Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Jameson: it's not just for breakfast anymore.

A belated weekend recap, now in new and improved bullet form! (new and improved form not valid in Idaho, Nebraska and Montana. New and improved bullet form subject to state sales tax in Wisconsin and Texas):
  • Friday night I had to work, so my night pretty much consisted of: go home, drink wine, wish I had the energy to do stuff, drink more wine, TV, and sleep.
  • I spent Saturday morning frantically cleaning the house, as my girlies were coming to town and I wanted to fool them into thinking that I don't normally live in conditions similar to those found in your average crack den. Ha! Fooled them!
  • Once my twatmonkeys arrived, and since we are fast approaching the age where appliqued sweatshirts might seem like a good wardrobe choice, we went to a craft fair. Sadly, there weren't any of these. Or these. All I bought was a t-shirt, which is currently in the washing machine.
  • We were celebrating both mine & my girl Waffle's b-days, so we opened gifties before we went to dinner. Holy hell, did I rake it in. These girls are awesome. Tons of Aveda, makeup, a cool lift bridge charm for a necklace, Jesus dieting magnets, a TJMaxx gift card, lovely white serving pieces that I needed, the most coolest, awesomest book EVER, a great black kitty tee from Benetton, and the Mr. got me (among other things) my own adopted monkey. I'll tell you more about her later.
  • Dinner was at Wasabi- good, not great. It was loud and our table was really uncomfortable to sit at. The sushi was good, the drinks were strong, overall I'd give it a B.
  • After dinner, we went to the Fine Line where Blondie's man was working and he got us on the guest list for a CD release party. The Invincible Kids were playing- this was my 2nd time seeing them and I have to say I really like them. So it Goes was also playing- they're good too. Our arrival at the Fine Line marked the point in the night where the gloves came off and we started sucking down the booze at near-olympic speed.
  • We were joined by two cute boys we know- one gay, one not- started dancing and started our rapid descent into alcoholic retardation.

  • After bar close, we all went back to my house, drank way too much Jameson, showed each other our boobies, danced in our jammies, woke up the Mr., broke glassware, spilled things, and eventually woke up with hangovers that made us wish we no longer had heads or bellies. It was the sort of hangover that even breakfast and mimosas at Luce couldn't cure. It was the sort of hangover that rendered us unable to use our hands or form coherent words for two days. It was the sort of hangover that forced us to ask the question at brunch (in-between discussing keeping shit in a jar and face-fucking)- "what the hell is wrong with us and the people we know?"
  • Overall, a great goddamn weekend.
Happy Wednesday, my whiskey-soaked, topless garden gnomes. Happy Wednesday.



Christa said...

that just read like a commercial for drinking. despite recent claims [read: lies] that i'll not be drinking again for the rest of my life, drinking has never sounded more fun.


i am playing outside said...

You didn't invite me? :( I'm... a little hurt. You KNOW I like Jameson's *cries*

Kim said...

Wait - Benetton is still around? See what happens when you live in the rural, backwooded, inbred south? I'm culturally and shoppingly deprived.
In an alternate universe I live near you and get to hang out with you once in awhile in hopes that your awesomeness rubs off on me.
I can't WAIT for the monkey story.

Gwen said...

Posts like these break my wittle heart. I should have been there!

Promise me you will stay alive long enough for at least one more berfday and I will come up there to help y'all celebrate.

WendyB said...

Twatmonkey sounds like a good cocktail name to me.

SkylersDad said...

Your girl gang should all get t-shirts that say twatmonkeys!

Fancy Schmancy said...

Sounds magical! Glad you had a good time. Now tell us about the damn monkey, already!

John said...

Did you know that Jenna Jameson "pulled" her last name from Jameson Whiskey? Did you know that I know way too much about porn stars? I'm guessing "yes" to both. : )

P.S. - you roooked mahvelous on your birthday, dahling!

Stacey said...

What's this I hear about DANCING. I distinctly remember someone telling me they DON'T dance.

I oughta ya know...but I'm not going to (ya know = I don't really know but the threat sounds good)

On another note I think we had parallel evenings. I met my bff's new man for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Way too much wine, maybe some booby showing, maybe I now know he has a prince albert and maybe I wanted a new head the next day and to perhaps not have been so ridiculously drunk.

Sometimes I can't believe I'm someone's mom....

Lollie said...


can we plan a Whiskey Blog Bash in 2010?

HAHAHAHA! my word verification: imsious

for real...I'm serious! 2010!

LegalMist said...

Awesome -- glad you had a great time. You deserve it!

And no, I'm not implying you *deserved* the hangover...

... although you certainly -earned- it...!

Renaissance Woman said...

OMG...I think that sounds like the perfect weekend! Next birthday I am going to come and drink too much with all of you.

Mommy Lisa said...

Can you BELIEVE I know people that actually named their kid Jameson... and NO! They are not retarded and don't know what Jameson is, they thought it was HILLARIOUS to name him Jameson. I give him until he is 15 before he needs rehab.

Anonymous said...

love your write-up !!!