Monday, April 14, 2008

A love letter to a girl, in a totally not gay way.

Though most of you know this season we're in by the less exciting and non gift-related other name of "Spring", February-May marks the blessed season for me that I like to call "birthday season".

One of my sisters, my brother-in-law, my mother-in-law, two of my husband's friends and the most important ones of all: myself and my three closest girlfriends all have birthdays in this brief time span.
I love birthday season, because it means that me and my three girls- Waffle, Blondie and Hotpants- will get anywhere from 2-4 evenings with mostly just us , dinner, cocktails and fabulous gifts. Well, and maybe drunk hot tubbing- who can really predict these sorts of things?

Today, in particular, marks the glorious day when my girl Waffle was thrust into this world (cough) 37 years ago. I'm pretty sure the first words out of her mouth were "What are we doing tonight?"

When I first started hanging out with Waffle, around 6th grade, we shared a friend in common who happened to have the same name as me, however spelled a bit different. Let me tell you, having an odd number of friends in 6th grade was never a good idea. The other "Wiskeymarie" and myself fought constantly for the friendship of Waffle, yet we occasionally set aside our rivalry to band together to make fun of her too. I remember one time in particular, where she wrote a note to me that looked something like this:

Waffle was not fat, but for whatever reason we liked to depict her as such. We were assholes.

Eventually "Wiskeymarie" moved away, and Waffle and I became "BFF"s - mostly because we were misfits and didn't fit in with the "popular" kids anymore. We bought vintage dresses from Goodwill and fancy punk rock shoes from London. We listened to bands like Big Black, "old" and "New" Ministry, Fear, Christian Death, and the Dead Kennedys, but we still had a soft spot for the Violent Femmes, the Smiths, the B-52's and Dead or Alive.

We lusted after boys that had mohawks or otherwise "interesting" hair, we painted our fingernails all sorts of unnatural colors, and we stayed up late at each other's houses talking about this and that- but mostly itching to grow up and "be something" other than who we were and "go somewhere" other than our small-town hometown.

We suffered through unfortunate hairdos (at one point in early jr. high, her nickname was "pube", such was her love of the perm), broken hearts from unrequited loves, our first cigarettes, and many, many questionable 80's fashion choices.

We made it through prom:

And graduation:

And lived to tell about it. We were there for each other when our respective hymens were thrown to the wolves, and we dealt with all sorts of odd and interesting boyfriends through the years, including (but not limited to): tortured "artists", tortured "musicians", guys that should have sent our gaydar into overdrive, cheaters, drug-addicts, nice guys, assholes and the lucky gentlemen who we finally just told to suck it up and marry us.

She's a patient girl, that Waffle. She has put up with my moods, my whims, my bad judgment, my lofty ups and subterranean lows. She never judges, and is always game for a good time. Where I am whim and flights of fancy, she is smart, grounded and inquisitive. Where I am "let's just do this", she is "Let's just think about this a minute."
I show her that sometimes it's o.k. to just do things, and she shows me that sometimes it's a good idea to mull things over a bit and weigh the options.

I love all of my girls with the ferocity of a grizzly bear mother and would drive cross-country in a hurricane, blizzard and tornado to get them a cupcake, if they asked.

Waffle, though. Sometimes I think I owe her my life.

You don't read my blog- you think it's gross, which I find both pretty darn funny and more than slightly true.

But I still wanted to say happy birthday, my dear. I don't think I'd have made it this far without you.


Fran said...

That is one of the most beautiful passages on friendship that I have ever, ever read.

It says volumes about Waffle, but it also says volumes about you dear WM.

Reading this is a high point in my day. It makes me wish you were my BFF too.

You could have left the "Pube" part out though...

Happy Birthday Waffle!

punchlinewalking said...

I love it....there's nothing like an old friend! Happy Birthday Waffle, and happy birthday season to all!

Iheartfashion said...

What a great tribute to a good friend. I'd say she's lucky to have you!

Winter said...

Very cool, my real friends refuse to read my blog too.

L Sass said...

What an awesome friend!

And she was named after such a delicious breakfast food!

Amaya said...

Best friends are the sisters you get to choose. :)

McGone said...

"Waffle, Blondie and Hotpants." I think it's so cool that you're friends with a Roller Derby Team.

Happy Birthday, Waffle!

CDP said...

I hope she reads this. Happy Birthday to Waffle.

Christa said...

they called my bff fannie "choppin' broccoli" -- based on an SNL skit from that time -- because her perm had morphed into a stalk of broccoli likeness.

Whiskeymarie said...

She read it (I made her) and she requested that I call her something other than Waffle.

Yeah, I don't see that happening.

surviving myself said...

Your hair was awesome. Please go back to that look.

I promise it will increase your readers by at least 3.

kirby said...

Happy Birthday wishes to Waffle.

Ghost Dansing said...

happy birthdays.... neptune city

Gretta said...

I am so glad to read that you have friends who don't read your blog either. I totally think that is bullshit, but whatever. Maybe they really just can't read, and we don't want to embarrass them.

WHEN IS YOUR BERFDAY? Fernando will want to send a gift. Or an obscene phone message.

Stefanie said...

Birthday season sounds lovely (albeit expensive). And Waffle in high school looked just like one of my good friends in high school. Exact same hair, anyway. But then, lots of girls had that hair, I suppose.

pistols at dawn said...

Big Black's "Songs About F-ing" may be the best album cover ever.

Also, it's nice to know that if I actually had posted that idea I had, "Upside to Resurgent Russia: Fear's 'Bomb the Russians' Relevant Again," one person might have caught the reference.

Huzzah to you both.

T said...

Waffle actually doesn"t just look fat, she looks preggers in your pencil pictures. Gorgeous!

Happy Birthday, Waffle.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Geeeeez, get a room you two.

Lollie said...

When does Birthday Season end? I'm planning on sending a daily amorphous Happy Birthday for anyone to whom it applies until the season's over.


Happy Birthday!

Gwen said...

I wrote a sing for Waffle's birthday and it goes a little something like this:

"Berfday, berfday!
It's yer fecking berfday!"

I hope she likes it. It's better when I sing it in person.

Landis said...

damn you.

now, see, you made ME all teary eyed.