Friday, November 21, 2008

The one where I pretend you can't buy my love even though you totally can.

So, round one of the "Great Whiskeymarie Mail Project" went off fairly smoothly. I didn't accidentally send anyone either of my cats and I haven't been questioned by the FBI yet, so all is good. If you sent me your address and didn't get anything, let me know as I am retarded and may have missed a few. And, on a side note- If I accidentally mailed anyone my unders I apologize. I seem to be missing a few pairs and can only guess as to their fate. Also, if whoever got the package with the white powder and the firearms could just go ahead and send it back to me, that would be awesome. If not, no big deal, just expect my next posts to be conspicuously devoid of a's q's and z's as my left pinky finger will be missing.
Thanks- you're a peach.

I send stuff out, all over the world (literally- I sent mail to Paris & Vienna this round), and I really, truly expect nothing in return. I enjoy just sending stuff out, hopefully making someone's day a little nicer by getting mail that isn't from the Cable company or the oil change place.

But...
Some of you feel compelled to send stuff back, thereby completing the circle of life and saving the Lion King.

I have been slow in my thank you's for my fun, weird, tasty and pretty gifts. I realized I was nearing the 45-day etiquette limit for random mail thank-you's, so today I want to give an internetal high-five to my darling little love monkeys that took time to think about me, put stuff in a box, and mail it out so that my sexypants mailman could be blessed again with the glory of my smiling face.

Behold-

From my girl Ciarra in CA, I got a totally awesome, vintage-y black glass bead necklace & earrings:
I can't wear the earrings right now because my ear-holes hurt from wearing dangly earrings on my big, messy night out this week. Damn ear-holes.


From my girl Katrin in Vienna, I received a little box of tasty treats. Schnee balles!!

All weekend after I got these crunchy-coated balls of marzipan yumminess I would randomly blurt out "Schnee Balles!" just because it's fun to say. But damn you, Katrin. Now I'm addicted to these little love nuggets, and since I don't see a trip to Austria in my future, when I start shaking from withdrawl I may need someone to "talk me down" so to speak.

Schnee Balles!!:


My funny, lovely Patti sent me a super cute vintage-y sparkly bracelet that I pretty much demanded she give to me. The word "subtle" means nothing to me.
Please feel free to ignore the pasty white skin underneath the sparkles:


My bad boy John sent me the furry goodness that is keeping me and my pussies warm and cuddly at night:
Sir Bananabottom says "hey". He's so soft and smooshy. I love him.


My girl Amy in TX, who is fast becoming my adopted southern sister, sent me tasty treats that play to my weaknesses- wine, chocolate & the kitties.
Kittie wine! I think it's almost too cute to drink, but I predict I will do so in a fit of online shopping burnout in the very near future:

She also sent me a block of chewy, fudgy, brownie-esque goodness called "Miles of Chocolate". I can't really describe this wonder except to say that it tasted like what I imagine would be the result of brownies mating with fudge and fairies in some sort of magical three-way.
I have a picture, but the chocolatey goodness is long, long gone as I took most of these photos a while ago. No fudgey goodness for you! I ate it all!:


T.J. in Nevada sent me what I have been referring to as my "box o' fun!". I think he understands my love of randomly weird stuff. I totally love this package (that's what SHE said!):

Monkey socks, pens, a piece of the Berlin wall (complete with certificate of authenticity), an odd little pocket knife/tool, some pretty, polished rocks, and coins from around the world:

Look closely and you will see...monkey!

Well played, T.J. I loved, loved, loved this box o' fun.


And finally, my doppelganger, the ebony to my ivory, the love of my life that is the "other" WM sent me a little something to keep me warm during the cold MN winter:

She knows me so well- she sent me spicy cock.
I love her.

If I forgot anyone I'll be back later with more. And a HUGE thank you to all who have sent cards, postcards and letters back to me. I'd scan them all, but I don't think my ass can take sitting at this desk that long.

You guys are wicked awesome and if I were there with you right now I'd shove my tongue in your mouth in an awkward attempt to french kiss you, and then I'd touch you inappropriately in your "special" place.

Happy Friday, my sparkly, chocolatey, boozy cock nuggets. Happy Friday.

XO
.

24 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

We did not get our USDA approved daily minimum of photos of you in this post. Please amend this post and add more photos of yourself. Thanks.

vespadaddy said...

I woulda mailed you something back, but I don't have a return address for you on file.......

pistols at dawn said...

