will have to try hard to convince me of those two points.

I just don't get how it is appropriate to ask people to do this.


I know I'm the minority.

Rather than berating me for my opinion, should I go to the party or not? I kind of told the hosts I would, and I usually have fun (for the most part) there, but this is seriously pissing me off and it tends to ruin the experience for me, however shallow and freakish that may sound.



And yes, I still have a few memes to get to, and I am happy (and kind of excited!) to do them. Just give me a few days until I am on my THREE AND A HALF WEEK BREAK FROM ANY AND ALL WORK to do them.
I feel that then, and only then, can I truly do them justice.
Thank you.


domboy said...

I'm confused about this one. I regularly wake up in bed with my shoes still on, it's no big deal. But when I'm in Japan it's a very weird feeling to enter a house without taking your shoes off. I'll go with my gut feeling though and say your friends might be missing the point of having a party. You should trash their house.

Mariposa said...

Well, our visitors can wear their shoes the whole time in the house...we just don't want them to go through the hassles of taking it off and socks/ stockings, etc...if a visitor wants to take them off, it annoys me bec I have to get a pair of disposable slippers to make them comfortable walking around the living room.

My Dad's family is if we have Japanese visitors, and they want to squat, they go to the tatami room and take off their shoes...but that is an exception.

Include me in the minority now...bec I don't take off my shoes when I go to a friend's house! :D

Distributorcap said...

when i was looking to buy an apt here in NYC, i went to one place that made me take my shoes off.

i left... my socks had holes in them

Beret said...

We have a no-shoes policy at our house, but we let it slide for parties.

I'm pretty short so if I don't wear heels with my dress pants/skirts/dresses I look terrible. I HATE having to take off my shoes for parties, it *does* ruin the whole look.

Randal Graves said...

Find the most obnoxious slippers you can find and wear those. Satisfies both their anti-outdoor shoe policy and your justified anti-anti-outdoor shoe policy.

Candy said...

Hi! Found your blog from someone else's. Can't remember who.

That shoe thing is the oddest thing I've ever heard. It would be even odder if I didn't have a neice-in-law who demands the same thing. I stopped going there. It was a blessing for all concerned.

Some outfits just don't look right without the proper shoes. That's a stupid rule.

If I were you, I would go and bring along with me a paid or enormously obnoxious slippers. Like maybe a pair with dildos on the end or something. See if they revoke their policy.

Jen from said...

I always let my visitors wear their shoes in my house. Especially after seeing that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie has to take off her very expensive shoes at a party and then gets them stolen. Eek!

Suze said...

The only place were weren't allowed to wear shoes in our house growing up were on the bed. Well, my mom didn't like them on the table either. I believe her exact words were "Get your damn shoes off MY damn furniture".

So go to the party, take off your shoes and then puke on their carpet.

Kate said...

Normally our guests take their shoes off, but it's not a rule I enforce. It's mostly because everyone ends up sleeping on the couch. I could care less either way.

I do think it is rude to host a party - especially during the dressed up holiday season - and enforce a shoes-off policy. Not very hospitable.

Whiskeymarie said...

I am so glad I'm not alone here.

Great ideas so far, guys- especially the shole slippers/no pants thing.
Chances are I'll wake up somewhere strange with no pants on anyways, this way I can stay ahead of the game.

abbersnail said...

I wouldn't go to a party with rules like that. Frankly, I'd be too afraid of spilling something on their precious carpet, and then the host/ess freaking the hell out.

Nothing says "fun" to me like a little fear.

H said...

SHOES ON, especially at a party. Shoes make the outfit!

CDP said...

I'm with you and I run a shoes-off house here (married to a Korean). But when we have a party, shoe removal is it if you want to, don't if you don't.

Joe said...

Tell 'em if they want your shoes off that badly, they can try taking them off your feet themselves. Or tell them you'll only take them off if you can also go pantsless. Or tell them if the shoes come off your feet, they (the hosts) have to carry them around for you in their mouths like a spaniel (it is their hostly duty, after all). Or just tell them to go fuck themselves.

-R- said...

We don't have a shoes off policy at our house, but whenever we have a party, people seem to voluntarily take their shoes off at the door. I try to tell everyone that they don't have to take their shoes off, but whatever.

I do understand why people would have a shoes off policy with all the snow out though. I don't think you're wrong to dislike the policy, but I do understand why they would have it. I think you should go and wear an all leopard outfit, including those leopard slippers.

Flenker said...

I'm a shoes off kind of guy, mostly because I don't like wearing shoes. And, since I'm a broke dude, I don't want to pay to clean the muddy, slushy stuff that would usually amass on the Iowa sidewalks, then on my shoes, then on my carpet. If people come over, though, I don't care, they can wear or not wear whatever they'd like.

And this is the first time I've heard of a germ reason for taking off shoes. That's stupid. I just prefer walking around in socks or barefoot. Then again, I don't know anything about how my shoes look with the rest of my clothes, and honestly (you may want to be seated) I don't care how they look. I'm sorry if I offend you, WM.

Whiskeymarie said...

Flenker- you could never offend me, dear.
You are awesome.

As are the rest of y'all.

I'm thinking I'll wear really gross/questionably clean socks with holes in them.
And no pants.

Anonymous said...

Don't go.

Why do they have a no shoes policy? Is it because of snow? I live in Florida but don't make my fiends take their shoes off with all the rain we have here.

I could see "no heels" if they have wood floors but to make guests uncomfortable from the get go is not necessary.

