Thursday, May 24, 2007

Squirrels, hair and fish. Not necessarily in that order.

*You are about to waste approximately 2-3 minutes of your life reading today's post. No, I cannot give that time back to you.
You've been warned.

I hate talking about my hair. God, it even bores me.
But today, it can't be ignored.

I employed the services of a semi-famous local artist, Brucie Von Custardsnatch, to try and capture the beauty that is me and my flowing locks of brunette beauty today.


I'll be selling this on e-bay later today. My reserve is $100, so warm up your credit cards.

No, seriously, when did my hair start hating me?
When did I forget how to deal with this knotted, frizzy pile that appears to the untrained eye as if a small family of squirrels has nested on my noggin?

It's not as if I'm not armed with a full arsenal of products.

Exhibit #1:

This is what's in my bathroom at any given point. I may have a few more waaaaaay back in the cupboard.

I don't even have my "everyday" shampoo & conditioner pictured here.

Exhibit #2:

A drawer in my bedroom for "backup" products.
I have no less than 6 products specifically designed to combat frizz.

Creams, sprays, gels, leave-in conditioners, pudding...

For future reference- pudding, while seeming like a good & tasty haircare product, is best used as a good &tasty snack.

I shall be hiding out in my home, probably ordering more products online, until this dilemma can be solved. I may be here a while.
If an agreeable solution cannot be found, both parties involved will go their separate ways, taking only what they brought into the relationship in the first place. My hair will get custody of the kids, I get the couch.

Seems fair to me.


As I seem to be as interesting as oatmeal with skim milk today & feel the need to post pictures documenting my amazingly dull week, I may as well post what we had for dinner the other night:

I'm catering tonight, maybe I'll have a good story tomorrow- something about my wig falling into the lap of the guest of honor while I'm putting out the shrimp balls.

Or something like that.

Or not.

My lovely girl Mecca e-mailed and reminded me that I probably have nothing to complain about with my hair, when she has to deal with this monster on a daily basis:

And still, somehow the bitch always looks kitten-with-a-whip hot.

O.k. sweets, you win. My frizzies bow to yours.


ps said...

i'm sure it's not as bad as you think, dollface.

p.s. i sent the bf's sister a page of links to my favorite venues. but i excluded the one i want to use. does that make me a cruel bi*ch or what?!

Whiskeymarie said...

No, it makes you crafty and smart, the way I like my girls.

Butrfly Garden said...

BTW, I am extremely jealous of your arsenal supply.


Butrfly Garden said...


Sadly, I've recently given up on myself. I went to using only concealer and a little mascara (okay and a tiny bit shadow) instead of my full-on-hide-the-bags-make-me-pretty face I normally apply.

And then there's The Hair. Normally, I love my hair. But it's so in-between everything right now. I just let it be its flat yet foofy/frizzed out and curly/misbehavin' bad self.

Being ugly is easier than fighting. :) (Maybe. I only gave up on trying to make myself purrty for everyday stuff.)

Minnesota is Hell for Hair.

T said...

That (salmon?) looks scrumptious. Mmmm.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I think I might have you beat on the hair products. I've never tried pudding, though: props to your ingenuity.

Also? That meal looks delicious.

Sugar Kane said...

When did you sneak into my bathroom? You should have told me, we could've had a drink!

My hair is super curly. I'm talking full on white girl afro. Today is my every 6 week straightening appointment. The sad thing is it never stay straight.

Kate said...

Unsolicited advice: Two products.

1. Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum
2. Aveda Confixor.

I use the serum to straighten. Works like a dream. I use a combo of the two (mixed together in palm) to create frizz-free curls. Just mix, scrunch, and air dry. And don't touch. Fingers + hair = frizz.

Whiskeymarie said...

Miss K, I think you have mentioned the ONE Aveda product I don't have. I'll get on it. I'll get the Paul Mitchell stuff too. I guess there's still room in the drawer...

viciousrumours said...

First: I have NEVER in my life seen that many hair products. I own one thing of spray in I don't think I would even know what to do with most of that stuff.

Second: I hate food that is good for you, but whatever that is that you made and took a picture of? Yeah, I want some because it looks REALLY good!

Stacey said...

I have the same fight with my hair just about everyday. It hates me because I continually use heat products - but I gotta do what I gotta do.
It declared war on me a long time ago.

Brillig said...

My hair-care stash looks eerily similar to yours.

I live in Utah now, where it's always dry and my hair only has a hint of natural curl. Not enough to be curly, too much to be smooth. Super. That lovely rats-nest "in between" look. So I'm always either straightening it or curling or trying this and that to get it to do something, ANYTHING, but frizz out--which is where we typically end up despite everything I do.

But if I go anywhere where there's the slightest hint of humidity, I'm a big poofy ball of poodle-ness. Yikes. There is NO TAMING the wild hair beast. Therefore I "embrace" the curls and the frizz. Yeah...

feisty said...

the humidity has set in MN ladies, and no relief until the cold comes back....

i feel you. i'll be pulling my mop back until next winter.

Christa said...

someday i want to get ready in your bathroom. i'm going to use EVERY SINGLE ONE of those products.

i sound creepy.

mitzh said...

wow! you have a great collection of hair products. Am jealous... ;P

But I think your hair is pretty based on your pictures...

Then again, achieving for that perfect hair we all wanted isn't bad at all...

Anonymous said...

"kitten-with-a-whip hot" - my new favorite description of someone who is hot.