To the two people who recently Googled "What's wrong with me?" that ended up here:
The way I see it, there are two possible outcomes to this situation.
a) You take my nonsensical gibberish as truth and incorporate my teachings into your daily life. By day three you will have lost your job, gained 5 pounds, consumed your weight in both cocktails and caffeine, spent $6,839.78 online, stolen all of the neighbor's cats which are now all wearing cute little outfits, your house will be littered with Doritos bags and empty boxes of Cheez-its, and your friends will be planning a hilarious, yet somewhat embarrassing intervention.
b) You realize that you're really not that bad off and you go on your merry way- thankful that just when you think you're the biggest weirdo on the planet, someone like me comes along to give you perspective.
So, in closing- I'll say both "I'm terribly sorry" or "You're welcome", depending upon the outcome of your visit here.
Happy Sunday, my little googly interweb nuggets. Happy Sunday.