Monday, February 12, 2007

Delicious sauerkraut, you tempt me with your sexy cabbage lusciousness.

So, I'm not hungover anymore (haven't had a two-day hangover since my 15-year reunion and it was totally worth it. I think there may be a plaque saluting me in that tiny redneck bar up north- I'm freaking famous there).

Yet, I continue to eat as if I were.

Specifically, I brought a roasted chicken breast and chickpea-edamame salad to work to avoid any temptation, but it was sausage & sauerkraut day in the cafeteria- no contest. I can't say no to sauerkraut and any type of cured pork product - I am physically incapable. Now I'm thinking about a cookie or something to round out the experience. Plus, I had to go to work early today, so no time to work out.

This is not helping my pre-vacation ass. I leave in a few weeks for a tropical vacay (first EVER) and wearing a swimsuit is starting to make me sweat a little (said sweat strangely smells like vinegar & onions today- go figure). I'm frantically searching online for a swimsuit that has a bottom that resembles the control-top part of control-top pantyhose. Looks like I'll have to settle for a boy-short style that seems like it will hide most of the offending thigh-fat. Maybe no one will notice if I wear control-top hose under my suit- that would totally solve the problem.

Well, at least I'll be in a foreign country with friends who are in the same (or worse) shape that I am.
And really, I'm not fat or gross, just kind of jiggly.

Maybe I'll wear a thong.

On a side note: I am also getting my first ever cooch-region waxing before we go. I have been opposed to this inhumane act up to this point, but it's getting a little jungle-like down there and drastic measures are needed. I have an abnormally high pain threshold, but I'm still not excited about this. Maybe I should get a lightning-bolt, just for fun.


Kate said...

My advice: Do not get waxed on the week prior to or following your period. Take 4 Advil liqui-gels 30 mins beforehand. The upper region hurts worse than the sides. Exfoliate during the growing out process.

Never go back to shaving. Waxing is a million times better.

Whiskeymarie said...

Advil...I'm thinking more along the lines of vicodin.