What we have made in the class I'm teaching right now in the last two weeks:
-4 kinds of sourdough bread
-pizza dough, so it stands to reason- pizzas
-Jalapeño cheese bread
-Cheddar potato bread
-Light rye bread
-Whole wheat bread
Next week includes, along with about 50 more breads- croissants, danish and more doughnuts.
How will my ass NOT look like two GIANT cream-filled, buttered & taped together breakfast pastries by the end of "The great Carbo load of 2007"?
Two more weeks.
Next summer's class- "Lettuce and turkey 45 ways! The road to emaciation is the road to fun and popularity!"
It's still hotter than the underside of Louie Anderson's balls today, so when I got home from work this afternoon, I put on my favorite summer skirt and a tank top before I went out to water the lawn.
As I am wont to do on these hellish days, I took off my sweaty thong & decided to go commando.
Outside, in the full sun with a hose in my hand, I saw the neighbor boy (15-16ish) tinkering around in his driveway, stealing looks at me. Unfortunately it wasn't in a "hey what a foxy old broad" kind of way, but in a "this may turn me gay" way.
I kind of ignored the fact when I got dressed that this particular skirt is relatively see-through when the sun is shining.
It is, in fact, the reason I started buying nude-colored thongs.
He saw the shadow of the pooner.
Poor boy. Hope this doesn't scar him too badly. Years from now we'll read about him getting arrested for trying to hump his neighbor's Great Dane. Or stealing copies of the AARP magazine for the Betty White photos.
The UPS guy just showed up with 2 packages. Again.
This time, one for me, one for the Mr.
Hello, my name is Whiskeymarie and I am in a dysfunctional codependent internet shopping relationship.
-Long white fitted linen shirt and 2 tank tops from La Redoute for me
-Geeky computer crap (probably a game- "Wizards of the Star Wars conquer Lord men of the Ring Pirate Donkey Donkey Donkey Vice Cities Robot Wars" or something) for him.
God, we are such consumer whores.
Next time anyone spots me with my laptop, a credit card and a glass of wine- please punch me in the face. It would save me a lot of money and trips to the post office returning things like assless chaps that were a "Great deal!!"
That's it, folks.