Thursday, February 14, 2008

Tomorrow: an extensive list of things I find ugly, itchy, uncomfortable, ill-fitting or particularly annoying.

Today is that day. The sappy, cheesy, syrupy sweet day where couples across the globe are reminded to show their love for one another by buying overpriced flowers, chocolates and ill-fitting unders. Tonight, fueled by marginally okay food and champagne from a local eatery, millions of men and women will enjoy mediocre making of the love followed by much "talk" about "feelings".

Valentine's Day? For me? Not so much.
I don't ignore it completely, but I refuse to get sucked into the hype. I prefer to keep it so low-key that it almost doesn't exist. I get amazing gifts for my birthday & xmas- I don't need an expensive bauble or FTD "love me do" bouquet to know my Mr. loves me.
If you're into it, great. Enjoy the day, embrace it, wear a red sweater and hand out candy hearts. Bless your heart for making up for us surly types.


That being said, and my surly demeanor aside- in the spirit of the day I will show you some things in my life that make me ooze love from my every orifice:


Where the magic happens, part one.
I love my little kitchen, as the first few restaurants I cooked in had the smallest kitchens imaginable. The phrase "nuts to butts" comes to mind. I got used to tight quarters and learned to utilize space really well. I especially love the retro cabinet above the stove where we store dozens of vintage glasses that we almost never use.


I love my sleek, sexy bitch Pooter. She's cold and aloof, but I like that in a woman.



Where the magic happens, part two.
The secret is out- I never make my bed. Ever. And it doesn't bother me one darn bit.
But I love love love my comfy, cozy little sleepy love nest.




I love my awesome new coat/dress from Club Monaco. It has a subtle shine and slightly puffy 3/4 sleeves. I anticipate wearing the crap out of this.


I love my new Juicy Couture dress that I got for about $35. It's simple red jersey with little fabric roses at the ends of the tie at the waist. I can't wait for warmer weather/our New Orleans trip to wear it.



I love high heels, though I seem to never have a reason lately to wear them. I guess I need to start finding reasons, as I have a ton of them and I'm tired of hearing their muffled crying every time I put on my ugly Dansko boots for work.

Maybe I should start wearing them around the house, with my jammies.



I love that I can buy my Mr. the exact same $2.99 box of chocolates each year and it makes us both so happy. Ralphie would be so proud.




I love that I don't work until afternoons, so I can lounge around the house all morning in my jammies practicing my karate moves. I also love my worn-out and holey cashmere hoodie. I only wear it at home, so I'm going to say it's not sad that I wear something so trashy.



I love that my favorite lip balm is now also in gloss form. This stuff is like crack to me. I use it so much that I wouldn't be one bit surprised to find out that there was a 2 pound blob of it in my lower intestine somewhere.


I think I love these, though I haven't tried them yet. The caramel/dark chocolate/salt combo makes me quiver with anticipation. I long for it to be in my mouth. I lust for it's salty creaminess.



Oh yeah, and I guess I love this delectable little piece of man-meat:



Happy love day, my little squares of luscious, dark chocolate-covered ecstasy nuggets.
XO

34 comments:

nancypearlwannabe said...

A lip gloss I've never tried?! Must... not... buy...

wafelenbak said...

Where did you get your bed?? I love the headboard! (and I never make my bed anyway--who cares? I'll just mess it up in 12 hours again anyway)
I also love your retro-y kitchen.
And the dress. And the shoes. Good choices. :)

feisty said...

that bit about "a two-pound blob of lipstick in my stomach" made me spit coffee on my monitor at work!

so, did you make that headboard? i like it, and have had a "how to make your own headboard" article sitting around my house for 2 years.

colors in your kitchen are funky. love it.

Mariposa said...

Ha! Love your shoes! Happy hearts day! ;)

Whiskeymarie said...

NPW- Buy it...buy it...

wafelenbak- The Mr. made the headboard per my instructions. I love it. It actually just hangs on the wall- how very clever of us.

feisty- see above. Sorry to make you spit.
;)

McGone said...

You forgot to add "And all of your blogs..." to your list of things that cause love to ooze.

Just lie to us. You know how sensitive we can get.

Nocturnal said...

Your hubbie looks cold as ice rocker style. You guys stay stay warm up there and happy vd.

Cheers

Whiskeymarie said...

mariposa- I knew the shoe pics would make the ladies happy.

McGone- My love for y'all is a subtle, delicate thing. It is a tiny blossom dotted with morning dew. It is a whisker of a kitten's nose. It is the gentle swaying of wheat in a field, it is...

Fuck it. You all know that my love for you is like a NASCAR fan's love of pizza rolls and Budweiser. It's clumsy and sometimes embarrassing, but at least it's real.

3carnations said...

I saw the following in an internet FTD ad: It showed a silhouette of a man handing a woman flowers, a blind lowering and the following tagline:

"Give some, get some."

CDP said...

Happy Valentine's Day WM!

Suze said...

Happy Valentine's Day from one non-bed maker to the other.

T said...

Nice jammies, WM. ;-)

I'm mostly with you about the holiday, the Hallmarky-ness and such, but I also don't think it's so bad to have one day set aside to celebrate love.

Gwen said...

MWAH! Back atcha!

I think my post came off a lot more snarky than I meant for it to be. I'm now in a fight with my mom over it - add two more people to the long list of those who will end the day disappointed. I think I'll soothe myself with some of that lip gloss. I lost mine at mardi Gras.

