Friday, May 15, 2009

Things that have been shoved through my mail-hole lately

I've got a fairly busy/fun weekend ahead of me: helping a friend with a garage sale (that I'm totally excited about- I'll bring my camera to photograph strangers), tickets so Steven Wright(!) tomorrow night, hopefully some hot eggs-on-bacon action for Sunday brunch, and misc. projects around the house.
So, as a quickie post, I'll show you some of the lovely love that I have had the pleasure of having my supermodel mailman shove into my mail-hole in the past few weeks. Sure, he's quick, shoves it in without so much as a hello, and he leaves immediately after, but I can always say that my mailman leaves me satisfied. And by "satisfied" I mean "leaves me lots of cool loot".

First up- CHEESE!!

My Seattle boy, John, a fellow member of the 12-step program for curdified dairy products, sent me some cheese, glorious cheese for my bee-day. This is the second time I have had the pleasure of coming home from work and seeing that the cheese fairy had arrived. Aged (and SUPER good) Scottish (not to be confused with Irish) cheddar, smooshy & delicious goat, and three samples- an amazing cheddar, Morbier (one of my all-time favorites) and stilton that I haven't tried yet.

My Nevada pal, T.J. sent me another big box of fun a while back, full of all sorts of goodness that made me so very happy. He also sent me my prize in the first annual "Ren & Stimpy obscure quotes" contest. I believe I was the only entrant, but I still felt proud that my "cling tenatiously to my buttocks" quote didn't go unnoticed. My prize? A super-awesome Ren & Stimpy watch that my students were very jealous of when I wore it to work:

The other WM in my life, the ebony to my ivory, the Chuck D. to my Flavor Flav, the flourescent orange cheese to my tortilla chips, sent me a giant box of happiness full of toys, monkeys, and band-aids for when I handle cutlery whilst drunkety drunk drunk.

The bacon floss left my mouth porkiliciously fresh and smoky...mmmm!!

The "bling" band-aids brought out my inner gangsta rapper- "MC Mixmaster Twatardo":


She remembered that I prefer my eyewear to be cutting edge, modern, and always keeping up with the latest in "grandma chic", but thought that in my old age I might need a pair that's a bit...bigger:

Hopefully someday the doctors can help me with my condition- the highly contagious "bipolar lazy eye":

A (long) while back, the artist currently known as Evil Genius sent me an envelope full of all sorts of stuff, including chocolate, a CD, fun DC memorabilia, and a lock of his hair:

Little does he know that I'm using it for my voodoo spells...

He also sent me an Obama magnet, and I thought I should show him that it's on my fridge- Elvis, Wonder Woman and the Pope are keeping him company.

I know I owe a few other thank-yous to a few other folks- I just want to properly document them, so give me a day or two. Hell, I've been an ungrateful beyotch this long, what's a little longer?

Go out and do something fun this weekend, my banana-flavored wads of used dental floss.

Happy Friday.



180|360 said...

I've never heard of Morbier cheese. I'll have to try it!

Lollie said...

Would it be okay to dress a roast with bacon floss?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Hey, when did you steal my glasses?

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. Artisanal cheese is to DIE for. I would give me left boobie for that for my birthday!

Kim said...

Leave it to you to make glasses like THAT look sexay.

Utah Savage said...

You had me at the cheese. By the time I got to the goofy glasses I was both drooling on my keyboard and laughing. And yes, only you could make THOSE glasses look sexy.

My god, can you write!

kirby said...

Speaking of cheese, today the checker at Trader Joe's wouldn't sell me the wedge of blue cheese I threw in my cart because there was no "sell by" date on it and she was afraid it would be moldy. "Yeah," I said, "Isn't that kind of the point?"

Cash Register Jockey said...

I would so use bacon floss.

Dr Zibbs said...

Did I tell you I followed Steven Wright on stage when I was doing Stand-up in Philly years ago?

And I made a joke toward him and he laughed?

Yeah. You probably heard that one before.

Dr Zibbs said...

So if you see him, ask him if he remembers. It was at the Comedy Works in Philly around 1991.

I think it was a Thursday.

Gloriana Beausoleil said...

Oh, holy hand grenades! We have the same diner magnets on our fridges!


Lisa said...

Oh man. You get the best things in your hole!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Pure awesome, you had the bestest birthday, ever!

WendyB said...

Steven Wright! Lucky you!

Keith said...

I had to re-read that title a couple of times. I had just awoke and thought that I had landed on one of those remote porn sites (by accident of course).

Anyway, it was really very, very interesting reading about all those things that have been shoved in your mail-hole recently.

SkylersDad said...

Pure awesome, what a great collection!

Stacey said... love for you knows no bounds. Seriously. This pictorial/editorial is probably the best thanks I've ever gotten.
Well minus some thank you sex from the husband...but , ahem, nevermind that.

You're one bad-ass bitch, fo sho!


Other WM

P.S - I think the glasses and the bling could be worn at the same time for a kind of gansta cat lady ghetto fabulous look. Try it.

Von said...

Aha! A kindred kermit magnet soul!!

Red said...

You get the best voodoo from EG's hair, no? ;^)

3carnations said...

I forgot all about Ren & Stimpy. I do, however, recall that I watched them.

justme said...

we can all strive to have a birthday like that one. i'm thinking that when i'm in duluth this september, i will come across you at Luce's and you will be wearing those glasses.

Aunt Snow said...

Excellent! Birthday congratulations!