Friday, June 13, 2008


I'm crazy busy today and I'm getting a ton of shit done (long overdue). Can't stop for good post. Or real sentences.

  • I saw a rather hugely chubby man driving a Dodge Neon today, and he was wearing earmuffs. Earmuffs. Not headphones, not ear buds- freaking earmuffs. People, it's over 70 degrees today.
  • Ever see someone, a total stranger, that you can only associate with one location, and then you see them out of "your own personal context" and it seems odd? That happened today. I saw I guy I can only recall as the obnoxious loudmouth tard from a bar by my house, but he was mowing the lawn at a nearby elementary school. Nice to see he's employed. I was reminded of a time when I ran into one of my students while grocery shopping. He wasn't the brightest bulb on the tree, and he says, "You go grocery shopping too? Cool." I guess in his head I didn't exist outside of the building I work in. Odd.
  • I have seriously listened to the Dandy Warhols' song "Minnesoter" approximately 439 times in the last few days, for whatever reason. I need to exorcise it from my soul and move on.
  • And, to whoever googled "marshmallow anus insertion silly" and ended up here: so sorry for your disappointment. If I get drunky at all this weekend maybe I'll give it a try. I'll keep y'all posted.
Have a great Friday my speedy little worker bees. Happy Friday.

Oh, And?

Pick a good one for me this weekend, will you?




kirby said...

Mr. Nosey there probably saves time and tissues when he has a cold by just sliding a tampon through his blow hole.

McGone said...

Your run in with the student reminded me of that scene in "Mean Girls" where the students see Tina Fey at the mall, and sweet Lord, that is the second time this week I have either made a "Mean Girls" reference or responded to a "Mean Girls" reference (thanks to Travelgretta).

I need to watch a football game or eat a steak or something.

John said...

On bullet #4, that was me. How did I think that was one of your titles?

Anonymous said...

My dad was a jockey. For quick weight loss he used to drive with a scarf, wool cap and heavy jacket around Miami in the dead of summer. He got pulled over.He would only crack the window a little while talking to the cop. He said the cop laughed his ass off when he explained what he was doing!
Boy, do I miss my dad stories. He was a trip!!


Siana said...

I got my prize today! I'm going to go out right now and start kissing boys:) Thank you, it was the most awesome prize I ever got and probably will ever get. Unless, of course, someone ties and gags Christian Bale and drops him off on my doorstep. Then that would be the best prize.

Fran said...

So wait... am I to understand that the man with the finger and nose issues is the one who was mowing the lawn?

Grant Miller said...

When did this blog get so classy?

Gwen said...

I did it on the first try!

(Shit. There's another one. Jeebus, this place is like a sobrirty cjeckpoint.)

Gwen said...

I'm reading this while 3/4 of the way through a bottle of Hogue and all I can think of as a comment is, "I love you. No seriously, I really, really do. I'm so glad you're my friend."

(Don't forget the 3/4 part when you read this. It has much to do with the sappy content. But I do love you. Crap, apaprently Hogue transforms me into John. Let's see if I can type my way through the word verification!)

Renaissance Woman said...

I'll bet the marshmallow thing would be sticky. Have a great weekend. Love the nose picker.

Stefanie said...

Ew on both the photo and the marshmallow thing.

As for people out of context... I once saw the woman who sells me stamps at the post office undressing in the gym locker room. She belongs behind the counter at the post office, not in my gym locker room! (Yeah, clearly I'm as bad as your student who thought you didn't go grocery shopping. Oh well.)

surviving myself said...

I can't believe you found that picture of me.