I haven't used bullet points in a while and thought you may be missing them.
Here's my day, random and in comfortable list form so as not to chafe you.
- The "handyman" I chose to build a wall is proving himself not so handy. I estimate I have spent 8.5 hours waiting for him to call, or for him to show up. If we were dating, this is the point where I would start sleeping with his roommate.
- I'm giving him a "get out of jail free THIS TIME" card simply because when he showed up for measurements, he was sporting a righteous 'stache and old school white leather Reebok high-tops.
- Hello, my name is Whiskeymarie and I am addicted to these.
- I'm wearing a Japanese Froot Loops t-shirt as I type.
- My neighbors directly across the street (the only neighbors we've actually talked to as far as actual conversations go) moved weeks ago and we didn't even notice. I guess they were readying the house for the Realtors when I saw them and said Hi today, and she's like, "Oh, we moved. " End of conversation. Just like that. We'll see what moves in. I hope they're English- I've never had English neighbors before. We could get together for tea and crumpets and share a larf about the Queen. Good times.
- Right now, my pants, jeans and dresses are in the closet downstairs, my underwear, jammies and 1/2 of my shirts are in the bedroom dresser, the other 1/2 of my shirts, my work clothes and my t-shirts are in the old "closet room" still, and my socks, misc. accessories and tights are in the guest room. If I can't make up my mind immediately every morning, getting dressed involves no less than 14 trips up and down the stairs and 27 cries of "Motherfucker!", such is my frustration.
- I'm sick and tired of summer, and summer is sick and tired of me.
- Later, I'm going to stain a door. I don't think I've ever stained anything before, unless you count the food stains that are constantly appearing out of "nowhere" on my white shirts.
- I survived my one day of work this week- thank you all for your kind words and sympathy cards. I'm glad y'all understood the gravity of my sorrow.
- I forgot to show you what my little sexypants girl, Gwen, arranged to arrive when I returned from my trip.
Stuff! I like stuff! Especially cute, funny, monkey-laden, cookie-rich stuff!
And, from the looks of this tank top she sent, she has me all figured out:
Someone give Crazy a cookie, then. Crazy can only survive with a strict diet of sugar, white flour and frosting. Don't make Crazy angry. You wouldn't like it when she's angry...
She sent along a note challenging me to do something stupid in my fancy new shirt and show her what I did.
Since I rarely do anything stupid, you'll have to give me at least an hour or two to produce results. Truly great acts of astounding stupidity take time, you know? But is IS almost happy hour time, and it IS Friday...
Chances are I'll be able to come up with something- I wouldn't bet against me, that's all I'm sayin'.
She also gave me a very, very small folding chair.
Fine then. We'll see how this goes. Hmmm...big ass, small chair. I don't see this ending well. I see an awkward and embarrassing trip to the ER in my future.
I think I'll see if I can get one of the cats to use it. I see Pooter lounging in the sun on it, trying in vain to get the white patch of fur on her crotch tan, a margarita in one hand and a tiny little thong bikini covering up her bits.
Thanks for the loot, Gwen!
You have successfully bought my silence about that time you shit your pants.
(makes zipping motion over mouth)
Yup. Safe with me, my dear.
Happy Friday, my naughty little flashes of Pooter bits. Happy Friday.