Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Tell me why the hell I put up with you again? Oh, wait, sorry. It's the other way around...

My moral barometer/husband and myself have been together a looooong time. 1/3 of my life, to be exact (I just realized that today and I can't decide if that makes me feel special, "special" or just old). We just found out this summer that some of my relatives openly discussed how brief our blessed union would be. Most guessed 6 months. I actually never thought we'd go this long either, and now I'm way too lazy to ever date again. I'm such a train wreck I could do my own reality-dating show, and I don't think that would be good for anyone involved.

He's a better person then I am, I'm lucky every day he's in my life, and here are 10 reasons why:

1. Once, I forgot what day his birthday was & did the "happy birthday" thing a day late. This would have been o.k. if we were still in the "getting to know you" phase, but I think we had been married 5-6 years at this point. I still think this is funny.

2. I also very often (every year) have to ask him, "what day is our anniversary again?". I personally think this is also pretty freaking funny. I think he thinks I'm joking.

3. He almost never gets drunk, therefore he is the best present I could have EVER hoped for- my own designated driver.

4. He lets me decide what pizza to order. He wasn't overcome with joy by the first pineapple, sausage & jalapeno beauty, but he's come around. BEST PIZZA EVER. Really. No, Really.

5. He has NEVER "been too tired" when I am soberly or drunkenly groping him at all hours. He's always game. And, he still thinks I'm hot.

6. And, he still thinks I'm hot. Had to repeat as I still have trouble with this one. I mean, I think I'm a sexpot, but I have the reverse of body-image disorder, in that I have high self-esteem and can't believe that Clive Owen hasn't called yet. I'm still waiting baby...

7. He does all the bills. For this alone, I would marry him again. Plus, If I did them (we flirted with this long ago, with "mixed" results), we would probably lose the house, lose the cars & be on the run from the law in about 30 seconds.

8. I make WAY more money than him, and he's o.k. with that. I think he prefers his pimp being a bitch. He said the other way around made his ass hurt.

9. He will listen/pretend to listen to me rant about work, friends, shopping, nonsensical bullshit- whatever, without looking bored or changing the subject. Seriously. He even asks questions sometimes, I'm sure against his better judgement. Once I went off about shopping with my friends (god, this even bores me) for shit, maybe 45 minutes. I would have slapped me.

10. He puts up with me, is entertained by my many psychoses, is supportive, stays calm in most situations, can fix things, reads real books, has the best skin, prettiest green eyes and Hobbit feet, does/wears things I specifically tell him NOT to, and, and, and...

and he never ceases to amaze me.

There you go. Back to talk of cooches and bloody thumbs later.

1 comment:

Failcooks said...

Perhaps not surprisingly, with the exception of number 8, ALL of the above apply to reasons why I love my ball & chain as well. Including the birthday and anniversary stuff. Seriously.