I took my tried and true 1960-something 1 speeder, Ethel, out for a nice long spin today.
Here she is, parked in the garage.
I wanted to take her younger (70's) brother, Gary, out instead as he has three speeds (!), a bell and a nifty basket on his booty, but if you look closely you can see that he is having some chain "issues".
So, Ethel and I tooled around the neighborhood, went downtown, and scared the shit out of a hobo sleeping on the pike path. Sorry, Mr. hobo dude.
Ethel and I discussed things, and we agreed that making these for the BBQ at J2's house tonight was a good idea:
Would you like one?
I have been told that my choco chip cookies are quite possibly the world's best.
Braggart? Indeed. But I spent a looooong time perfecting them, so I feel entitled to brag, brag, brag away.
I don't keep the recipe locked in a special compartment in my chastity belt, so here you go:
Whiskeymarie's Fucking Awesome Chocolate Chip Cookies:
1c. softened butter (read that? It says BUTTER. Not margarine, not Shedd's spread country crock. BUTTER. Make sure it's room temp or you'll be sorry.)
1c. dark brown sugar, packed (you can use light brown, but try the dark. You won't regret it.)
3/4 c. regular old white granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 Tablespoon vanilla (yes, you read that right. I tablespoon. I know it seems like a lot, but humor me. Also, try using the real stuff if you can, not the imitation. You can get it cheap at Costco. It makes a big difference.)
2 large eggs
3 c. all-purpose flour (measure this accurately. Don't "eyeball" it.)
12-oz bag MILK chocolate chips (I prefer Guylian as the chips are bigger, but Ghirardelli or any other "good" kind will do. Don't go and cheap out on the chocolate.)
If you have a mixer, use it (using the paddle), otherwise you can do this by hand too.
Cream together the butter, sugars, salt, soda and vanilla (if you are using a mixer, usually 2-3 minutes is fine, by hand it'll be 4-5 minutes. Yes, your arm will get tired.)
Add the eggs one at a time and incorporate thoroughly.
Add the flour and mix until everything is just incorporated (if you are using a mixer, pulse it on and off at first or you'll have a big-assed mess. Also, when using the mixer, I mix on low until the flour is sort of "halfway" combined, and then I add the chips so they don't get all smooshed up. If mixing by hand add the chips with the flour.)
Drop by heaping tablespoons onto an ungreased baking sheet, then flatten slightly with the palm of your hand.
Bake at 350 degrees until just lightly browned (they will look puffy). Let rest only about 10-15 seconds, then remove from the sheet to cool.
Eat em' up. You can also add 3/4 c. chopped nuts (when you add the chips) to this if you're into bastardizing recipes like that. Any other alterations/substitutions and I cannot guarantee the fucking awesomeness of the cookies. Just follow the damn recipe, will you?
Happy Thursday, my ooey, gooey chippy morsels of love. Happy Thursday.