Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Mom always said that it's good to share.

Today is the day that some of us are participating in "Blogshare": a large group of bloggers posting anonymously on other people's blogs for one day. This concept was started by -r- of And you know what else fame and she is gracious enough to coordinate a ton of blogs for this.
I don't know why I do it, as I have no secrets I keep from y'all, but it is kind of fun to have a "guest blogger" on my own page for a day.

So, that being said, today's post is not written by me. It is from another blogger from another blog on planet Blogovia:

I generally am a ridiculously open book on my blog, so I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to write about now that I can be anonymous. This time around, I think I'll take the approach of telling a story that I wouldn't post on my own blog because it makes me sound like a horrible person. Hell, for all I know, I've already posted it on my own blog and I've just forgotten. But here goes.
When I was in high school, I had what can only be termed a MegaCrush on a certain boy, who we will call Bill if for no other reason than the fact that I would probably never find myself attracted to a guy named Bill. Except shit, I once had a crush on an actual boy named Bill, but whatever. BILL.
My crush was completely absurd, because not only did I have this crush - I was extremely shy. I wasn't one of those girls who would tell someone I had a crush on a guy and hope he found out. NO WAY. Instead, I would have been mortified if he had known. This could, of course, be why I didn't have any boyfriends in high school and could also be a sign that I was not exactly the most self-assured of teenagers. But I digress. I even once set Bill up with another girl in order to throw him off the track of thinking I had a crush on him, because I really could not bear the thought of rejection.
Silly Anonyblogger-in-teenage-years.
Well, this crush was so excessive that it...well, it lasted. Throughout college, in fact. I mean, sure, I had a completely different boyfriend and went to a school that Bill did not attend, but I swooned anytime I saw him when I went home to visit or anytime I heard updates about him from another friend. I loved me some Bill.
I liked Bill because he was ridiculous and, well, more human than the other boys I knew. When the other boys were being macho and cool, Bill was doing things like crashing his car into a tree (completely sober, mind you) and singing in the high school chorus. I liked Bill because he was a complete and utter mess.
And, well, the crush continued on despite the fact that I saw him once a year.
It turned out that my best friend from college married one of Bill's best friends, which meant that my connection to Bill - tenuous as it was - continued on, so that I heard through the grapevine one day that he was engaged to his college sweetheart.
And it just so happened that I ended up at the same bar, with the same group of friends, as Bill - almost ten years after college and about a month before Bill's wedding. And because I am no angel, and with the aid of more than a few beers and perhaps a drink or two of Maker's Mark and ginger ale with a twist, I found myself talking to Bill and saying the following evil words: Bill, it's a DAMN shame you're getting married in a month, because I had a crush on you all through high school.
I'm not proud. Okay, fine, I'm an even worse person than I'm letting on, because I actually am a little proud. That took guts, y'all. Not only did it take got results. We spent the rest of the evening talking about how he, in fact, had had a crush on me as well. !!!! (OMG) !!! And then, dear readers, it happened. Two weeks before his wedding, Bill called the whole thing off.
And I saw Bill at a 4th of July party the next month (we were living in different states at the time), and he told me that I played a role in the wedding cancellation.
And then I made out with him. And, because i was going through a floozy and apparently-horrible-person phase, I also later that night found myself kissing another engaged guy while his fiance was asleep upstairs. And then even later that night, kissing another guy who I'd known since Kindergarten, and you can judge me for this, but all I can say is (a) the guy was a freakin' Green Beret, and if that didn't sound paradoxically H-O-T to my little liberal tree-hugging anti-war soul, well, I dont' know what did; and (b) well, shit. I had never been the girl that all the guys wanted to make out with before, and before common sense about my harlot-like behavior could kick in I instead was just enjoying myself. Sue me. But I digress.
Unfortunately, what Bill didn't tell me was the fact that another girl from high school had ALSO confessed to having a crush on him, and that I wasn't the SOLE reason he called off his wedding.
And Bill also didn't tell me that he was STILL, ten years later, a complete and utter mess.
And he also didn't tell me (because, really, how could he know?) that I would no longer find the idea of being with a man who was a complete mess quite as attractive as I did in my high school days and that I might not find it fun to semi-long-distance-date a guy who was still receiving calls from his ex-fiancee and juggling me, her, and the other girl who played a role in the cancelling of his engagement. Whoops.
All's well that ends well, though, I suppose, as Bill later got back together with his college sweetheart, and then married her, and then joined the Peace Corps and moved to Africa with her.
But I can't help feeling a teensy bit guilty (and yet, oddly proud). Whether that makes me a horrible person or not, well, you can just keep your thoughts on it to yourself.
The End.


