Friday, December 5, 2008

Internet porn that probably won't get you fired

To prove to y'all that I don't exist solely on a diet of Doritos, bad coffee and despair, here are some pictures of things I have cooked here at Casa de VonPartypants over the last few weeks.

I know how you guys love the food porn.
"Oh yeah, baby. Roll me up, dip me in salsa and gnaw on me like a beef burrito. Oh yeahhhh. Slather me in sour cream and guacomole, tiger. Mmmm Hmmm..."


Tofu spring rolls with fresh basil:


Leek and pork potstickers. Truth be told: these are from a bag, frozen. But I love this brand and am way to lazy to make potstickers from scratch at home on a weeknight.

Spicy beef & broccoli with orange:

French toast on multigrain ciabatta bread:

Chicken, roasted poblano pepper, roast corn and queso fresco quesadillas (insert outdated Napoleon Dynamite joke here):

Not food, unless you're into cat: the other, other white meat, but I thought I'd show you the habitrail I made for the kitties out of two boxes I had from my new lamp:

Butternut squash/rosemary/spinach & chicken lasagna loosely based on this recipe. It was good, but I "lightened" it up a bit, so it wasn't as rich as it could have been. If I make it again, I'm going whole-hog with the cream, cheese and such. But still, it was pretty darn diggily darned good:

Just a picture of St. Paul looking all pretty and christmas-y at the corner of Selby and Snelling at dusk. See, Gwen? I can muster up a bit of fucking holiday spirit TOO!:

Sweet potato and black bean hash with poached eggs and low-fat jalapeno "hollandaise":

One of the rare times I follow a recipe. This is one of my all-time favorite soups, out of the Olives cookbook. Carrot bisque with bacon. This soup is beyond wonderful- simple, but the flavor and texture makes me all tingly in my nether regions:

Since I was on a roll with the whole "following recipes" thing, this is out of the same cookbook. It is a Portugese-style dish with turkey cutlets pounded thin and rubbed with an amazing spice rub. They are in a sauce with chorizo, fennel, tomatoes, onions, almonds, garlic and lemon.
So. Good.
I served it on wide whole-wheat pasta noodles:
How about you?
Eat anything good lately, or have we been concocting "entrees" like "le Chefboyardee beefaroni on a bed of crispy barbequed potatoes with a delicate sauce of melted cheese de Nachos" from the vending machines at work again?

Come on, fess up.

Happy friday, my warm, melty layers of squash & cat lasagna. Happy Friday.

XO
.

35 comments:

i am playing outside said...

habitrail. AWESOME. you are loved.

also, i almost vomited at the thought of carrot bisque [sorry] but then the word bacon made it sound like the most delicious thing ever. you're a smart lady. you know the bacon secret.

Dr Zibbs said...

All I've had all morning is OJ. Guess it's time for lunch. Those eggs look great!

pistols at dawn said...

Posts like this and networks like the Food Network make me realize that hobos and I eat a lot of the same things. Except they have an excuse for not cooking things.

John said...

Did I read that right? You went light on the cheese? I'm totally kicking you out of the club.

Gwen said...

Ditto what Pistols said. The best I can muster are tiny cans of vegetables, and I even complain about those.

Love the pussy playground. My boys are threatening to stage a coup unless I treat them as well as you do yours.

Fran said...

Reading this entire post makes me feel tingly in my nether regions missy.

I think I used that line on my blog recently, but I can't be sure!

justme said...

please, please, please, can i get the recipe or basic gist of the orange beef and broccoli

beatgrl said...

I am so turned on now.

This is what casa beatgrl's been eating the past week:
roast turkey, cereal, turkey and rice soup, pancakes, turkey sandwiches, cereal, turkey and squash soup, cereal, turkey and black bean soup, cereal, turkey enchiladas, oatmeal, turkey pad thai, cereal.

I have stir fry beef in the fridge for tonight. I would LOVE to hear how you made that amazing broccoli beef. Please.

Word Duds said...

