True (sadly, but yes. Actually happened today) story...
Today I was talking to a student. Not a direct student of mine, mind you, but a student whom I have had much contact with and whose ADHD and overall, well...oddness I have become familiar with. I actually really like him and (ahem) appreciate his honesty...
Student: (totally out of the blue) "Have you been getting enough sleep lately?"
Me: (caught off guard) Um...yes. Why do you ask?
Student: "Well, it's just that you have those really dark circles under your eyes. You look like you need some sleep."
Me: (thinking) ("Got to hell. I look awesome!!!!!): (In reality): "Um, yeah. My allergies are bad right now and I've been rubbing my eyes a lot..."
Student: Yeah, you look worn out. (smiles)
Me (thinking): "Hello, 38! Now kindly go and fuck yourself! Thank you!" "Yeah, I probably could use some sleep. Um, I think I'm fine now and I don't need any more help. YOU CAN GO HOME NOW.
Student: "Oh! Sure- OK, fine. See you Monday!" (smiles, leaves. Like a douchebag.)
38 is the new 21, right???
Whatever. Anyone seen my walker? What about my support hose? Who has that ribbon candy I like so much????????
(Less than THREE days until International Whiskeymarie Day!! Can you stand it?? Are you excited???!??? No, I don't give a shit either. Thank you for putting that out there. No, really- thank you. That bitch is WAAAAYYYYY too self absorbed. In fact, I saw her last week at the grocery store, sticking her tongue down that checkout guy's throat- You know! The one that looks like Jay-Z, and now she's all "look at me, I'm Beyonce...beyotches!!!"
Bitch needs some humbling, is all I'm sayin...)
(What the hell was I saying?)
(Oh yeah, Whiskeymarie Day)
(Whatever. Bitch'll be so drunk she won't notice.)
(Dress like a squirrel, who cares. Weirdos.)