(Boys, this is a post about shoes. There's nothing for you to see here. Move along now.)
(What's that? You like the shape of my toes? And you want to sniff them? Well...o.k. Just don't scratch the leather, jackass. And quit fondling my arches. Ick.)
So, to reward myself with the bounty I so richly deserve for being, well, great- I deserve shoes. Shoes that remind me how ugly I am during the week when I wear these:
Wedgie shoes. (Yes, I call them wedgies, not wedges. Whatever.)
Slingbacks- my favorite in all the history of shoes. As well as patent, my other most-favorite.
Oh, did I mention the extra $800 cha-ching I am bringing to the table via my overtime and humanitarian work this week? By humanitarian, I mean I have a friend who caters & needs my help this Sunday.
For many dollars an hour.
I'm still frugal, however, and I need YOUR help picking out my new pair of kicks, as I am cheap and cannot bring myself to buy more than one. Number them 1-4, top to bottom (ignore the clogs, dear god, please), and tell me which ones you think I should buy and why.
I know, they're not as avant-garde as I could be- and usually am.
Sorry, these days I like wearable AND cute.
Patent? Green? Floral for summer? Safe but versatile taupe?
Purrrrr....stroke my shoes baby, fondle my heels.
Whatever gets the most votes wins, and I buy.
Simple & democratic. A popular vote, the way it should be.
Shoes bless America!
I feel sexier already.
Now I just need to wash my hair...and shave my sasquatch legs...and make sure I have mascara on both eyes, and eat something that occurs naturally in nature, and get some sleep...Zzzzz....