Monday, August 18, 2008

My big, fat, Midwestern weekend.

So...
One one hand, I successfully avoided having to go to Menards this weekend. On the other hand, I ended up at IKEA on a Sunday afternoon, pushing my way through masses of sweaty Midwesterners looking for that perfect "Schmaarsbrod" end table while trying to not step on the screaming children that seemed to be serving as wiggly, red-faced floor tiles.
One bathroom sink, two dressers and $450 later, we left IKEA hoping that this would be our last trip to the "much assembly required" monolith, but knowing full well that we were probably just deluding ourselves. Damn you, IKEA! Damn you and your fat-free frozen yogurt cones for a dollar! Damn you, you damn dirty apes!!!

So, if we're keeping score (all amounts wildly approximated):
Menards: $1100
IKEA: $56,987
Me: $0

But, casa de VonPartypants is starting to take shape. The plumbing for the new bathroom is roughed in:
If all goes well (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!), then this beauty will be ready for finishing within two weeks.
How sad is it that I am so very happy about having TWO toilets in my house that I get a little teary every time I think about it? But seriously, after the "oh god, if he doesn't get out of the bathroom soon I may have to poop in the back yard like a dog" incident, I think I'm due.

The rest of the weekend:
  • Cleaned the garage- we are finally "styrofoam free". Well, at least for a day or two. seriously- does this stuff breed? Every time I turn around there seems to be more if it that I need to find a way to get rid of. We contemplated building a backyard fort with it- kind of an "urban igloo", if you will.
  • Went to "Pineapple Express", thus setting a world record for me, personally. Two movies in two weeks ("Dark Knight" last weekend) is seriously a record for me. How sad. I loved this movie (Liked Batman too- Christian Tastybale was scrumptious). I have a huge crush on Seth Rogen these days, and the scene with him carrying James Franco out of the building in his tighty whities and striped tube socks pretty much sealed the deal. What can I say? I like 'em goofy, and a honky 'fro never fails to get this girl into a bit of a lather.
  • Had bloodies, deep-fried walleye and nachos with my girl Blondie here. What a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.
  • Shopped for furniture- who knew that it would be so very hard to find a decent round coffee table? If I don't find one soon, I'm just going to go ahead and make one out of leftover Styrofoam and packing peanuts. Hell, if I just spray-paint the whole thing and add some sparkles, I'm sure no one will notice.
Also: bike rides along the Mississippi, sausage, jalapeƱo and pineapple pizza, wine, reading, staying up too late, watching TV on our NEW 42" LCD flat screen, a new purse, watching my bank account dwindle to nothing & not caring, cat wrangling, vodka tonics, a fancy cheese plate for dinner with the Mr. at home, stressing about going back to work in a week, getting ready for the garage sale that we had to postpone a week ( to this Friday and Saturday!), going to the Farmer's Market, and taking pictures of my cats to bore you with:

I hate it when I can't remove the Pooter stains from my sink-

A rare moment where Trouble wants to purr and make out with me-


Happy Monday, my spicy little Bloody Marys with extra "love spice". Happy Monday.

XO

24 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

How often do the cops raid your place anyway?

poobomber said...

Back in the day, you would have had to poop in the freezing cold outhouse. Now you've got it made. Look at you now, TWO bathrooms!!

I bet you buy that TP stuff and don't even use roughed-up catalog pages. Fancy pants.

ekc said...

If you are anywhere near Roseville MN (I am from OR - what do I know about driving distance in MN?), you MUST go to Dania Furniture (www.daniafurniture.com) as they have fabulous furniture that is (gasp) well made and affordable. I have purchased many coffee tables there!

Perfectly Shelly said...

I love Menards....love them. Day after Thanksgiving sales? Nothing better

You have to read my blog and give me advice on how to make the perfect not burned but almost caramel sauce......

Sornie said...

I'm a bit disappointed that there wasn't a creative use for the sink but it could always be used in tandem with the shower for eliminating "booze stink".

Angela said...

I'm playing hookey today! Just thought I'd share.

I guess my litterbox incident means I'm owed a second bathroom? Good to know.

CDP said...

I'm hoping for full blog coverage of the garage sale.

John said...

Hey Missky Whiskey,

A new post from you TOTALLY makes my day don'tcha know. : ) Glad to hear that Casa De VonPartypants is getting plumbed and you still HAVE HOPE that the rest will go as planned. : )

I saw The Dark Knight this weekend too! I'll see your Chrisian Bale and raise you...well, maybe not. Maggie Gylenhaal is sexy in a plain jane sort of way. But she's no Kim Basinger. Heath Ledger's JOKER, however, blew Nicholson's Joker out of the water.

And in closing, awwwww! Cute kitty! : )

Dr Zibbs said...

Whiskey, I hope this doesn't ruin your Monday but I need to insist that the bathroom has a full length mirror with some track lighting on the floor - pointing up. I like to look at myself in the mirror this way after using the can at someone's house and before returning to the party.
I don't need to see plans before you add these items. Just use your best judgement.

Mommy Lisa said...

I used to live soclose the the Tavern on Grand that I regularly stumbled home down the alley....

sounds like it was a blast.

Falwless said...

I loved the If all goes well (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)....

I wish you much luck and much liquor. Mostly liquor, though!

P.S. Your kittehs are adorable!

Dr Zibbs said...

HAAAAA! Falwless spelled "Kittens" - "Kittehs". What a dummy. And for all her comments about MY spelling, links, grammer and typing. I'm totally printing this out and shoving it in her face. I'm doin' it. Smash.

Whiskeymarie said...

Uh-oh. I see a grammar war coming on here.
Just leave me out of it, you two. I know I can't win. Shit, I only spell "weird" right 50% of the time. Thank you, spell check.

kirby said...

If I lived in snow country, I'd be awfully tempted to fashion a snow fortress out of scraps of styrofoam. I could live in there and never have to see my family until Spring thaw!

pistols at dawn said...

Don't you ever wash off that booze stink, baby.

Jon said...

I spent Sunday afternoon drinking bloody marys too. If there's a better hangover cure, I've yet to hear it.

Also, I don't hear so good when I'm hungover.

Moe Wanchuk said...

I just ate a 2 gallon blueberry shake at some hole-in-the-wall up here der in upper Minneeesohta. I better find that 2nd bathroom......FAST!

Fran said...

I am still kind of hoping that if I come over with some bathtub gin, we can still sit at the washer/dryer combo in the dining room for our dinner...

We can, can't we?

Gretta said...

The two things I took away from this post were:
1) The Menards theme song. Thanks for that - we don't have them out here, so no one will understand when I'm all "Save big money at Menaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaards".

2) Your crush on Seth Rogen. Which concerns me. He looks like he smells a bit like Fritos. And you're a chef and all.

My Fashion Frenzy said...

The kittens are so cute!

Renaissance Woman said...

Happy Monday to you too! I wish there was an Ikea in Colorado...want to be addicted to the non-fat yogurt and great deals. I made over 80 trips back and forth to Home Depot during my bathroom remodel! But it's all going to be worth it in the end. Can't wait to see the final product.

180|360 said...

Between you and Dr. Zibbs, I'm always guaranteed a laugh. Thank you both for always coming through.

Frankly, everyone deserves 2 toilets. And judging by your Wordled Box over there, "crap, shit and potty" are pretty prominent parts of your life. I'm thinking a drunky Clive shit in your potty might be the perfect way to celebrate your new loo.

dguzman said...

PLEASE tell me you're gonna live-blog the yard sale. Please, Whiskey. I need it.

Letty Cruz said...

LOVELOVELOVE the last kitty pic! totally hamming it up!