If I had to go shoeless this weekend it would be a problem. I spray painted my patio furniture while wearing my crocs. I have black spots all over my feet from the holes in the shoes.


Christa said...

i'm probably to late to give you this answer, but i thought of it today while at the miller hill mall and trying on a pair of complicated boots that i did not buy.

wear one pair of shoes. bring another pair of shoes -- either new or not worn outside yet -- in the box.

when the host reminds you to take off your shoes, slip into the new pair with a very smug smile.


Ghost Dansing said...

militant song about foot wear

Deana said...

I have never been to anyone's house (party or otherwise)where I was asked or expected to take off my shoes. Seems crazy to me that this is apparently the norm for so many people. It strikes me as hillbilly and/or just kind of rude for someone to remove their shoes in the company of anyone other than close family or a podiatrist, or at the beach etc.

LittlePea said...

Oh! I agree with you dear. And I live in a shoes off house. Well it's not really a shoes off house. It's a shoes optional house. As in 'island style', "you can take your shoes off if you want to be more comfortable because we do or you can leave them on because we don't give a shit if the carpet gets dirty, we know how to wash and we vacuum more than once a year." I think it's a little tacky to invite people over for a party and then enforce all sorts of stipulations like that. That sounds more like a Nazi Party meeting than a damn party. I thought parties were all about hospitality and entertainment..... I get as irritated as you do cuz I loves me some shoes dammit.

Nature Girl said...

I'm a shoes on kind of gal, and I run a shoes on kind of household. DH insists the boys take their shoes off when they come in the house because...well...they're boys, they play hard in the yard and we have 100lb dog. Need I say more? But aside from that, when guests come to my door and start taking off their shoes, I often wave them off and say "no no..sheesh..don't bother with that" I want my guests to be comfortable. I think it's kind of odd ESPECIALLY as the host of a party to INSIST that guests take their shoes off. Geeze..I have serious germaphobia, but for crying out loud, that's ridiculous! Here's my solution. Get yourself a pair of those sterile surgical booties that go over Dr's feet...go to the party, take your shoes off and then slip those on. When questioned by the host explain to them, that it's much more sanitary for you to have your shoes on knowing that people constantly run around in that house barefoot and you'd rather wear the sterile slippers than take a chance on picking up athletes foot because lord only knows WHAT people have been tracking in on that carpet! That may make them think twice next time before enforcing this absurd rule. Hell..I'd much rather my guests keep their shoes ON in my home...keep your damn foot fungus to yourselves people!

Gretta said...

I love you for this post. If you're in Japan/Korea/etc. "Shoes off" is cultural. Here? Just bullshit.
These are the same people who will never let their kids decorate the Christmas tree with the ornaments they made at school.
Wear your best macaroni and glitter shoes.

Katrin said...

Nobody I know has a shoes-on policy. I believe it is an Austrian thing - you just do it. And I have a lot of holes in a lot of socks. Last Friday I brought my own house shoes to a party. They are pink and say "Pretty Woman".

Freida Bee, MD said...

Look, the party's probably over, but wear some of those onesie pj's with the feet in them with a teddy underneath and tell 'em they've gotta take their pick.

Freida Bee, MD said...

Oh, and I grew up with a mom with OCD and shoes off is STILL the rule in her house.

Stefanie said...

I appreciate it if people take their shoes off in my house if they're obviously muddy or it's snowy outside, but other than that, I don't see why I'd care. Can you find a stylish pair of slippers to bring along that complements your outfit? (No? Not the point, I suppose.)

diatribes and dish said...

Being late to arrive to the comment party (with shoes firmly ON), all I have to say is "Preach it sista!" The more the "shoes-on" people hear it, the more they'll realize how ridiculous their requirement is.

Mommy Lisa said...

The reason most people are 'shoes off' freaks is that EVERY DAMN PARENTING MAGAZINE out there says you will bring in weed killer, fertilizer and all kinds of nasty junk for your baby to get into.

I personally think that is b.s. when you are bringing people in for a fancy party. Most people do not wear their gardening shoes to your party.

It is stupid and I heartily agree with you on this one.


nabbalicious said...

I suggest that you buy a pair of cheap shoes from Payless, wear them all day to get your feet all nice and stinky and then after you take them off at the party, set your stopwatch to see how quickly they rescind this policy.

(I'm okay with shoes-off policies anytime but during parties, but I don't think I'm ballsy enough to enforce one myself).

landis said...

oh how i LOATHE people with that policy. it immediately puts them in the "not really my friend" category, because i KNOW they also overuse purell, don't double dip, and smell vaguely like lysol.

dguzman said...

you porr thing. I also run a shoes-on household, and I rather enjoy it that way. These "friends" of yours need to live in a museum or something.

Amaya said...

I'm a shoes off kinda girl but I see where you're coming from and agree that if you're having a party with other adults then you need to ease up. But for the record - it's not like you have nasty feet and I really like your nail polish.

Butrfly Garden said...

I think it's sad because they probably have to do it on a "someone ruined it for everyone" basis. (Although, NO SHOES should mean NO SHOES, the friend thing would piss me off!) But do you know what I mean? Most people use common sense and they're like, "Hey, there's [mud, snow, etc] on my shoes...I think I'll take them off" - but once you've had someone NOT use that common sense, it's hard NOT to ask people to take their shoes off. That said, when we have parties we allow shoes. That said, my white carpet is absolutely disgusting.

Anyway, hope you had fun whether you went or not.