Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Good & Plenty's, Klonopin...who can tell the difference?

Anna's autopsy: For all the build-up surrounding it, the coroner's report yesterday on Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy was fairly straightforward. A laundry list of drugs (including Benadryl, Klonopin, Valium, Ativan, atropine, topiramate, ciprofloxacin) combined with sleep drug chloral hydrate to cause acute drug intoxication.

Wow. What a surprise.

My laundry list this past week & a half:

Ativan- two for the flight in, three for the flight out (going home always seems longer, don't you think?). I've got a few left that I'm saving, just for fun.

Zyrtec- The urgent care doctor told me to take this for my allergies. It makes me a zombie. Literally. I feel the need to eat human flesh- crazy, huh?

Advil- All day every day last week, on & off this week for the sickness that still lingers.

Flexeril- muscle relaxers, taken only when my back is killing me, or when I REALLY need a good night of sleep. Knocks me out for like, 10 hours.

Rolaids/Maalox- Go figure, my stomach is bothering me. And I normally have an iron stomach: super spicy, rich, exotic, freakish stuff normally has no effect. Today cereal bugs me.

Multi-vitamins- Well- they're pills, aren't they?

Omega-3 capsules- I have convinced myself that these will counteract all of the bad stuff that I subject my poor body to on a regular basis. Mmmm...fish breath. Sexy.

Benadryl- Taken most of last week for what was either pink eye or an allergic reaction to fun.

Welcome to my life, a.k.a. "Valley of the Dolls".

Baby, bring mommy her little helpers & go play outside with the neighbor boy. I don't care if he eats his own poop! Mommy needs her "quiet time".
Good girl...


Kate said...

I would have killed for a Benadryl last week in Mexico. I had an allergic reaction to the sun and had welts on my chest. Mynt. All I could find in the pharmacia (since no package was bi-lingual and I don't know what "antihistamine" is in Spanish) was chlor-trimeton, which did nothing except give me cotton mouth.

Okay, rant over.

A friend of mine took two Ativans on her wedding day. She was a total zombie at the reception. Oops.

Whiskeymarie said...

I paid $16.45 for my pack o'benadryl in the Bahamas, but probably would have paid $50, I was so desperate. The same size would have been $2.99 here.
I can't imagine getting married stoned on Ativan. It relaxed me enough to actually enjoy the flying, but it also made me pretty much completely forget both of those days. Gone. Obliterated.
I'm glad I have pictures to prove they actually happened.

Christa said...

hey. i was just going to write a post about how i OD'd on benadryl two nights ago. i think i still will. best. recreational. OTC. drug.

Whiskeymarie said...

Go ahead, I can't say enough good things about the stuff- it's my multi-purpose drug of choice. If it were illegal, I'd find a way to cook it up in my basement.

Once I was outside at dusk, gardening, and didn't notice that- no lie- I had about 150 mosquito bites covering my arms & back. I started feeling funny & shaking (probably "mosquito poisoning"- my term, feel free to use it), so I crushed up about 12 of them & added them to a cool bath. 10 minutes of soaking & the welts were gone.

And then I was very sleepy...

Kate said...

When I look at the pictures of my friend at the wedding, she's just zonked out. She had dead eyes and a perma smile and just kept walking aimlessly about the reception carrying a bottle of champagne. Considering that she was a total bridezilla, I'm guessing she really regrets pooping the pills and missing out on the memories.

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

benedryl rocks. it's my own sniffing, sneezing, coughing, aching, how the hell did i wake up on the kitchen floor medicine.

also works wonders on overactive children at bedtime. or so my friend said. ; )