1) I am unable to participate in this today. My heart is officially broken and I hate myself for it. Lots of boring reasons why I can't, but there you go. I am aware that I am missing out on what would probably be the single most awesome event in the history of all things awesome. I am aware that not many chances come along for a lady like myself to dress up like the King and run down a downtown Minneapolis street. I am aware that I could easily fill a week's worth of blogs with tales from the event. I am aware of how lame I am.
I am aware.
I'm crying a King sized tear as we speak.
2) Candy review: Good, not great. Mine was kind of grainy, but that may have been from melting in my husband's car then being put in the fridge so I could eat it. Good banana flavor, nice with the peanut butter, really really sweet. Was good with Sauvignon Blanc.
3) When I was waiting for a prescription to be filled yesterday I was watching a couple sitting near me. I was thinking to myself, "He's much cuter than her- you don't see that very often. I wonder what's wrong with him." I sat there a little longer, waiting. Finally they called his girlfriend's name and she went up to the window to pay for her prescription.
He proceeded to scratch his head, pick something off of his scalp, inspect it for a minute, then...
(wait for it, wait for it...)
Guess we know who the winner is in that relationship.
4) I had the full-on-have-no-modesty skin cancer check yesterday that I waited over FOUR MONTHS for. Best part was, I even waited a little longer so I could have a female doctor. Yet, when I finally got to my appointment that I waited FOUR MONTHS for, I was informed that not one, but TWO youngish, cute-ish MALE doctors would be inspecting every inch of me under fluorescent lights. Which- though it sounds like the plot line of one of your better-quality pornos- is not as sexy as it sounds. Horrifying, to say the least. Almost as horrifying as the time I got poison oak on my ass (don't ask- it involved my youth and a rave on the beach) and had two VERY cute young doctors looking VERY closely at my bum saying things like, "Wow, I've never seen anything like this before." Nonstop fun, my life is.
Sorry doctor boys, had I known that we had a date scheduled, I would have done some groundskeeping, if you know what I mean (wink wink).
5) I'm going to this tonight. I'm so excited about it that I may have to wear a diaper.
Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Michael Cera is so cute. I want to cover him in sprinkles, roll him in powdered sugar drizzle him in chocolate and eat him up like a doughnut.
I'm counting on this to make up for missing the running of the Elvises.
That's it for now, folks.
Happy Friday my little chocolate-glazed cake doughnuts!