Sunday, January 25, 2009

Adventures in search engine land...

To the two people who recently Googled "What's wrong with me?" that ended up here:

The way I see it, there are two possible outcomes to this situation.

a) You take my nonsensical gibberish as truth and incorporate my teachings into your daily life. By day three you will have lost your job, gained 5 pounds, consumed your weight in both cocktails and caffeine, spent $6,839.78 online, stolen all of the neighbor's cats which are now all wearing cute little outfits, your house will be littered with Doritos bags and empty boxes of Cheez-its, and your friends will be planning a hilarious, yet somewhat embarrassing intervention.

Or,

b) You realize that you're really not that bad off and you go on your merry way- thankful that just when you think you're the biggest weirdo on the planet, someone like me comes along to give you perspective.

So, in closing- I'll say both "I'm terribly sorry" or "You're welcome", depending upon the outcome of your visit here.

Happy Sunday, my little googly interweb nuggets. Happy Sunday.

XO

16 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

(looking out the window and pondering while tears build up) - I didn't think anything was wrong with me...until now.

Kim said...

Damn it, now I wish I could remember how I found you that happy day sometime early last year, but I can't. I didn't think anything was wrong with me though; that is until I saw how cool you are.
I have a really stupid question now and feel free to mock - how do you find out how people get to your blog? I've tried and I've failed.
I is retarded.

WendyB said...

"A" is pretty much the story of my life. Have you been spying on me?

Lollie said...

What's wrong with me? Here's the answer I came up with after finding your blog:

C) Why am I not more like Whiskeymarie?

Lisa said...

I think you're very kind to provide such a service for free. And you didn't even have to deal with anyone googling naked stuff.

T.J. said...

I've shaken my head at some of the searches that have brought people to my site too. I think 'day old bread stores' is the best one.

On the whole 'what's wrong with me thing.....'

Well, I actually did this, and I have to say that despite your warning, I am alive and well, and living in the suburbs.

So to speak.

But, as for what is wrong with me... http://kvenya.blogspot.com/2008/12/existentialism-and-ebay.html

Aunt Snow said...

Aw...perhaps they'll stick around. There's something in the air here.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Awww, Happy Sunday to you, my favorite weirdo on the planet. Mostly because we are sisters in weirdness.

Giggle Pixie said...

So THAT's where that extra 5 pounds came from! I was blaming it on the holidays!

Harrrumph. Oh well. I'm still coming back for more. :-)

Student/Teacher said...

I love that feature of sitemeter. Someone from Africa got to my site by googling "fatties in action"


lol indeed.

surviving myself said...

But what about people who search for "naked man boob?"

Stacey said...

What's really wrong with them...is that they don't know better then to ask Google what's wrong with them.

They probably now feel like they have 875,625 kinds of diseases and mental illnesses and fungi and ,and...well who knows what else

pistols at dawn said...

I came here via the search, "How can I fake my own death to escape the credit card charges from all those online Doritos I keep buying?"

When are you going to shamelessly pander to my demographic?

Suze said...

Um, can you, perhaps, just send me a private email next time? Geez.

180|360 said...

HAHAHA!

You can bet your boots I won't be answering the latest/worst google search that brought someone to my blog:

"Cadbury Creme Egg in Vagina."

Doc said...

"consumed your weight in both cocktails and caffeine" sounds like a regular day here, but I have cut my Dorito addiction down to twelve pounds a week.

Doc