Monday, September 17, 2007

Quit poking my bum!

I don't have time for much today, but here are a few pictures I took en route to my (hopefully) last catering gig with the "dramatic" caterer.

This was a 1/2 block from my house. As I was pulling out of my driveway to leave, I saw one of those GIANT firetrucks pull up to my neighbor's house. Seems someone called about the possibly dead man in a recliner in their yard.

I say these neighbors were pretty much begging for a bum to pass out in their front yard. Don't park your unwanted la-z-boy out there and not expect someone to pass out in it. It's a nice neighborhood, but we seem to have a touch more than the average number of drunkies here. Duh.

Here they are, trying to wake him up.
(click the pic for better bum-o-vision)

He looks comfortable, and it was a lovely morning.
If I hadn't had somewhere to be, I may have snuggled in there with him for just a little more sleep.

I love that they pretty much just poked him to see if he was alive or not. Poke. Poke.

He's alive!!!

And comfortable- let the man rest, will ya?

This Mad Dog 20-20 hangover isn't going to sleep itself off, you know.

If you or anyone you know is considering a career in either bummery or the hobo arts, I suggest you start doing your homework.
A quality bum is an educated bum, I say.

Maybe more on my weekend later, after work. I'll try to think of the non-hobo related things that happened, if there were any.


Failcooks said...

I love the word "bum"! Emily always used to say it and I would giggle every time. "Homeless" or "indigent" are so much more PC, but "bum" is really more descriptive after all. And so much funnier!

aubrey said...

hilarious. bum poker. i'm a big fan of the neighborhood snapshots. i linked over here from brillig's blog. thanks for a good laugh.

Stacey said...

Did you see you got linky love over at Brillig's joint ? You're such a rockstar, WM!

How utterly convenient that the "bum" found the recliner. And even more convenient that you were able to capture it on film for our enjoyment.

kimmyk said...

HA! The least they could have done was bring him some munchies or somethin. I know I'm always hungry when I wake up.

Stefanie said...

I love how poking the bum was a four-man job. Our taxpayer dollars at work.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I got to say that blue rasberry MD 20/20 looked mighty tasty in that link you provided.

Nature Girl said...

that's hilarious. poor guy..just needed a rest is all...I hope they didn't take him to the pokey.

yeah..lame I know...but I couldn't resist!

McGone said...

@mrb: I think you are getting your terms confused. "The Homeless" are people you pay to fight each other. "Bums" are to be hunted for sport.

Subtle, but distinct differences. Print this out and take it with you to avoid a future social faux pas.

Flenker said...

ahh Mad Dog. Nothin' like a good bum wine to get you very sloppily drunk, enough to pass out in an abandoned recliner.

Lollie said...

Bum may come from the word "bummer."

1. slang
A difficult or unpleasant thing
Example: She failed again? What a bummer!2. A lazy or idle person.

Etymology: 19c in sense 2: perhaps from German Bummler loafer.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Wow, a recliner in a public area? I know where I'm heading if I ever find myself homeless.

Shannon Erin said...

I could use a nap in a recliner on the street right about now. Looks mighty comfy.

Anonymous said...

So glad you clarified it was a bum. With the trash can next door, I was thinking someone was tossing out their old man on trash day.


TwistedNoodle said...

I'm not a PC sort of person. So here is a joke for you all.

Did you know that we now have a solution for the homeless problem?

Why no I didn't.

Yep, we're just going to call them Outdoorsmen.

Snorkle, snorkle, snort, snort, bwahhh.

H said...

That is fantastic. And the mention of Mad Dog sure brings back some memories. There's nothing like getting hammered on glorified church wine.

Suze said...

Hey WM - can you send my dad back home when he wakes up? Thanks much.

Whiskeymarie said...

mrb- bumbumbumbumbumbumbum...

Aubrey- Welcome, hope the lame post doesn't scare you off.

Other WM- I seriously almost peed my pants when I saw him. I braked so hard that the guy behind be laid on his horn & shook his fist at me.

Kimmyk- I really should have brought him some Doritos and dip, I know.

Stefanie- I know- four burly firefighters and a huge truck for one drunk. Seriously, guys...?

Monkeyman- I have only partaken of the fluorescent orange variety, about 15 years ago. I really should try it again. Maybe we can make it cool to drink, if it doesn't kill us.

Stacie- I know, I wondered if I had handed this guy a plate at the soup kitchen ever. Poor drunky dude.

McGone- You can imagine my embarrassment, having confused the two. Thank you for the clarification.

Flenks- I know! And, who would have thought that there was an entire website dedicated to bum wines? God bless America.

Lol- that's a real bummer.

NPW- Yeah, I'd like to say it's the first I've seen in my 'hood, but... not so much.

Shannon- I did too. I checked today and the recliner is gone. Good thing too, because it's raining in sheets today.

Anon Patti- Ha! I didn't even notice that! Maybe he was destined for the dump- who knows?

Twistednoodle- I LOVE that joke, and now I love you even more.

h- I know- I get a headache just thinking about it.

Suze- No problem- I'll send him over after he finishes washing my car. It's amazing what people will do for $5 these days.

aubrey said...

oh, no worries. i've heard you're the funniest, so i'm pretty sure i'll be checking in.

Butrfly Garden said...



Cherann said...

If you leave a Lazy boy out, "They will come".

Do you think that if you leave some Calvin Klein underwear out, that a Calvin Klein Model will come? I think you should try it. What's the worst that can happen right?

Kristina said...

"False alarm.: A caller in the 2000 block of XXXXXX Boulevard reported seeing a body in the woods. It turned out to be somebody sleeping."

Similar date, in the star trib police least your guy found a chair!