Sunday, April 1, 2007

I think I just sexually harassed a movie. Please. Help me.

I saw 300 last night. Yowza.

I'm sure it had a plot, but I am struggling to remember what it was as I was too busy enjoying that tingly warm sensation in my undies only glorious pieces of man-meat like this can inspire:


Normally, gratuitous rippling pecs and thighs (oh, the muscled, flexing thighs!) doesn't sway me (much), but holy shit- by "Spartans" did they mean clothing?
For nearly 2 hours.

I'm considering a second career in stalking.

Dear Spartans:
Please make me your queen. I will lovingly wash your leather undies as often as you like- I'll even use woolite so it's nice & soft for your junk. You can invade my homeland as well as me anytime your perfect, smooth, rippled self gets a hankering to. My husband won't mind as he likes your comic book & will probably think it's "cool" if we hook up.

I'll be waiting for your call, baby.



I felt a little guilty this morning for the dreams I had last night, so I made a lovely breakfast for Mr. Whiskeymarie:
*Oatmeal-orange buttermilk pancakes
*potato-veggie hash
*Turkey sausages (Yes. Sausage. You dirty little monkeys with your dirty minds...)

Guilty, but not so guilty that I'm not still playing house in my head with Mr. Spartan of the lovely leather brief Spartans. Maybe I can get my Mr. to start wearing a cape.
I'm pretty sure we're not quite ready for the undies, just yet.



On a side note:

Happy Birthday to my dear, now-gone grandma Martha.

I miss you.
I miss how funny and crass you were. I miss your carrot cake. I miss how you made fun of Grandpa and your dog, Pita (stood for Pain In The Ass). I miss how you thought all of your grandkids were flawed, perfectly wonderful people who were living their lives on their own terms- just like you were/did.
Did I mention the carrot cake? And the "Mock Chicken legs" (don't ask- they were weird but delicious & pretty much what they sound like).
I miss Christmas and a slide show at your house.

Yeah, I really miss Christmas.

I miss knowing that I could stop in anytime at all and you'd be there, in your kitchen, the perpetual cup of coffee in your hand...and you were always happy to see me.

Happy birthday, my April Fool.


Kate said...

For more man meat, try to catch "Romancing the Bride" on Oxygen. Yes, it's a made for TV movie on the Oxygen channel, so it will suck, but gazing at the lead male is worth whatever brain cells you'll lose from the movie's idiocy.

I love my BF, but I love me some man meat fantasy fodder.

Whiskeymarie said...

I LOVE me some made for TV movies. But, alas, I only get el cheapo cable & don't get Oxygen. Back to the Hallmark channel & 80's made for TV reject movies.
Hello Rick Springfield!

I love Mr. WM too, but I think we lovely ladies deserve a nice slab o'man every once in a while, considering the parade of silicone & pilates we are subjected to on a regular basis.