Monday, May 4, 2009

Yup.

I don't remember what it was I was wishing for when this picture was taken- I'm guessing it probably was a cool new terrycloth shirt, a menstrual cycle, or my own pair of roller skates.

What I do remember is being excited about my birthday for probably a good month before it happened. What would I get? Who would I invite to my slumber party? Will I feel any older? When are my boobies finally going to grow?

For a number of reasons I'll tell you about someday when all of it is finally something I can talk about in the past tense, I really wasn't too excited for the big day this year. This last year has been a bit of a roller coaster, and the last few months in particular have been fairly challenging and soul-sucking for me. Getting older on top of it all just kind of seems unnecessarily cruel.

I have to do something today that promises to take my soul, crumple it into a ball, then toss it out of a 13th story window to the street below. It's something I can't avoid- it has to be done.
Such is life. Sorry to be so cryptic, but I just can't lie and say that I'm excited or happy about today when I have such a big pile of shit on my plate where cake should be.

But honestly, I feel strangely optimistic today. I'll be fine, I'm not sitting here crying my eyes out. I'm not depressed, I'm not leaving you all or anything.

Do me a favor- have some cake for me today- it makes me happy when you have cake. OK?
I'll be back tomorrow- happier, and (hopefully) a wee bit relieved.

XO

21 comments:

Evil Genius said...

Happy birthday? I can let you take my time machine for a spin if you want to see how it all turns out.

Gwen said...

I'll be thinking about you all day. When it's over, please visit here to collect your cake and gifts.

I love you, man!

John said...

I hope that a big slice of birthday cake will taste MUCH better at the end of the day.

Happy Birthday, Whiskeymarie.

SkylersDad said...

Hugs and love from all of us out here on your birthday, I hope life levels out for you!

Some Guy said...

I hope whatever it is all goes well and that you can somehow salvage a Happy Birthday, WM.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Happy birthday sweety! You make this blog reading thingy more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

Renaissance Woman said...

Sucky life gets in the way of happiness from time to time Whiskey! Sorry to hear that you aren't able to enjoy your birthday to it's fullest! I'm hoping what ever is going on will resolve itself and you will feel pure joy again! Happy Birthday...and I vote that we all have cake!

LVGurl said...

Happy Birthday!

...and I'm always looking for an excuse to scarf down some cake...

Jacquie said...

A reluctant birthday party girl? Really? YOU?? Come on. This is THE day to party for you! I shall eat cake and drink champagne like there's no tomorrow, and you should get off your reluctant butt and do the same.

Happy Birthday Whiskymarie!!

diatribes and dish said...

Happy Birthday, and good luck with whatever it is that you're planning to do.

Dr Zibbs said...

Happy Birthday monkey girl!

Mommy Lisa said...

Try this - when I turned thirty I just got drunkity drunk - wore too short of a skirt and stood on a bar and said, "I am PHUCKING THIRTY PEOPLE DEAL WITH IT!"

And now that I am going to be FORTY - frickin - TWO in less than sixty days I may do it again!

Nyah.

:) Big birthday hug!!!

Stacey said...

Your supreme radness will carry you through whatever suckage you must handle. You're a strong woman and you knowz it.

Happy Birfday, much love and big ol sloppy kisses.

Me

Landis said...

dear lord. such trauma over getting a little botox. i swear.

just take a deep breath, close your eyes, and the nice lady with the needle makes you look five years younger.

"soul crumpling". lord. pansy.

(big love and hugs. you, like i, survive and thrive. it's the pushing through the first part that sucks.)

-L

T said...

Hang in there, and remember, your boobies are great.

steph said...

Happy Birthday, WM.

I will eat plenty of cake in your honor.

kirby said...

Happy Birthday. I hope you come out on the other side o.k.

wafelenbak said...

Happy birthday to you, dear Whiskey Marie. Hope things start sucking less soon.

punchlinewalking said...

Stupid Universe. But HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I'm stuffing cake in my mouth right this minute, just for you.

LegalMist said...

So sorry for whatever difficulty you are facing. I hope it all worked out ok, and I hope you got your cake, too.

Thinking of you & wishing you all the best.

Kim said...

Are you and I riding a parallel speeding train through hell right now or what? Fucking life, man.
I hope your day ended up being a good one regardless. If it's any consolation, you are both my hero and the wind beneath my wings.