I think some people have heightened taste buds. I'm convinced mine must be retarded because my nether regions tingle when I eat gluten-free pretzels.

WendyB said...

If I took a picture of what I ate, people would get bored by all the chocolate.

Stacey said...

Dear Mr. WM,

Whether you like it or not I am stealing your wife. You've been lucky long enough. Let some of the rest of us have the pleasure of the wonderfully full belly from divine cooking, and the laughter and craziness that only she can provide.

Yours,
Ebony WM

Tim said...

I made some kickin pasta sauce recently with homemade meatballs and braciole. It took about nine hours but it was so good I think I'm technically Italien now.

Winter said...

What time should I come for dinner?

Mel O said...

Dammit WhiskeyMarie! How did you know that the reason I got fired last week is because I was looking at so much porn on the internet?

kirby said...

I made potstickers from scratch a couple of weeks ago. You're right, they don't taste THAT much better than the kind you get out of the bag to justify the work.

Suze said...

See now you're just being a tease!

EmBee said...

Mmmmmm Baby, You make it all sound Sooooo Good! Well, except for that super un-sexy ingredient you threw in there... Tofu... Blech!

H said...

Last night I had penne pasta with some leftover sauce and some mozzarella. Tonight I am thinking about Rice a Roni. Will you please become my personal chef? In return I will sit on the couch and give you commentary about what is happening on TV.

Moe Wanchuk said...

Hey MelO...can you send me the site you were on????

Whiskey....I'm a Quantity over Quality guy.
I just talk about how much I stuffed down my pie-hole.

i ate 7 tacos tonight...and some punkin pie.
and now i dont feel so good.

BallerinaToes said...

It's 10:30 at night and I'm really hungry now. Can you send some Carrot Soup? Kthx.

I made Martha Stewart's macaroni and cheese this week and holy hell is it good.

ali said...

i made southwestern yam fries with avocado dip, served with chipotle chicken focaccia sandwiches. yum. today dinner was a fiber one granola bar and half a tuxedo truffle mousse cake from save on foods. sigh.

Kim said...

Huh.
I made quesadillas recently too, but for some reason they looked NOTHING like that.
I love cooking and I'm always trying to branch out, but not too far out. The husband is good about not being too picky, but he WAS raised in the south, so there are certain things he's very afraid of. And he doesn't really like pasta. How did I marry someone who doesn't really like pasta?
I wonder - have you ever considered putting together a cookbook? (with pictures of course)I have the feeling it would make a lot of people very happy.

Fancy Schmancy said...

If you ever get sick of the Mister, will you come be my wife?

180|360 said...

I wish you could make me some of that hash right now to soak up all the wine I ingested last night.

I've been on a cooking craze lately. I've also been eating nonstop, so I'm trying to calm down a bit.

Amaya said...

Yup. That did the trick. Now I need to take a nap.

Giggle Pixie said...

Jump on over to my blog when you get a chance. I left you an award!

Stefanie said...

Thanks for that. I just had half of a frozen pizza about an hour and a half ago, but I'm gonna need a second dinner now. Will you come make it for me? :-)

movin' down the road said...

well shoot. now I'm going to go rummage in the fridge and try to make something that resembles anything remotely close to that egg on hash thing. yum

Katrin said...

I've been eating lots of cake, spinach, eggs, soy beans. But I'll have a burger or something today. And I am looking forward to cooking again! Can I have the recipe for the beef & broccoli dish, please? That looked the best to me... Thanks!

T said...

The french toast looks fantastic. We made a monster batch of chili over the weekend. It was comical.

Kate said...

Food pr0n...*swooning. OMG, you don't play fair.

nanners said...

will you photograph everything you make and post it? i'm the kind of person who eats to photos of food on the internet.

Iheartfashion said...

Your food looks amazing. I hate cooking with a passion, but I do love to eat. Wish you lived closer...

John said...

Will you please adopt me? Will work for food.

Mommy Lisa said...

Hand over the recipe for the hash & hollandaise and no one gets hurt.

;)