I had a picture post for y'all, but then I realized that I really needed to get to work, so I had to put pants on and leave the house. Then I got to work, and I realized that I can't do the thing that I came here early to do, so I took my pants back off and now I'm sitting here, in my cubicle, pictureless, pantsless and not working. Oh, and eating lentils.
So, instead of productivity and crap I'm going to take care of a few things.
First: Thanks to all of you for helping me stay "meme-free" for a few months. The doctors said it would clear up as long as I used the ointments and salves that they prescribed, and now other than a few hairy bumps I'm totally clear. I thank you for not touching me there.
Second: I was tagged for a meme, and I'm doing it. I know you won't try to stop me because you're such an enabler like that. Like, remember that time when I asked you to not let me eat any more nachos, under any circumstances? And then later on you're all like, "Hey! Let's go get beer and nachos!" And I was all, "Hey! That's a great idea!"
And then remember how I overdosed on flourescent orange nacho cheese and you had to call Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey to help you drag my body to the nearest Taco John's and you left me there for dead? I have forgiven Whiplash for that one, but you're still on thin ice, mister.
Ms. Meg, a.k.a. Madwoman tagged me to give you six unremarkable things about myself.
This should be easy, as I am a virtual potpourri of unremarkability.
1) I tell people that I never, ever drink pop/soda/coke, but I forget that I drink it all the time at work. So I guess that's not so much a lie as it is denial. We have a serve-yourself fountain thingy here at work with yukky Pepsi products. Through trial and error, I have discovered that if you mix a ratio of 2/3 diet lemon-lime Slice with 1/3 diet Pepsi that you get something bordering on tasty. I'm drinking it right now.
2) I only wash my hair every 3-5 days. Quit making that face. Seriously, quit it. You'd understand if you had my hair, but I'm glad you don't cause then I'd be bald. I have really fine, sort of curly, sort of straight hair (I call it "surly") that only begins to look good 1-3 days after I wash it. Day one, it is slippery and yet strangely frizzy, but it feels lovely even though I look like I dried my hair in a wind tunnel. Day two it is starting to get the lovely curl I like so much and the frizz is gone due to the 14 Aveda products I've slathered on it. Day three is usually referred to as "hair nirvana" day. Day four I start thinking it is getting a little tangled and manky. Sometimes this is when I wash. If I get to day five, you will usually see me sporting both a ponytail and a hairband to keep my bangs from touching my forehead and sticking.
3) I'm pretty sure I know every jingle from every television commercial from the mid-to-late 70's and early 80's. Every. One. Yet, I forget birthdays and anniversaries with astounding regularity. I'm conviced that my brain has a limited amount of things it can keep track of, and as long as those damn jingles are in there- I'm screwed. At least when I forget your birthday again this year you'll get to hear the "Enjoli" commercial as a consolation prize.
4) I like lima beans, brussels sprouts, cabbage and prunes. Yum yum yum. I am nothing if not stinky, gaseous and regular.
5) I wear a size 9-1/2 shoe, I am about 1/4" shy of 5'8" tall, my wedding ring size is 6-1/4, and I wear a 36 high-b, low-c. No, I won't tell you my weight, even though my jeans have been very loose lately. I'll just say that it's over 90 and under 900 and that I'm perfectly content with whatever it is.
6) Like a typical girl, whenever I feel sorry for myself I buy myself gifts. Sometimes it's in the form of a Godiva chocolate-covered marshmallow, and sometimes I buy uncomfortable shoes I end up returning. Last week it took the form of a sweater that will hopefully be waiting for me tonight when I get home. Much like the woman in the Enjoli commercial, I bring home the bacon, so I'm entitled to a damn sweater- dammit. Oh, and I bought many gummi treats for myself last week too. Gummi anything makes it all better.
There you go. Remarkably unremarkable, the wonder of me.
Happy Monday, my squishy, unnaturally-colored gummi treats. Happy Monday.