Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Something for nothing

I knew this would happen.

I brought it on myself, I have no one but stupid me to blame.

I'm getting sick. I can feel it getting worse by the minute. Ick, dammit, ick.

I kept bragging how I had gone all winter with out so much as a drippy nose or scratchy throat, and now I'm being punished by the god of vacations.
Now, I am feeling sorry for myself. Indeed, I am thoroughly immersed in wallowing at the moment.

Let it be known that I have not had a vacation like this EVER. I am a proud & confirmed workaholic, and the longest vacation I've taken in the last 8 years (where I've flown somewhere & stayed at a hotel, not on someone's spare futon) has been 5 days. Actually, more like 4-1/2. I am not a spoiled vacation whore, nor have I ever been. I let my passport lapse years ago because I realized that there was no chance of me going anywhere besides St. Paul or Duluth (or maybe...Wisconsin!), possibly ever.
So now, I am taking the big step, taking a full week, got a new passport, I'm flying, renting a nice hotel and basking in the beauty of it- and I feel like shit.

I was already down dispite the impending sicky-ness. My job is eating my soul a little, I'm bored with the everyday pieces of just...being, and I can't seem to find anything real to be excited about, vacation not included.

I keep waiting for something exceptional to happen.
I know, I'm supposed to MAKE it happen, blah, blah, blah.
I just have to think that isn't entirely how it works. I shouldn't have to constantly MAKE things happen. Can't they just...happen? Just once in a while?

Tonight I'll put a magic bean under my pillow, and tomorrow will be the day I've been waiting for- the day it begins.

Now, I know I put that bean here somewhere- maybe it's at the bottom of my purse with my keys and rolaids.


T said...

I got sick right before my honeymoon ... yup, had to buy overpriced Sudafed at the resort gift shop. I think, with an impending vacation, you finally allow yourself to let go and breathe a bit ... germs see an opening, and they march right in.

Take care of yourself and hopefully it'll all be over before you get on the plane. I'm terribly envious of your trip - it IS one of those exciting things you're looking for, you ingrate! ;-)

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

i can completely sympathize with this. the only thing i have taken significant vacation for in the last oh...thirty years...is either a trip to the dells (yahoo.) or to stay home with my sick children.

GO AND BUY SOME AIRBORNE AND TAKE IT RIGHT AWAY!!! take it every four-six hours. i am dead serious. it works!

at thirty years old, i have still not caught even a glimpse of the ocean. enjoy yourself!

ps said...

calm before the storm, baby! spring is almost here, and we'll all start to feel right again. :)