Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I promise the next post (after this one) won't be gross. Really, I promise.

My previous post just reminded me of something that happened many years ago.

Quick story:

I lived with 2 other girls in a big apartment in Duluth. I had very short, dark hair, by BF Waffle had long, jet black hair, and our third roomie, Granola, had really long, light brown-red hair.

One morning I plodded into the bathroom, sneezing and sniffling from what I thought was allergies. I blew and blew my nose, but that "tickle" was still there. And my throat itched too.

I glanced in the mirror and saw something sticking out of my left nostril.
It was a 1/2" hair.
Holy crap! Are my nosehairs out of control or what?, I thought.

I tugged at the offender, but it wasn't attached.

I pulled and pulled, and more just kept coming out- kind of like the "scarf in the sleeve" trick scary half-assed magicians do.

All in all, I pulled about 18" of hair (singular) out.

I had somehow inhaled, and swallowed WITHOUT NOTICING, one of Granola's hairs at some point.

I stopped sneezing, though, and my throat felt better.

But I felt a little pukey, so I went back to bed.

The end.

Label: Disturbing party tricks

P.S. If you have a minute read this- make sure you don't miss the accompaning mug shot. God I love my weird, weird city.

21 comments:

JahFreedom64 said...

Oh yeah.... and don't try and compost the hair clippings.....
Nothing worse than picking out 6 month old hair clumps from the pile before adding it to the garden!!!
Looked like a CSI episode in our backyard.

Shannon Erin said...

Eeeew. This was WAY grosser than the hairy drain monster story.

3carnations said...

Ew. That was definitely worse than the drain story. As far as the drain is concerned...Eh, I've seen bigger hairballs. But someone else's hair in my nose? Ew.

kerrianne said...

I just sort of unconsciously coughed after reading this, thinking about hairs down my throat and in my nose and such. It's still a great story, though.

(By far the scariest part of "The Ring" for me: the part where Naomi Watts pulls that weird monitoring device out of her mouth. I was literally writhing in my seat.)

Suze said...

Ewww. Ewwww. Ewwww.

About the robber, it appears perhaps he was trying to get money for his "wonky eye" syndrome. I heard it is running rampant in that part of the states :)

Fran said...

Eeew is right but I will say this and with great respect (as in - barkeep, bring my friend WM whatever she wishes please!)...

You say what no one else will. That's a pretty great quality. Gross, but great.

Barkeep....

Kate said...

Captain ToeLicker's mug shot is priceless. Could he look MORE crazy?

Cherann said...

I don't believe you. I think you should re-enact the whole thing and take pictures...or better yet, post it on you tube.

Jess Wundrun said...

I want to dress up as the foot sucker for Halloween!

LaLa said...

Wow. That is quite the gag-making story!

Reminds me (only a little) of a friend who insists she always gets one long hair stuck down the middle of her cleavage. Like it's a usual thing. (She's the only one I know...)

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I guess giving you a hair shirt for Christmas would not be an option then.

And I'm glad Coolio found something to keep him occupied now that his career is in the toilet.

Rebecca said...

really gross, whiskey.

Katrin said...

Interesting story. Both of them! The mugshot has made my day.

Sandy said...

I get the Mrs. hair caught in awkward places too. Awkward enough that I won't tell you about it.

Jon said...

That might be the best mug shot ever. But the story wasn't very clear.. did you end up letting him lick your toes?

LittlePea said...

Omigosh! I'm not sure which made me laugh more. Ok I have to say it's that mugshot!

Thankfully I've never inhaled any hair before-especially since mine is long. But it's definitely less gross to have that happen to than to have a toe-sucking burglar! So don't don't feel bad.

Mair said...

Oh my SWEET LORD.

Lollie said...

Gross: My little brother used to hold one end of a spaghetti strand and swallow the other end...then he'd slowly pull it out of his gullet.

Grosser: A very long-haired dancer friend of mine liked to tell a story where she pulled a sturdy, long strand out of her butt one morning.

Grossest: Your hair snorting story. I actually gagged while you were describing the strand's ascent.

Nocturnal said...

That's a David Blaine number right there.

Cheers

T said...

Yich.

The only thing better would have been if you'd grabbed the other end and pulled it through your sinuses out your mouth.

Butrfly Garden said...

I heard that story - but the mug shot brings and entirely new HILARIOUSLY FUNNY aspect to the story.

Now...the hair...EW.

(TMI: I had the same kind of experience only it involved a bodily opening a little further south and my own hair. How it got wrapped around my N.Ring is beyond me. But it made me feel icky.)