Anonymous said...

I commend you on finding the courage to confess your crush, albeit at an inopportune time.

Making out with 3 guys in one night...Eh, not for me. Closer to swinging than I'd ever care to come.

A guy I had a crush on all through high school "confessed" his supposed crush on me during a party my senior year when I was drunk for one of the first times. He was putting some moves on me at the time (which may have contributed to said supposed recipro-crush), and my friend's boyfriend was kind enough to pull him off of me and say "She's drunk. Don't." Thank you.

Sauntering Soul said...

One of my brothers is named Bill. I don't think you'd have a crush on him though. But I kept picturing my brother while reading this story. Gah.

I am certainly not judging you as a horrible person. I've done enough things I'm not proud of to judge someone else. :-)

lizgwiz said...

I was exactly the same way in high school. Terrified that the object of my affection might figure it out. So silly.

But I think now that, even if the opportunity ever presents itself, I'll just keep that information to myself. Hee.

A blog share participant who is pretty sure she knows who wrote this said...

I think you have actually told this story on your own blog (or, portions of it, anyway), but this retelling (or rather, more complete telling) was hilarious anyway.

I related to many, many pieces of this post. Seriously, it's like you are ME!! Perhaps that is why I like you so much. :-)

nancypearlwannabe said...

That is a REALLY LONG TIME to harbor a crush! My crushes usually lasted about four seconds before I either acted on them or forgot about them. Way to hang out to that.

Gwen said...

Ah yes, the lure of unrequited love. I have one of those myself. I've known him since 1989 and still swoon when he walks in a room. I'm glad you got The Bill our of your system!

Anonymous said...

I was the same way in high school. And there are also a few crushes that I had for a ridiculously long time.

Your story cracks me up.

Elise said...

You're not a horrible person! That was hilarious, and I think that most of us have had a multi-person makeout night at some point, and if we haven't, it's only because the circumstances didn't line up just so.

I loved this story. Now I'm gonna have to find you so I can read more of the same :)

claire said...

That's hysterical. Love this post and you're totally not a horrible person. HA! And if you haven't had a multi-person makeout night, you just haven't lived. That's what i say.

Kate said...

Love this post too. Making out with a Green Beret? I would SO totally do the same thing. That's hella hot, and I hug me some trees too.

Ghost Dansing said...

green beret

Noelle said...

I would be totally proud to think I broke up a wedding. For a second. Then I'd feel really bad, but I know that proud would come first.

Katrin said...

You rock! Loved the post. :)

LittlePea said...

Oh don't feel bad anonymous person because I too told Bill I had a crush on him....


The Grand ChaHee said...

Wow. I know I didn't write that, but, talk about deja vu. Except it wasn't a Bill and I wasn't a girl...

But I totally know how you feel... and I know why you think you should feel bad... but don't--believe me, if all it took was telling your high school crush you had/have a crush on them back in high school/right now to stop said crush from getting married, believe me Willie Johnson (his real name) would have been mine!

lisaschaos said...

You don't sound that horrible to me. At least you only kissed three guys on the same day, right? I've done that before, many moons ago. I think it took guts to confess to him and I'm pretty happy for you that you didn't end up marrying him.

Anonymous said...

There is no reason to feel guilty. Many people have had crushes confessed to them prior to getting married AND NOT CALLED OFF THE WEDDiNG.

Landis said...

i find this story stale. i mean who HASN"T done this? plus, "bill" is a weak made up name.

bring back whiskey names and euphemisms.