My favorite time of year. Gone are the light fabrics, unwittingly exposed skin, sweaty cleavage wet spots and "flip flop" feet.
I am aching to usher in the fall clothing. Wool, cute jackets, chunky heels, tights, and sweaters, sweaters, sweaters. And boots. I miss you, boots.
I have never liked summer clothes all that much. In May & early June the novelty is still there, and the light skirts, tank tops and sandals still seem charming. By August, I'm caring so little that pajama bottoms and a stained t-shirt from 1995 seems like an acceptable outfit. I've pretty much lived in wife be**ers for the last month now. I own about 30 and have just kept up a steady rotation. It's really sad. Especially on the days I don't bother to shave my pits. Luckily the intervention I was expecting never materialized- I pictured my Mr. pinning me down while my friends cut up my offending garb, me crying and mumbling "I don't have a problem. You guys have the problem...".
I had given up hope and needed saving- it happens like clockwork for me. Until the temp holds out in the low-70's I'm a fashion retard.
Heat aside, normally I have my shit together, clothes-wise. I shop like a ninja- quick and exacting, scoring odd pieces that I can generally force into some sort of ensemble that at the very least can be called "interesting". I'm a cheap-ass tightwad when it comes to clothes too- I have never spent more than $30 on good cashmere, and I really don't think I've ever spent over $40 on a pair of jeans. And I love thrift and vintage shopping - as I've said before, I love other people's old shit. Love it. I'm so excited about clothes right now I could spank myself.
So, thank you fall. I'm happy you're back. Shopping will commence shortly.
I've been poring over catalogs, trolling the internet, looking at what I already have, and basically just trying to stop myself from draining the bank account just so I can look cute.
Not entirely sure what I'm going to get (you know I'll post pics as purchases are made), but I can tell/show you -without a doubt- a few things I'm NOT going to be sporting this fall.
(warning- these pictures are graphic- graphically ugly, that is. And, sorry to any of you that my be workin' any of these looks. You are obviously a stronger person than I am, or you are 22. You can wear anything at 22.)
These boots make me want to find each and every member of the "Bangles" and kick the crap out of them, while wearing these lovelies, of course.
Walk like an Egyptian, my ass.
Maybe I hate these more than I should, maybe I'm being unreasonable, but I truly hate these with every fiber of my being.
This is a look I like to call "when pirates mate with Eskimos".
Knickers and muk-luk-ish boots, with a ruffly shirt.
And, I suspect that is a vest peeking out at the top of the picture.
This is what happens when you leave Adam Ant (who I must say, yum yum back in the day...) and a group of Renaissance Festers locked in a room with too many bottles of ye olde mead for too long.
They end up collaborating on a fall fashion line.
Here we have the "Urban bag lady"
If an outfit makes a 5'11", 85-pound model look like, well...
I have to wonder how well any of us would fare.
But hey, honey- the cute wedgies pull it all together, don't you think?
This falls into the "seriously?" category.
From the waist down, things are fine, but that jacket.
You need to look closely at these two, click on the pic for a better look.
I bet that turquoise number will be a big hit with the S. Florida lady-retirees. I imagine they will wear it with gold tennies and swishy nylon pants with zippers at the bottoms.
I'm assuming the dress is some sort of high-end halloween joke. Or a bumblebee outfit for the rich and mentally unstable. I hope so anyways.
There seems to be a fair amount of "haute Eskimo couture" going on this year.
I am confused by this vest.
This vest makes baby jeebus cry.
And finally, visual proof of something I suspected all along:
When fashion designers get bored, they simply raid the closets of 45 year-old unmarried, cat-loving, harlequin-romance reading, painkiller-popping, diet RC cola-drinking secretaries named Delores who bought their entire wardrobe at Montgomery Ward in 1983 for inspiration.
Either that or they hate us and think it's funny when we look bad.
Happy Fall- glad it's finally here.
Oh, and- Happy Friday, my little rosebud corsages.