Saturday, February 24, 2007

Does this orange jumpsuit make me look fat?

I am not a good driver, for the most part. Though, at this point in my life, I figured that I'm as good a driver as I can hope to ever be, what with senility and a Lincoln Towncar right around the corner.

I have had many accidents, the majority of which were the fault of...drumroll here...yours truly.

Mostly though, I have Really, really, really bad luck when it comes to all things car-related. No pun intended, I think I pissed off the automotive gods at some point and have bad car karma.

Today, I did something bad, something I feel more than a little shame for, with my beloved motorized bitch.
Let's just say it involves my car door getting frisky with the car door next to me in a parking lot when I was running errands. My baby left a 6-inch "love scratch" on that frisky fella. Shit. She couldn't help it- it's REALLY windy today, and she got caught up in the stuff.
Yes, I know, I should have left a note, but I didn't.

Dear other car owner- I'm sorry. I panicked.

If anyone saw- which is a possibility, I am fully expecting the 5-0 to come to my door & haul me away today. I deserve it. Never mind the countless cads that have marked up my beauty, used her & abused her without so much as a phone call or a note.
But, I'll get over it.
As long as I'm not in the slammer.
My next post may be from jail, which at least might be interesting. Maybe I'll get a nickname from the other cons. Or a prison tattoo. Or scabies.

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