In order to add a level of interest to my monumentally uneventful weekend, I encourage you to imagine me tap dancing with a giraffe to the tune of "Tea for two" while reading this.
See? It's already interesting and I haven't even started yet.
This was an "Operation Fix this Fucking House" weekend that involved three trips to Menards, one trip to Target, one trip to Home Depot, one trip to Lowe's, a pit stop at Trader Joe's, installing my new high-efficiency washing machine (yay!), and ordering of the pizza from Pizza Luce'.
Five light fixtures, a new mattress set, a new bamboo (!) dining room table that I am in deep love with but haven't bought chairs for yet, lumber, cat food and lots of kleenex.
Speaking of kleenex...
The highlight of the weekend was when we were in bed Saturday night.
No- not that, you dirty birds.
We were in bed Saturday night, sleeping, when I woke up stuffed up and sniffling to beat the band. I reached over to my nightstand, grabbed a tissue, and blew.
Unfortunately, I underestimated both the volume and the rumble of my powerful nostril excavation.
In the dark, the second I started this horrific nose symphony, the Mr. jerked awake, started flailing around with a "whaa...?" and promptly fell out of bed, taking the alarm clock with him.
There you go. I blew my nose hard enough to knock my husband out of bed.
He's choosing to blame one of the cats, neither of which were in the vicinity at the time of the incident.
Someone needs to invent a tissue with a built in silencer. They have the technology.
You do indeed lead "the glamourous life."
but did you use the puffs with vicks in them? i'm addicted.
OMG I am ROFLMAO at the visual of the mister being jerked out of sleep like that and falling out of the bed.
Oh dear... that is just hilarious.
Sorry about your nose and mucous problems, though. I've had a sinus infection for 3 months so I know the feeling. Major suckage.
Hope it clears up soon.
: ) Wouldja stop that DARN TOOTIN' Whiskey! *snort*
I can't believe you blew your husband right out of bed.
You are, indeed, a woman of many talents!
I believe I saw that very incident happen on an old episode of "The Ropers." From this point forward I will likely picture Norman Fell whenever you talk about the Mr.
I am LMAO that your honker rolled The Hubs out of bed. You, my friend, are one classy dame. Maybe you should put the old mattress on the floor on his side of the bed.
OMG. LMFAO!! LBJLSDKYWKRP.
I've farted my husband out of bed, but never honked him out.
What???? No IKEA?
I always blame your cats for everything.
My nose could out-blow your nose any time.
Ah-ha the two dirty-est animals in the barnyard.
There is nuttin' like knockin' the mister out da' bed babe! Good blow!
Come meet our new little 'blame kitten'...he be on the blog!
Was going to insert witty blow job comment here... but mommy beat me to it. (Wait, that's feels wrong.)
Isn't allergy season over yet????
Woo-hoo for the productive weekend.
You know what? I would take my significant other sneezing me out of bed a couple of times per year vs. my annoying co-worker who has some kind of nasal issues 365 days year. I'm not kidding when I say that she literally honks her schnoz about 25 times per hour so loud that I can't even hear myself think!! At least you aren't in some kind of prideful denial, and your allergies will eventually go away. Still, I will pray for the stuffy nose gods to relieve you of your suffering. ~ Renata1967
This may be a superpower, albeit one no one would want.
aw that's so sweet...he's blaming the cats to try to make you feel better!
One time I blew my nose while my hubby was on the phone with his mother, and she asked if we were at a lighthouse.
I try to blame Fred for everything. Hoper feeling better. If you go shopping again, will you pick up a new rug for my living room.
The married life is just so glamorous!
The visual of your husband going from sound asleep to falling out of bed is hilarious to me.
I always knew you had a special kind of talent. Now it's finally been recognized.
Have you seen that show Wanna Bet ?
I'm pretty sure you could take your mad nose blowing skillz there and make some cash
Have you ever tried one of those neti pot thingies?
(I never have, but heard they were good for sinus/allergy problems). They look kinda gross, but it seems you are kinda into that. ;)
Wow... I bet you have a sexy-phlegmy voice all of allergy season...
Or is it that nasally-Nanny voice? :)
nose... husband... bed.... BAHAHAHAHAHA... you slay me!
now, THAT is romance.
totally unrelated: what do you think about Al Franken winning the Senate seat?
Oh, this has NEVER happened to me. Certainly not last week, when I was stricken with the Matrian Death Flu/Cold hybrid, and was all but rattling hte windows with my nose blowing. I'm so sexy it huuuurts.
Thank you Miss Whiskey. It's good to be back - hope you are fighting off the blues with lots of booze and sex. That's my preferred method and I swear by it.
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