Wednesday, September 24, 2008

If it's "hump day" how come no one's humping me?

Random updates, in bullet form so as not to cause recurring warts:
  • The Mr. declared our new fancypants washer and dryer to be "hands-down, the best purchase we've made. Ever." I guess our house, our wedding bands and Larry, the hobo we purchased on the black market for thirty-five cents and a pack of Old Golds mean nothing to him. Ingrate.
  • Once again I have proven why the Government chose to deem me (via certified letter) "unfit for being in charge of/overseeing/minding the cage of any living being under the age of 45" by accidentally locking Trouble in our tiny back porch all night last night. In case you're keeping score, this is the third time we have unknowingly imprisoned our furry little turd factories. Don't be surprised if I'm on the new season of "Animal Cops".
  • Two new lights installed in the ongoing series "Operation Fix this Fucking House":
The entry light that I am in deep, tingly love with. It's hand-blown, swirly, blood-red glass that looks amazing at night:


And our dining room light. The glass drum in about 1/2" thick and the whole thing weighs about as much as a case of severed human feet, which if you are unaware, weighs about 40 pounds. Please ignore the manky ceiling as we haven't got that far yet:

I'm going to pretend that my semi-sexual love of these lights makes up for the fact that our electrician "accidentally" ripped out our perfectly lovely 40's retro kitchen light (that he and I had JUST discussed and I told him I wanted to keep it rather than try to find a new one right now) and replaced it with a $12 shit light that we had purchased (and clearly labeled as such) for the top of the basement stairs. I'm just telling myself that he was drunk.
  • I threw out a bunch of crap we had stored in our old IKEA coffee table that has now moved on to greener pastures at a friend's house in Minneapolis. Included in all of the stuff we HAD to hold on to for several years:
A huge stack of magazines from 2005-6 (on a side note: I have subscribed to Harper's for many years now, yet I have actually made it through .06% of them. I think I felt that I needed it to balance out my Interview, Vanity Fair, Esquire, Marie Claire and Domino consumption. I don't want my mailman to think that I'm shallow.):

Packets that I thought at first might be lube (and was wondering what happens at home when I'm not there as this stuff was in the living room) but turns out is just eyeglass lens cleaner wipes:


I kept these, however, as I have an unhealthy obsession with old magazines and newspapers:


And I kept these because NO ONE gets to touch my electronic Yahtzee game, and I can appreciate a good Stud. Really, who doesn't?:

But this next thing? I have no idea where it came from, but I don't feel like I should toss it. I don't smoke of the weed, but I have to assume that if I ever choose to do so that I will end up legally compromised in an unfamiliar State in some way, shape, or form. You never know when something like this will come in handy:

  • I bought new (ugly but so comfortable I want to spoon with them) shoes for work from a company called Ulu. The shoe is called the "huvi", so I have been randomly exclaiming "ULU HUVI!" for the last day or so. Try it, it's fun.
  • I found my old prom dresses. We'll see what direction I go with this discovery...
  • I have to go to work- you'll have to continue this conversation without me. Just imagine me nodding and going "Wow! That's so interesting! You are truly a man/woman among men/women."
Happy Wednesday, my little, tumbling piles of dust bunnies and lint. Happy Wednesday.

XO

29 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Great red lamp. Let's see the real lube. As for saving mags, I still have all of my old mad magazines from from days of old stored safely in my attic.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Old magazines! Yay! Love the new light fixtures.

Mojito said...

I adore the light fixtures!
I can never find bits that I love like that.
Can't wait to see your prom dress shenanigans!

Perfectly Shelly said...

I covet your red light fixture. I'm so JEALOUS!

John said...

Why do you tease with titles like this?

Why Whiskey?

WHHYYYYYY????!!

The lights are gorgeous. : )

Bubs said...

I was going to say you could probably ship those old magazines to Dr. Monkey. He loves those things.

Those lighting fixtures are cool.

Fran said...

Loving your lights! Wow.

Harpers? Oh you!

Falwless said...

Wow, I, too, adore your light fixtures. I am drooling!

Kate said...

Squeeeeee! You have the Peanuts Christmas Newsweek! Eeeeeeeeeeeee! I have a serious obsession with "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown" and could watch it at least 52 times per year.

Kate said...

PS: Sweet lights! I hope your electrician hung them, because DIY electrician is not so fun.

Sarah said...

I lurrrrve that red light!

And you're not the only one who gets weird combos of magazines. My sister always wants Glamor (girl's gotta have her gossip) and Newsweek (she likes to look informed, I guess).

McGone said...

Whatever you do, please do not chant "ULU HUVI!" three times while looking in a mirror. Trust me.

T said...

I like the red light as well. I wish I had kept more stuff like prom dresses, but I'm so frickin' anal I go to Goodwill about once a month to get rid of anything "untidy."

boredmando said...

Oh snap, I love those lights. I can't wait until I get a house and can buy awesome things for it.

Anonymous said...

All I have say about that GORGEOUS blood-red light fixture: "Redrum, redrum...."(hehehehe!!)
And to your foolish and NON - LISTENING electrician: "Listen up buster!!"
As for the old prom dresses: Use them to inspire us for some more fun, free Halloween costume ideas for this year!!
~ Renata1967

pistols at dawn said...

Prom dresses, plural? I can imagine that, if left on a floor in a heap for hours, it might have been tough to salvage them for round two, but multiple proms smacks of popularity.

Or being held back a year.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I vote for you taking pictures of yourself IN the prom dresses UNDER the to-die-for red light. Anyone want to second my vote?

Fancy Schmancy said...

Can I get a What-What? (while looking up and raising my hands, palm-up, twice. This is a move that is designed to embarrass the shit out of any 14 year old with a white mother. Like me breathing isn't embarrassment enough.)

Gwen said...

Love the new light fixtures.

It's not you, it's the cats. I am very careful about the location of my two monsters when I shut doors and yet they STILL end up locked in/out of somewhere for days.

Those hand-held electronic games belong in the shitter.

Can't wait to see how you use the prom dresses!

Moe Wanchuk said...

You know....when I "take it" to the old lady, I'm the one who wants to turn the lights off. The girls at the office call me..."Good from far"

Far from Good

Stefanie said...

OK, those lens cleaning cloths? A guy once brought a handful of the exact same ones to me as a gift on our second date. "Some guys bring flowers," he said. "I bring lens cleaner." It sounds absurd, but I thought it was actually sort of charming. Also, he'd just gotten Lasik the week before. He had no need for the lens cloths anymore. Ah, memories.

WendyB said...

Can I buy the hobo from you?

CDP said...

I can't wait for the prom dress post. (and my new favorite expression is "I'm off like a prom dress")

surviving myself said...

Harpers? Really? Okay, let's see all the Readers Digests. I know you have them.

Kim said...

My husband has that book and a few others like it. Not to incriminate him, so let's just say he likes to be WELL INFORMED on a wide variety of topics.

dguzman said...

I knew Monkey would be happy about the magazines.

And I would LOVE to touch that Yahtzee game! Me luvs Yahtzee.

Good thing you're making sure to keep the right records, just in case. That's why I've got that Miles Davis album too.

Lara said...

Ooh, those lamps are pretty!! Me likey.

Also, I am a bit obsessed wtih that very same Yahtzee game.

Ed said...

Ulu huvi! I like it. Sounds Finnish.

cat_trapper said...

Hey, what is Trouble doing on MY chair? I kid you not....I have that exact same chair.