Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Little orphan Whiskeymarie
I live here.
This is where I grew up with my two sisters- one older, one younger.
It's not so bad here.
The weather kind of sucks- too hot in the summer, spring and fall are always too short, and sometimes the winters make you contemplate a slow and difficult suicide like eating lead-based paint chips- but hey, it could be worse.
My younger sister lives here. Right now, it is the beginning of monsoon season. Up until her moving here, I may have confused monsoon the weather phenomenon with monsoon, an imaginary venereal disease.
It is very hot there right now, a crazy kind of hot that I can only believe would make a delicate flower like me melt into a puddle of sticky but pleasant-smelling goo with cheap local jewelery floating in it.
This is a long way away from where I am.
But...up until today, I at least had comfort that my lovely older sister lived in the same state as I did. We were a mere 2.5 hours drive from a visit.
Not any more.
Today I brought her and her Husband to the airport so that she could move here. For at least 5 years.
I am officially a sibling-orphan.
I hope there is some sort of helpful group out there that pairs socially-"challenged" sib-orphs like myself with caring, nurturing "sisters" and "brothers" that will take me on family-oriented outings and the like.
We could go to a family reunion and start a fist fight.
We could go through old pictures while drinking several bottles of red wine & cry as we simultaneously laugh at our purple teeth.
We could get in a fight about who's more right about, oh, I don't know...ANYTHING, and then not speak for a month.
Or we could argue about who was the parental favorite (I'll let you in on a secret- I was.)
Any volunteers? I'm mostly potty-trained, I love to have the back of my ears rubbed, and I rarely hump on stranger's legs anymore.
Call 1-800-ADOPTME to speak with a sib-orph adoption specialist.
*30-day, limited, money back guarantee for any of the following defects: excessive humping, urinating while laughing in a cackling manner, public drunkenness, binge eating of cheese, identity theft, ultimate fighting, inappropriately tight clothing, bad judgment and flatulence.
No returns on comatose or incoherent adoptees. All terms subject to change without notice or long-term thought.