Have a great VD, WM!

-R- said...

I will be at your house later tonight to steal that chocolate. The fact that I don't know where you live will not stop me.

viciousrumours said...

Funny is: Going to leave a comment on Valentines Day and seeing that there are already 14 comments.

Okay, so that may only be funny to ME... I'm so glad to see that there are so many non-bed makers out there. And tell the Mr. that I adore the "Would you take the damn picture already?" look he has on his face. It makes me want to be his friend, because those are the kinds of people I migrate too.

LOVE...and I mean that in the cheapest, boxed wine kind of way....

Chiada said...

The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the picture of your bed is that it looks like an old woman wearing beige slacks and a white T-shirt is standing near the head of the bed and is leaning over with her head and arms under the blankets. Huh.

Also, I think that's the most I have ever seen of a picture of your Mister. He's so mysterious! There's like a whole 2 inches of skin on his face showing.

:)

Courtney said...

There are people that actually make their bed everyday??? Like when guests aren't even there to appreicate it? Weird.

Gretta said...

Okay, that bed looks made to me. Covers up? Bed made.

And please tell me the story of the Juicy Couture dress!!!!

gorillabuns said...

I give the same damn box to my husband every year as well.

and the shoes, NEED to worn whenever, whereever. they totally work with pj bottoms.

NotSoccer Mom said...

oh that was so not surly!

i WANT that chocolate...

Stacey said...

I feel you on the not in to the hype. Sure hubby and I have had our share of "lets try and rush out to dinner after a long work day and become frustrated at the crowds just because it's Valentines Day" type days but yeah I'm pretty much over it. I've never quite understood the mortgage the house just to buy a present on this one particular day attitude though.


Althought we did get trinkets for the wee ones. I couldn't resist.

Whiskeymarie said...

3carn- That? Is pretty hilarious.

cdp & suze- back at 'cha girls!

Maurey- Yeah, the jammies are pretty cute. I wonde where I got them? Hmmm...

gwen- Get the lip gloss, love it, buy it dinner. Lip gloss always loves you back. ;)

-r- I keep all the chocolate in the trailer park cookie jar by the fridge- if that helps.

viciousr- The Mr. ALWAYS has that look on his face. He hates when I take his pic.

chiada- I had to look at the pic again, and you're right! Get out of my house, old lady- what are you doing to my bed???

courtney- I don't get the bed-making thing either. Never will.

tgret-clearance at Nordstrom Rack, plus 40% of for some reason. Go figure.

gbuns- I think I'll start wearing them to clean the house, "Helen the horny housewife" style.

notsoccer- I want the chocolate too- NOW!

WM- Maybe you and the hubby can find time this way to celebrate the holiday in that "special" way only two consenting adults can. (wink)

...you know- drinking yourselves silly and falling asleep before midnight. Woo-hoo!

Stefanie said...

I love your comforter/quilt, love the dress, love the little bow heels, love the Ralph Wiggum reference, and must have that chocolate. Also, I bought that same lip gloss last week.

P.S. Have you ever had the sea salt mini-brownies from Trader Joe's? It's like taking a brownie and dipping it in the ocean! (Except it actually tastes good.)

sassyl'illady said...

Perhaps you can persuade Devilham that his kitchen would be more awesomer in a color other than white.I love,love,love the cabinet above the stove. We never make our bed around here. Screw hospital corners, how can I steal the comforter effectively with the sheets tucked in?!

Katrin said...

That kitchen is tiny! When my bf and I cook, we get so passionate about it (me=traditional, him=experimental) that we need all the space we can get! We only fight in the kitchen, nowhere else...
Yummy chocolate!

diatribes and dish said...

That chocolate looks soooo good ... much better than the "Hooked on You" chocolate trout that my sweetie gave to me. Where'd you get it? I think I need it.

BadWims said...

here's to homemade, do-it-yourself 'Love Day' celebrations. the Mrs and I dined in our sweatpants and t-shirts. She whipped up a rare, hanger steak, scalloped potatoes and seared bok-choy. We drank sangria and watched the boys from 'Jackass' abuse their testicles and we laughed like idiots.

Iheartfashion said...

Yesterday was Valentine's Day...oops.
Great list, esp. the salty caramels. And nice headboard...what a talented man!

barbie2be said...

i love that your cat's name is pooter. my cat's name is moo but i call him pooter all the time.

i also love that chocopologie bar... yum!

Hybrid Fat-n-Sassy said...

Me and Petey celebrated Valentine's Day on sunday night by going to Convention Grill for bacon cheeseburgers, fries and a hot chocolate malted. I got sick to my stomach, but it was worth it.

domboy said...

As much as I admire and respect you, I must disagree and say that Valentine's day is the most important holiday of the year. From the overpriced meal to the heartfelt attempts of sincere expression that always seem to go to hell, it's all precious.

ps said...

i heart your new coat.

Butrfly Garden said...

I love that little valentine..I think of ralphie every time! (We also get one like that on the back of the Little Debbie Snack Cake boxes).

I'm not a VDAy lover. I did buy Mike a can of mixed nuts...because that's what I do all year when I want him to know I'm thinking of him while at Wally World.

I do love me some VDay candy, though.

Landis said...

man-meat
and
salty creaminess
should be used with extreme caution.

if mixed improperly, the sound. . .
improper.

just sayin.