Fudge, brownies, and fairies in a three way? There's a party in my mouth, and those elements are invited.

Unfortunately, it's only the fairies that show up.

Kim said...

Yeah, I feel like a big shithead. I wanted to mail you something back but kept 2nd guessing myself and now I know I am a true asshole.
I WANTED TO BE YOUR SOUTHERN SISTER, DAMN TEXAS TO HELL!
That's okay, it's really okay. I know you weren't sending cool stuff to us to get stuff back; that's what's so cool about you.

Lollie said...

Kitty wine? Were they sloppy drunks, angry drunks, or just plain solemn drunks? Oh wait...was it just about the shape of the bottle? Or better yet, was the wine made from juicy-picked, crushed and aged kittens?

McGone said...

Some how I missed this whole "Great Whiskeymarie Mail Project," which is odd because I carefully read every post thinking there may be secret messages just for me hidden in the pictures and text. There is a good chance I was drunk that day though.


My word verification is "Cormin" which is what I sound like when someone knocks at my door while I am eating a Snickers bar.

Giggle Pixie said...

Hey, where can one score some of that kitty wine? That was awesome.

And the Miles of Chocolate? OMG, just the description made me gain 5pounds - and orgasm - simultaneously. I.WANT.SOME.

Mommy Lisa said...

I could drive by and dump stuff on your lawn...

;)

WM and her cock - that girl is clever!

Whiskeymarie said...

Monkey- give me a few days, I'm sure there will be more.

vespad-I'll send it to you in "round two".

pistols- looks like you're two ways short.

pseudokim- I like big families- I'll adopt you too!

Lol- Pooter was all messy and hitting on Trouble before she started throwing things and yelling about "those assholes!"
Trouble just mumbled a lot and peed himself before he passed out. It was fun.

McGone- I was going to mail something to you, but I remembered you moved. If you e-mail your address, you're in.

Giggle- I have no idea where she got the wine, but it sure is cute. The chocolate WAS amazing. Seriously good stuff, I've never seen it here in MN.

mommy- It would be hilarious to find random objects on my lawn. Feel free.

BunGirl said...

I'm feelin a little left out, WAAAAAAAAAA! I didn't get anything! I'll send you something cool back.......

Where do I send the email again? I don't want to leave it on the post.

Dr Zibbs said...

Now I feel like a cheapass. That's it. I'm sending you cash.

Whiskeymarie said...

Bungirl- e-mail it to me:
candycanewhiskey@yahoo.com

Zibbs- I don't need anything from you. Your unconditional worship is more than enough for me.

Distributorcap said...

i didnt see your address on the card i got......

i actually want to send you something........

send me your address, you have my email

WendyB said...

What if I WANT you to send me your cats?

Gwen said...

I love when being a dork has dividends.

Moe Wanchuk said...

What did the Cock Soup taste like? My wife was curious....seeing that she's never tried it before.

Letty Cruz said...

UGH! I miss ALL the good shiznit. Note to Self: MUST CANCEL LIFE.

Anonymous said...

I'm still looking over my shoulder for all those "subtle" hints that you sent.

Keeps life exciting.

Patti

Stefanie said...

Somewhere back in my bedroom at my parents' house, I have a piece of the Berlin wall, too. Cock soup, though? That I do not have.

180|360 said...

How did I miss out on this great opportunity? I want someone to send me a spicy cock nugget. :)

Anonymous said...

Hee. I'm glad my care package was a hit. To all who asked, but I am not responsible for your soon to be addiction...

http://www.milesofchocolate.com/getit.asp

WM, I talked to Miles and he said there's a store in town that sells it...

Tell him Amysue sent you.

As to the wine, it was a reisling (not my favorite - too sweet) on dispalay at my favorite store, Grapevine Market on the Halloween display. I promptly got three, two black and one orange.

However, I searched the web and this is what I came up with:

http://www.moselland.de/275.0.html?&L=1

http://petguru.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/cat-wine-for-cancer/

Enjoy all you choco-boozers, you!

amysue

Stacey said...

I'm always looking out for you my dear.

I trust the soup has served you well.

MWAH,

Ebony WM

John said...

RE: "...My bad boy John sent me the furry goodness that is keeping me and my pussies warm and cuddly at night..."

I'm just going to bask in that thought until New Year's.

I think I was one-up'ed by doppelganger, however.

P.S. - I've missed you. : )

Freida Bee, MD said...

I didn't know there was instant cock soup mix. I've been making mine from scratch all this time.... Who knew?